The Chronicles of a Survivor

than other. Wait there I go, leaving you in the dark about my life again! Hold my hand, I know the first chapter was a little bit teary but that was not even the

could sleep, I was in and out of it. My eyes were practically shut until I felt someone touching me, touching my lifeless body, I felt someone putting their hands by my vagina and I felt someone taking a condom and putting it on and penetrating me, I never consented, nor did he ask. I only realised at age 20, that this was indeed rape. At the time, I never even realised I had just been raped. Rule number one of consent: never sleep with a girl who is not in the right state of mind to consent to sexual activities. It is considered rape, and you must understand that consent is not able to be given when you are intoxicated. When you are not sober. Anyways, men never really understand what consent entirely means. It is just their satisfaction that they need to achieve, in fact many men are not educated on the atomy of a women's body. They do not understand that for us to achieve a climax, we need to feel safe, we need to fully be involved emotionally, we need to have our bodies connect with our souls. However, this conversation can be kept for another time. Any goosebumps yet? no? yes, well just hold on tight. As I said in the above that social media became my daily bread, I could not live or breath without the validation that came from social media. Group chats had become a popular norm amongst teenagers that time, whether it was promotions group chats, social group chats, school group chats, they were all popular. These group chats would have a range of 50-250 people in them, from different occupations, from different towns, different ages, different races, different genders, different sexualities. I was placed in a particular group chat. I thought it was safe, I hesitated to send my pictures because people would have malicious comments if you were not what society wanted you to look like. Many girls were beautiful in the group chat, which also made feel intimidated as if no one would want me. No one would see me, however I made sure to make a mark on the group and become someone I was not. I felt that if I did that, I would be seen and heard. Real people know that you do not have to be someone that you are not to be seen and heard, being yourself is enough for you, and whoever feels it should carry themselves out your life. I met some character that have built who I am, some who have taken so much out of me. Those who have taken and have never given anything back to me, my heart sometimes bleeds because I always feel like I give so much to people, and wholeheartedly. Never half stories or little. However, they never give me back. I understand the universe gives us lessons to make us stronger in terms of people, but I feel like I have gotten my fair share of humans who have destroyed, taken, and left me to pick up the pieces. Anyways, with this group chat you are bound to meet different people. Grow friendships, start relationships you know whatever happens when people come together in a relational orientated setting. I met so many people that have brought value to my life, some that have become my biggest scar, some that have become the best thing the universe could have ever given to me. I am going to use names that are not real, for my protection. I met someone called, pear. Pear had this mean boy persona that made me feel as if I would be the coolest girl had he given me the attention that I needed at the time. Pear dated my friend, Grape. Grape and pear had a fall out, broke up and left each other. Pear and I were also not on good terms as we always wanted to have the last word, I was a girl who never gave in. Stubborn and mean is what I would describe it. Pear and I eventually reconciled. My parents were out of town, and it was just me, my sister, and her best friend, two other males who were my sister and her best friends' boyfriends. I of course was the one who had no one which made me feel lonely and unwanted, as if something were missing in me. I told pear he should come over, and yes, we did have a sexual flirtish chat. I mean it was the in thing at that given moment, if you were a virgin at the time society would have you and state that "nobody is a virgin, sex is fun and courageous you should try it." Pear had come over, I wore the most mini skirt I could find in my cupboard, iron maiden shirt and a cardigan. I was a little smaller than, so I considered myself thick than. He came, and we had a little chat about him and grape. As we spoke, he then put his hand onto my melanin thighs, caressed them and untired my skirt buttons. His hands were cold and rough, I never thought much of it I was sixteen why woul