The thin line between black and white

tures contorted on shock"What the fuck!, You must be kidding me, I do not need a shrink ", I growled as I yanked the door of the van open glaring at her. "Courts orders, girli

, the door opened revealing Chantel, one of the young caretakers of the orphanage, she was smiling brightly as usual, Chantel was one of those people who were always so bubbly and happy "Finally! You've arrived, we've been waiting for you", Chantel said in her high pitched girl voice with a huge smile on her face, I began to get annoyed, annoyed at her for being happy, annoyed at her perfect happy life, annoyed that she probably had never had to encounter the kind of shit I had passed through, annoyed that my life could not be more like hers, happy and content, annoyed that I didn't deserve to go through any

I was still admitted in the hospital, I sat on the bed pulling back the hood of my hoodie."wow, you're so pretty, you look like a Disney princess",my new roommate gushed at me"I want to look like you",she continued, I grimaced at that statement, all my life my looks were always complimented, I had eyes, so obviously I knew I had very stunning genes, a present from my mum,a way to fuck up my life, at this point I was willing to trade for plainer features and body. I had a model like body, beautiful platinum blonde,almost white hair that fell past my waist,amber eyes, I never had acne , not like I even bothered with skin care, most people said that I was lucky to look so perfect but they didn't know what these "perfect like looks" had caused me. "Uhm, thanks , you're pretty too" I replied back to Marcia, my voice nearly a whisper, and I immediately turned my back to her facing the window , I really wasn't interested in a conversation right now, I just wanted to knock back some pills and slip into oblivion, but even that was gone, Mrs Greene was very thorough in frisking my things before moving them over here, despite the cold temperature, I was sweating, my pinky finger jerking , the withdrawals had started, I needed something , something strong, to help me forget, Xanax or something, I crept out of bed, Marcia too busy to notice me leave, I padded silently to the medication room, where I knew I would find something to last me for a few days, at most weeks, as I turned the hand of the door, grateful that they had not locked it yet, I slipped in, my eyes widely searching for any sort of pill I could take, I spot

t out a sigh,a sigh of relief, I didn't have to deal with Peter anymore at least for now, I didn't need to lock my doors while I slept for now. For now I could act like a girl that had not been ass

ed in recognition,"Fuck, Rash, what the hell are you doing here" I asked in shock as my grip on the knife released and I begun to lower it."I returned back to the orphanage a while after I was told you left, to look for you, yunno, it was so childish of me then, but I was told that the court had cleared your mum and you went back to her, I searched for you really,but I couldn't find you, it was like you went missing without a trace, and my family, they were so nice, they helped me, but I'm turning eighteen in five days time Audrey, I had to come clear all the documents, making a trip from Arizona to New York isn't child's play. I'm staying in the guest room. Fuck, Audrey, you look so beautiful, you look different, I always knew you'd be beautiful but this, wow", Rashiel rambled on, I was still in shock, my best friend of all these years, I had basically forgotten him, I was convinced that he had found a new home and forgotten about the pacts and promises we made. I dropped the knife back, muttering something about needing to go back upstairs as I brushed passed him his hand grabbed my wrist and reflexively I covered my face "What the fuck Audrey?, You know I won't hurt you, what happened when you went home, why are you back here?", Rash looked aty face searching for answers, I grabbed my hand back snapping the rubber band,"don't touch me ", I muttered,"And also don't think you can suddenly act like things haven't changed, things changed the day you left and I never heard from you for a year, things changed when you abandoned me here, when you ignored all my letters and calls, so don't fucking walk in here, acting like we are still best friends and we are still do naive that we don't know

me this morning, I picked myself up and ran all the way back to the orphanage. When I arrived, the kids were having breakfast, I sighted Rashiel talking with Chantel at the kitchen counter, I rolled my eyes at the flirtatious grin on his face, determined to slip in without them noticing, just as I was about to turn the corner into the hallways, "Audrey!" I heard a booming voice from behind me, I jumped in surprise as if I had been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to, I turn slowly to face Hildegarde, my body dripping with sweat, her eyes appraised me till they came to the bandages on my wrist and her gaze softened, rage filled me at the pity in them, I didn't want to be p

ttack, daily night terrors, daily runs in which I pushed myself to my break

dge, not bothering to use a cup and drinking directly from the carton."You know , time may pass, but you've still not changed, drinking from the carton and packing all the beef jerky in your beef sandwich" Rashiel chuckled , I swallowed the sandwich I was chewing and turned to face him."Rashiel, I think I've made it clear that I don't want to play catch up with you, what do you want from me?",I sighed taking another swing of the juice, just to keep my hands busy."