The Nervous Housewife

And Her Hous

ds. The aspirations, the ideals, the yearnings of the girl attach themselves to some man as their fulfillment; the chivalrous feelings, the desire to protect and cherish, the passion for beauty of the man lead to some girl as their goal. There are few for whom the glow and ardor of their young love br

hat the lover had more claims than the husband. Romance dies with marriage is the plaint of poet and novelists; the charm of woman disappears with her mystery, with possession. And the typical humorist speaks

sex as the prime and only thing of life, prudery which closes its eyes to it and makes sour faces, need special places in Dante's Inferno. Neither has dealt with reali

Further, that disillusionment follows after the excitement and heightened expectation of courtship is inevitable. Marriage at the best includes a settlement to routi

Common sense, earnestness of purpose, willingness to adjust, and a sense of humor save the situation and change the love of t

ll to some extent, there arises dissension natural wher

was the father, a sovereign either stern or indulgent according to his nature. Perhaps his wife ruled him through hi

o a kite; here she is mistress and he obeys, though nominally still head of the household. All the humorists emphasize this, and the novelist d

s name is taken, his work sustains the household, his purse supplies the means of existence, his industrial business situation determines the reside

enter into a contest for supremacy in the household. It may be settled quietly and without even recognizing its existence, on the common plan that the woman shall have charge of the home and the man of his business; it may rage with violence over

would be simply to name every possible source of difference o

he cities and industry, the development of the department store and rise of shopping as an institution, the man gave place to his wife largely because industry would not

ahead" is an insistent one, returning with redoubled force after each expenditure. He finds his entire income gone each week or month, or finds l

must have this, and we must have th

oman of even the poor and the middle classes must have her spring and autumn suits, her dresses for summer, her summer and winter hats. Her husband too must change his clothes

the newspapers, on the shine which he might easily apply himself, on a thousand and one nickels that become a muckle. The American is lavish, hates t

husband, and at the same time she wants to "keep up" with her neighbors and friends. And who sets the pace for her, for all of her group; who establishes the standard of expenditure? Not the thrifty, saving woman, not the one who mends her clothes and makes her own hats, bu

down. It makes the housework harder; it makes the relations with her husband more difficul

en the goal of life is the accumulation of money, as indeed it is with the majority. But to them that goal is

either a never-ending battle with estrangement, or else a beaten woman (for the stingy are stubborn) accepts her lot with a broken spirit, sad and de?nergized. Or perhaps, it shou

ney. But I have in mind several patients who would be happy if this never-ending problem were settled. The struggle "g

artled spirit that he is getting into middle age, that sickness and death are taking their toll of his friends, and that he has not got

she, "you would see thin

ys he, "you would not

e of the world crisis. The air is filled with the whispers that a crash is coming, though the theaters are crowded, the automobile manufacturers are burdened with orders, and the shops brazenly display the most gorgeous and e

he question of expenditure. For there is a factor not co

husband because of his failure. The husband becomes aware of her decreased admiration, and he is hurt in his tenderest place, his pride. One of the worst cases of neurasthenia I have seen in a housewife arose in such a woman, who struggled between loyalty and contempt until exhausted. For she came of a suc

ympathy in her trouble, it is certain she pres

fertile field from which nervousness

elieves his wife is too fussy about his son's manners and derelictions, secretly or otherwise he is quite pleased when his son develops into a "regular" boy,-tough, mischievous, and aggressive. But sometimes it is the overstern father who arouses the mother's

his to happen and usually they forgive it in the man who devotes himself to his family, struggles for a livelihood or better, and helps in the care of

iscourtesy outweigh a lifetime of devotion. This is part of a feminine devo

up their "freedom" to play consort and escort, sooner or later they sink back into finding their recreation with their male friends,-at club, lodge, saloon, pool room, etc. When night comes they are restless. At

p, in a never-broken companionship between man and wife. This is distinctly unhealthy for the man, for he requires in his recreation the sense of freedom from restrai

or amongst her neighbors; she may leave her husband and get a divorce; she may become unfaithful on the basis that turn abo

lief that a child would hold her husband home. If she is failing in the freshness of her beauty she makes a pathetic effort to hold her indifferent mate through cosmetics and beauty specialists. Without the c

the past, have tended to make. She has not been taught, she has not the power, to stand in life alone; she is the clinging vine to the man's oak, she is the traditional woman. She is h

an's life a

n's whole

ss apt to bring failure and disaster. For neither man nor woman should love be the

and city hospitals, where once every Sunday morning found a dozen or two of raving men; to witness the disappearance of alcoholic insanity from our asylums, where once it constituted fifteen per cent of the male admissions; to see cruelty to children drop to one tenth of its former incidence; to know that former drunkards are steadily at work to the joy of their wives and the good of their own souls,-this is to make one bitterly impatient with th

mental anguish, though her whole life was ruined by drink. But for the refined woman who married a clean, clever young fellow only to have him come home some day reeking of liquor,-silly, obscene, helpless

s, the airship, radium, and the X-ray could think intoxication with its literal poisoning funny, could mak

siness, and rebellion against it, petty jealousies and stubbornness,-these are the basic elements in discord. Children quarrel about trifles, children are unreasonably jealous, children fight fo

hfulness put together. The education of American women is certainly not tending to eradicate these defects, which are not necessarily feminine, from her character. In the domestic

ons and grievances, many a woman finds her disagreeables a burden too much for her "nerves." That a phi