Colin Clink, Volume 1 (of 3)

attempts made to clear it up; and at the same time finds Col

that the common orders of people were so very inconsiderate as to rush headlong, as it were, upon the increase of families which, after all, they could not support without entailing a portion of the burthen upon the rich and humane, who, strictly speaking, ought to have no hand whatever in the business. His peroration consisted of some excellent advice to the girl herself, (equally applicable to everybody else in similar situations,) not by any means to think of marrying either the gardener or the gamekeeper, until she knew herself capable of maintaining a very large family, wit

he thought if master was more prudent sometimes than some folks said he was, it might be that he would not have occasion to be melancholy so often. The maid replied, that she knew all about it; and if the squire was melancholy, it was because some people in the world were so very wicked as to run head-first on to families, and then go

a steward, in a great house with an easy master, is not, as Richard Oastler well knows, a matter of very easy despatch-he sent word that he was at that moment very deeply engaged in digesting his accounts, but would wait upon his master as soon

p at the door which announced the presence of the stewar

le matter on hand, Longstaff, that requires to be rather nicely managed,

gan Mr. Longstaff: but th

but I know I can depend upon you for a little assistance when it is

e steward, but a second time

rybody knows; and no man need be afraid or ashamed of

refore felt himself bound to repeat his previously intended observation, and accordingly began, "You flat

le secresy and a little manoeuvring are just what's requir

n dimly translated into English, seemed to mean as much as the mysterious popular phrase, "that's your ticket." He the

speak from my own observation and experience, as you well know,-while the members of the British Legislature allow that clause of th

them pay for their whistle, as Franklin says, pretty smartly. Well, what is the consequence?-what ensues? Why, just this. After I've ferreted out some of the worst of them, and put them, as I thought, upon better manners,-the very next time anything of the kind happens again, they lay their heads together, and have the audacious impudence,-the rascality, as I may call it,-the-the-the abominable-However, I should say, to-to go before the overseers of the parish, and persist in swearing every child, without exception, every one, girl and boy,-to me. Now, Longstaff, I dare say you have heard reports of this kind in the course of your acquaintance with one person or anot

, sir, might it not have operated, in the case of some indivi

y hour of their lives. Why, look ye,-here again to-day,-this very morning, that young woman Clink is laid up of another; and, as sure as there's head and tail to a shilling, so sure am I that, unless something be done beforehand to find a father somewhere or other for the y

above given, it was agreed that the steward, acting as Squire Lupton's agent, should make use of all the means and appliances within his power,

d, after an hour and a half's exhortation, coupled with a round number of slices of that pleasant root, commonly called "the root of all evil," he succeeded, to his g

ss this whole transaction to be most nefa

like striking while the iron is hot, he would not be satisfied unless Mistress Clink agreed there a

and proper persons from amongst whom to select a parent, chuckling with renewed glee every now and then as the thought came afresh over his mind of taking revenge upon some one or other of his enemies, th

for the sake of obtaining justice to all parties, between his neighbours and acquaintances. A clothes-line across a yard, a stopped-up drain, or the question whether a certain ditch belonged to the right or to the left land owner, would afford him food for a

double desk, face to face, though divided by a miniature railing along the top, with a poor mis

e mean time Mrs. C. sat down on a three-legged-stool, placed there for the accommodation of weary clients, behind

for each division was as empty as a pauper's stomach. The remaining portion of the shelf was occupied by some few fat octavos bound in dry-looking unornamental calf; while over the fireplace hung the Yorkshire Almanack for the year but one preceding, Ski

high stools occupied respectively by himself and his clerk, and the low one of which Mrs. Clink had already taken possession. Longstaff, however, was soon enabled very kindly to compromise the matter; for while hunting about with his eyes in quest of a supporter of the description mentioned, he beheld in the far corner by the fireplace a few breadths of deal-plank fixed on tressels,

of profound s

hough hesitating what to do, and then made this learned inqui

Don't you see it's an indenture?-and an indenture is

ted speed, proceeded to cut it. Shortly af

before said' or

irst thing that ever was written in the world,-before anything e

miration of Mr. Skinwells acuteness, and Skin well himself looked boldly into the

the birth of our hero Colin, Dr. Rowel expressed to those a

e above brief conversation had terminated, and before that examination of Mrs. Clink had commenced, in which a fathe

against his cheeks in such a manner as to convey to a casual spectator the idea that he was particularly solicitous about a pair of red scanty whiskers, like moles, which grew beneath, and then fixed his eyes in that particular place above the wooden horizon that inclosed him, in which the disc of Mrs. Clink's head now began slowly to appear. As she cam

time." Then looking fiercely in the downcast countenance of the yet feeble culprit before him, he thus continued his discourse. "Come, come, woman, we can't have any blubb

it, and let u

her face so much lower in the folds of the shawl that covered her neck, and hung down upon her bosom,

ook to be got at them. Well, now, listen to me, my

ion, which sounded very much like what musicians term

onvince any body that he was pleased. The surgeon did not change countenance, while the clerk made three or four discursive flourishes with his pen

ossible that my valuable time can be wasted

oor woman in joyful expectation upon the should

corner of her shawl, she raised her head with a feeling of confidence scarcely to be expected, and directing her eyes through the little

r, it is Mr. Longs

started up in an attitude of mute astonishment, whi

steward!" ejac

!" observed

!" muttered

diabolical. If I could pull your tongue across your teeth," he continued, turning to Colin's mother, and shaking his fist in her face, "I'd

inal

readiness to take her oath upon the fact; so that Mr. Longstaff

th, which he had formerly opposed, were not only perfectly correct in themselves, but that they ought to have been extended much furth

r. Longstaff regularly paid the charge of three shillings per week towards the maintenance of that life which I am now writing, and tha

t than he was himself. Nor, even in case it was so, would he have been the first steward in these lat