MY ILLUSION

rely survived, what had left me curled up in bed for weeks, staring at the ceiling, questioning everything. I wasn

him. Jayso

sent shivers down my spine. His voice, deep and velvety, was the kind that lingered in your mind long after the conversation

I di

ex. Either way, when we started chatting on WhatsApp, it felt like a dream. Lovey-dovey

a what I was

found myself checking my phone first thing in the morning, eager to see if he had m

timate. The "no love lost" façade I tried to maintain

should have known better. I should have guarded my heart. But the thrill

nversations

ly sexy voice," Jayson had

t first. "Oh? And how doe

does. I can already imagine how you'd

screen. This was new territory-unc

, wasn't this what I wanted? Something new? Something different? My ex had made me feel like I wasn't enou

el of his arms, the taste of his lips. My instincts warned

ore of his atten

I mustered the

we da

e came shar

that. What if I said no? What if I

t my scree

elationships were a mess. If you're not

ed to let them sink in. Instead of walkin

u've been hurt before, a

d in my stomach. But it was too lat

taring at my phone, hoping-

ext M

eck my phone every five seconds. Instead, I focused on maki

e sofa, scrolling through movi

d at the

ys

d. "I'm not in the right spa

ump in my throat

em. I und

slipped back into flirtation, back into lust-filled texts that sent my mind s

kend

i leaves, mixed in the waterleaf, and added the well-seasoned beef and cow

t until 8 p.m. to eat

I finally finished, I grabbed my phone again-no new messages from Jayson. Disap

I tried, I kept check

tion took over, and I

ay M

ter crowing rudely

y eyes. This rooster

tage gown before heading out to catch a tricycle to church. Th

t a plate of rice and chicken from a food vendor down

y meal, my phone

," I a

u! How's my girl doing?"

You want to

Be there in

call, another message

ys

l. How are

ch flipp

excitement when Hazel's loud kn

as I opened the door. "Lo

g my head. Hazel

responsible for thi

ed. Do I

ne in particular. Just me, moving

her eyes. She d

been talking for two months, even before I broke up with my ex. But

ace turne

dy for anything serious. If you keep this up,

but I brushed them aside. You

ng her a drink and some snacks. We tal

That

I declined-I wasn't much of a partygoer. Instead, I mad

message f

out to give up,

k has been crazy. I ba

e. Still, I replied, "It's fine. I know yo

message, my phone started

art r

nsw

ell-defined nose. Golden-brown eyes that

he said. "Le

di

with a look I couldn't quite place

ike

s exhausted and needed sleep. After we hun

ed, stretching before

l asleep dreaming

son An

n I refused to