The Life and Adventures of Maj. Roger Sherman Potter

ide to side, as if in search of food. They were followed at a short distance by a tall, square shouldered man, dressed in the homespun of the country. He carried a pair of steelyards ove

n trumpet, so grating was it, "If you kill my shoats, neighbor peddler, them tin traps of thine shall suffer as will not be good." The major now reined up old Battle, and throwing down the reins, dismounted, and began parleying with the swine driver as to the value of his drove. "I

rawed by the sternness of the swine driver's manner, and the terseness of the monosyllables with which he answered questions that were subsequently put to him. He had a face, too, that wore an expression grave enough for a Scotch metaphysician, and was long enough and heavy enough for a Penobscot Indian; and to which was a

interjaculated he

ing up his features, as he extended his right hand, and patted the swine driver good naturedly upon the shoulder with h

litics," moodily muttered the swine driver

as conciliated the good that is in the dog, and now the dog is his firm friend. He will let that pig have the better half of his meal, while he would not permit another to come within barking distance of his trough." Here the swine driver entered upon a history of this sagacious animal, which it will be necessary to preserve for a future chapter in this history. It may, however, be well here to say, as well for the benefit of the reader as for the instruction of mankind in general, th

e to produce this sadness?" inquired the facetious major, add

aw hat from his head, he wiped the sweat from his safron-colored brow, and heaved a sigh. The major having introduced me to the herdsman as the greatest politician Cape Cod had ever given the world, drew forth his never failing flask, which he said contained a panacea for all ills of the mind, and enjoined him to partake. The man exhibited no timidity in accepting the invitati

urdened with grief," said he, his eyes filling with tears, as he wiped the sweat from his sun-burned brow, "for it seemed as if the whole church had turned its back upon me, and so many were the plans laid to effect my downfall, by those who should have held me up, that even the mantle of St. Peter could not have saved me. Thus, it was said that I had made too free with my housekeeper, who, in some things, was a good enough woman, but (and it was well known to the parish), little could be said for her virtue. Heaven knows I had never in my whole life permitted an evil thought

age of Pennsylvania," resumed he of the sorrows, "and having neither trade nor friends, I thought to get my living by teaching school; but the shafts of scandal followed me, and the honest and simple-minded villagers thought it wise not to have their children taught by one who had attempted the virtue of an innocent. I saw nothing but to take to politics, which I did much against my sense of self respect, it being a profession requiring those who followed it to live a vagabond life, as well as to become the associate of vagabonds and mischief making priests. I took a strong part in a presidential campaign" ("Jist like me," interrupted the major), "and being on the successful side, as wise men always are, I went to Washington in the hope that my services would be rewarded by a grateful government. But in this there was a mistake, for the government seemed to have forgotten every thing but the slanders against my character; and though the hussy whose oath had sealed my doom was removed to Washington, where she was atoning for her outraged virtue by practicing the arts of the fair but frail, it neither lessened the sting of my misfortunes, nor restored me my charact

dare probe. Telling her I had rather join the brigands in the hills of Lombardy than accept her gold, I at once turned my energies to writing speeches for members of Congress incapable of writing their own, and correcting the dictum of those made by men whose time was too much taken up at the gambling crib and drinking saloon. And for this labor, so easily performed when one possessed the ability, I was to receive five dollars a column, of the Globe. Small as was this allowance, I found great difficulty in collecting it, since members too honest to sell votes generally wrote their own speeches, and those who lacked that little virtue had so many speculations on hand as to render it quite impossible for them to find time to pay their speech writers. Howe

t dollars, for I sell them at three cents a pound, by my steelyards; and when I demanded him to make good the damage he jeered and drove on. And to make the matter worse, the cunning rogue has tricked the simple minded people into the belief that he is a man of great wisdom, which was no hard matter, seeing that he th

ers, then come boldly out and declare thyself to have sinned beyond measure, and to have been so great a reprobate that the world had not another like thee. Publish neither cards, nor pamphlets, nor books, in defence of thy character, and above all, do thou be careful not to purloin the coat and breeches of thy companion, nor go uninvited to balls, for, though it be the custom of unfortunate parsons who take to literature at this day, it will lower thee in the sight of heaven. But say, that having qualified in sin, and resolved to seek forgiveness, thou art come to lay thy implorings at the church door. Change, in the meantime, thy opinions of matrimony, and be careful to

for the dog, beside whom it had gone to sleep. The swine driver promised he would take the first opportunity of profiting by such excellent a

ach other, and strengthened over a sup from the flask. "Now, as I have made

he swine driver's pity, that I verily thought he was about to make the major a present of his whole herd, as a means of consoling his disconsolate wife. As soon, however, as the major disclosed to him his desire to purchase only the gifted pig, affairs assumed a different complexion. The swine driver declared he would not part with Duncan (such was the gifted pig's name,) for his life, seeing that he was guide pig, and could so prognosticate storms as to entirely dispense with the use of a barometer. A few more appeals on behalf of the inconsolable woman, howeve

by the steelyards, the dog in the meantime keeping up a loud barking, and threatening to make ribbons of the major's coat-tails for taking such improper liberties with his friend. "Eighty-four pounds, exactly," muttered the drover, counting the notches upon his steelyards as the major bagged his pet, who continued to give out so many squeals of distress that the sagacious dog seized the major by the broad disc of his pantaloons, and so rent them that he swore n