How did love became love

yu

while you are trying to choose which book to read next. I have imagined this moment many times, I have built a different one in my mind each

what's inside me but now that I'm in this silence, away from the house we shared, from the nights

e it. I'm scared, Wonwoo. I'm scared of how things will change between us because I know they will change forever and as much as I try to imagine that everything will stay the same, that we could cont

ike so much. You were telling me about that glass that you had bought on purpose because it can hold the entire can, with that quiet enthusiasm of yours that always manages to make even the simplest thing special. I looked at you, I li

ee the rejection in your eyes, that smile fading from your lips as you try to find something to say to me so as not to hurt me. I know my

ng. I've loved

se and a book open on your chest. I love you when you pretend to be grumpy but always end up doing exactly what you know w

make you feel guilty or think that you've done something wrong. You've only ever done good in my life and that's a truth that no one ca

est for you to read these words when I'm who knows where, when you can

ything from you, Wonwoo. I'm not asking you to feel what I feel. I just want you to know the truth. And I want you to know that no ma

me will be engraved in me, always. I hope that, wherever you

ll my

ng

which now seems to be the only place where he could find comfort. His knees are pulled up to his chest, his hands clasped around that letter that he had now learned by heart

, a reunion he had envisioned countless times. But now, as reality set in, those same words filled him with dread. For months, he had imagined Mingyu's return, clinging to the hope t

other hand, had stayed behind with a routine too ordinary and a military service that had allowed him to return to the warmth of his home every night. That home, full of silence that Mingyu had left behind, had become a prison

u was

hat place that had been their refuge for years, he had chosen to let Seungcheol know about his discharge first, probably Minghao already

eturn belonged to e

He actually doesn't want to go to that dinner, Mingyu's silence on his discharge date, him not coming back home, was already an answer to why that meeting would cause more harm than good. Wonwoo convinces himself that not attending the

fort. And Wonwoo, in turn, would avoid the confrontation that terrifies him, the one he's not sure he has the strength to face

to him, cutting sharply through his spiraling thoughts, Wonwoo lets out a long, exasperated sigh beca

ers bringing the

says on the other end of the line and Wonwoo feels himself si

me" he says, trying t

ly you can stop moping around and preten

uestion for himself. The thought of Mingyu being around again fills him with a whirlwind of emotions he can't quite name

eally am, even though... I don't think I'm coming to the dinner tonight" he says with his phone still

ed smile, "Oh come on, Wonwoo, don't be a lone wolf just now. It's our tradition to have dinner together

only do M

t, right ?" Seokmin asks, "He h

he stayed at his parents, he didn't

se, "Seungcheol-hyung said he came to vis

l's place but he hadn't come by, hadn't even mentioned him, "Really ?" he finally manages

ays but there is a doubt in his voice that Wonwoo chose to ignore,

ess s

tonight. Really. It'll be nice

kmin wouldn't let go that easily. The thought of all those eyes on him, the unspoken qu

ee you th

leans back, sinking his head into the pillow, and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply. He feels exhausted, not so much physically as emotionall

n his mind, time seems to accelerate inexorably. Every second that passes brings him closer to that moment he fears so much and

sn't want to have attention on him that night, he doesn't want to seem too... nothing. He just wants to go unnoticed, left alone, at least as much as possible. Wonwoo puts on his cardigan, casually adjusting

ke some pictures to share with Carats on Weverse, and then come back here again in your safe spac

of Mingyu's room. He stays still, his hand almost automatically rising to the handle but he stops immediately, balanced

now seem so far away

sn't. He can't let nostalgia g

out and reads Soonyoung's incoming text, "Do you need a ride ?" Wonwoo sighs again, his fingers moving quickly on the screen to reply, "No than

t at the same time something seems missing. Maybe he's missing, maybe Mingyu, or maybe both. Wonwoo puts on his coat, taking a moment to make sure it's c

g delicious smell of hot food that envelop them from the entrance and the soft lights that embraced every corner, turning it into a small relaxing oasis. The owners knew them very well, since the days of their debut, and often reserve

themselves. For Wonwoo, that place was full of memories: the smell of the mandu prepared by Mrs. Oh and the warmth of a hot meal after an endless day in the pra

up at the led sign that shines in the evening darkness and t

, something delicate and never invasive. At the reception, the usual girl gives him a familiar smile, accompan

im, light and unrestrained, and he feels the tension in his shoulders melt, just slightly, his lips curve i

an, perched elegantly in his seat, watches them with his usual knowing smirk, sipping from a glass as if he's above the chaos but the sparkle in his eyes betra

brief moment, Wonwoo freezes u

s enthusiasm contagious as he walks towards

ls, setting down his glass, "You didn't

, "Luckily I persuaded him to come and have fun with h

onghan chimes in with a slightly provocativ

self smiling shyly, almost in awe. "Yeah... how could I" he m

saw each other ? Three months ?" Jos

ng Wonwoo with a firm pat on the back, "My favorite hyung!" he s

ung!" Seungcheol protests, peeking out fr

ng. I'm sorry but that affects priorities" Ch

gs Chan first and then Seungkwan, "I'm really happy to see you guys" he s

tic feline demeanor, Jeonghan moves closer, his eyes gleaming with that attentive, inquisitiv

s his head with a

window natural, fluid, as if he were trying to point out the obvi

with a chuckle, "But I

etween them with a hint of affection. He shakes his head, a knowing smile spreads across

ut now it seemed too obvious, almost cumbersome. A thought crosses his mind, and in an instant that small presence, or rather, absence, hits him more

nyoung shares how his dog, Princess Latte, is still the undisputed ruler of his house, recounting a funny story about how she once stole a piece of ham fro

al careers and to be able to complete their military service to the best of their ability without the pressure of work. Despite everything, they stayed united, brothers as always, the atmosphere is always warm a

naling someone's entrance. Wonwoo looks up almost hesitantly while the others turn sharply

, jumping to his feet and opening his arms with th

on the table, their voices mixing in a chorus of welc

membered. His skin is always so tanned and his hair, grown back and softly falling on his forehead, frames his relaxed face. He's dressed simply, a basic pet

nyoung is the first to reach him, throwing himself into his arms, "How much longer did you want to keep us wa

e I left, I guess old habits nev

at a sarcastic joke from Jeonghan, exchanges a look of pure complicity with Minghao. Seungkwan, with his usual ironic tone, shakes

" Mingyu chuckles, "

Mingyu takes toward him feels like a jolt, a shock that leaves him breathless, a blend of anxiety and something deeper he can't quite name. As Mingyu passes Jeonghan

a soft smile, so delicate

floor crumble b