The true me

OLIVIA

I was having a hard time believing what was going on right now. It was meant to be my happy moment. It was meant to be the best moment of my life, but instead, it was more than I could imagine. Mateo stared at me like I was some dirt he was just helping. We were all at an after-party organized to celebrate our graduation, and I went over to kiss him as my boyfriend, but he pushed me away, followed by a look of disgust.

"What's going on, Mateo?" I asked, confused.

"Don't call me yours, pig!" He hissed, and that stung. He just called me a pig. I'd heard that so many times, but never from him. What changed? What happened to him? What did I do wrong? I was so confused that the heartache I was feeling couldn't be explained.

"Please don't do this to me, please," I said with hot tears in my eyes. "I beg of you."

He glared at me. "I'm using this medium to break things off with you, sweetheart. You think it was easy being with someone like you? I only dated you because I was forced to. It was never by choice."

That statement stung badly. The laughter around me irked me so much. I was so embarrassed. He was embarrassing me, and he was enjoying it. I gave him a look in my state of confusion. I was lost for words. I didn't expect something like this from him, but he did it anyway.

"Please don't do this to me," I said, and the first tears betrayed me. They poured down my cheeks. He pushed my hands off him and said, "Don't touch me!"

"How do you expect me to be with someone like you? Don't you stare at yourself in the mirror?" He yelled at me.

The laughter was too much to bear. I couldn't believe this was happening in public. This was the worst embarrassment I'd ever faced. If he had just ended things over the phone, it would have been better, but he had to bring it up at a party. He knew how much I was bullied because of my weight, and here we were, he was the perpetrator.

"I don't want you in my life, Olivia. I can never be with someone like you. I was forced to be with you because of a dare. Your sister knew about it. It was all a dare, so don't take it too seriously," he said, and I felt like the ground should swallow me.

Emma walked up to him and faced me directly. "Cut it off, Olivia. No one wants you. You should be thankful that I helped you get a boyfriend. It was worth it for a while, though," she smirked.

I gritted my teeth. "Why do you have to do this to me? Why? What did I ever do to you?"

She smirked. "I was only doing you a favor. At least you felt what a woman should feel. Instead of you thanking me, you want to fight me?"

I couldn't control the tears. The torture was too much. My heart was suffering inside. I didn't want to embarrass myself more, and I didn't want to give them something else to laugh about, so I said, "I can't do this right now. I'm out of here."

I rushed out of the party house, and I could hear their laughter. It was all a game to them. They enjoyed toying with me. What have I done to deserve this? I hate my life. I hate it so bad. I should have just died with mom. Life would have been so easier. I would have been resting in heaven. The earth is a cruel place.

****

I got home and made my way to my room. I didn't want to say anything to anyone. No one cares about me anyway. They all don't give a damn about me, so there was no need to stress. I cried myself to sleep that night, hopefully, I'll be able to get a hold of myself the next morning.

***

I woke up to a knock on the door. I was grumpy and didn't want to get up. I thought it was the maid, so I answered, "Who is there?"

"Breakfast is ready. I'm sure you don't want to miss it," said my stepmother.

I took a pillow and threw it at the door. I'm sure she heard the sound because she was chuckling. This is what they do every time. She and her daughter, Emma, make it so unbearable for me to stay in this house. They make fun of my weight at every opportunity they get. They don't care about the inner turmoil they are causing. They don't care about my feelings. It's so unfair that they get to laugh about my condition.

I didn't want to be this fat.I didn't want to be this big. I couldn't control how my body changed. I'd tried so many things to help reduce the weight, but it wasn't helping. What do they want me to do? Kill myself because I'm fat? Dad doesn't even care about me. I couldn't remember the last time we spoke as father and daughter. I couldn't remember at all.

I got up and went to freshen up. I didn't want to be seen as a loser. I changed into something casual and went downstairs to have breakfast.

***

They were all seated and were already eating. No one cared about me here. Emma rolled her eyes at me when she saw me. At the sight of me, they all got up one after the other. The man I called my father also got up, but before he did, he said, "Try to lose some weight."

That statement hurt me so much. They said it so many times, like they didn't know the struggle I went through to lose this weight. Dad was aware of my condition. He was aware of what the doctor said, but still acted as if he didn't know anything.

My heart sank. I'd just gotten dumped last night, and now my own family saw me as a pig. They didn't want to be in the same environment as me. What had I done to deserve this? What had I done?

I lost my appetite entirely and ran upstairs, but on my way to my room, Emma blocked my path and stood in front of me.