How to bake a scandal
Sutt
Chit-Chat Weekly gave me another trash assignment: *Top 10 Cat Memes That Made Grandmas Cry Over TikTok*. Four years of col
ker like a dying smoke alarm. "Get over here or I'
Now my DMs? Flooded with angry emojis from a lawyer whose profile pic was his golden retriever in a t
me, at least Judge Judy's 12 Instagra
clicked like gunshots-same rhythm as the day she'd fire
she said. "Dig
e tech guy? The one you..." *Dated*. The office Slack s
he still looked like the type to Venmo request you for half a fries. My student loan
r paperclipped inside. "He'll talk to you." Her eyes fli
draft-*Do Billionaires Use Toilet Paper?*-stared f
t if this backfires
keyboard. "Remember when you got sued for calling that influen
uttered. "And this isn't a TikTok r
her car floor. "Wear this. It says 'I'm d
or doors groaned like they'd murder me first chance they got. My phone buz
urned holes in my thrifted
vator d
-
les and leather that probably cost more than my life savings, but it s
om his laptop. "I do
. It's a... lifestyle piece. What billion
witched.
bbies. Normal p
You write about toilet paper
brick. "Because Forbes thinks you're a cy
you'll twist it
's hon
never a
ll sign whatever
the corner. "Page four: No
d charred crust. Ethan scowled at
ould end wars," I said, lea
day." The timer beeped. He yanked the loaf out too f
res. "Looks like my cr
smiled.
I snapped a photo, captioning it: *When life gi
: *IS THAT HIS BREAD
an hour later: *You'r
umbs dusting
t not pay
, it tas