Lost moments

CONNOR'S POV

I've been mentally exhausted lately and unable to live life as I should.

Thinking has been something I can't overcome.

(phone rings)

I turned to the other side of my bed to pick the call and it was my boss Mr Harris.

As I picked the phone from the floor and took it to my ear, I said hello with a bit of confusion and tiredness.

“Mr Harris?”

“Ah, there you are, Connor,” he spoke as if he were in pain or something.

“What do you want?” I asked impatiently, I didn't know why I was getting called down to work this early but whatever his problem was it sure wasn't going to be my fault.

“It's your friend Sarah, Connor, she seems sick,” Mr Harris paused for what seemed like forever before continuing,

“I'M NOT SICK! I JUST FEEL LIKE LOSING A FEW FEET,” I could hear the annoyance seeping into Sarah's voice on the other line.

“And you don't know how that happens?” I ask sarcastically.

“Yes, Connor, yes I do. In fact I've been diagnosed,” she huffed at me, sounding like she was about to snap.

“Well, can you tell her that she can wait until another day, when it's actually afternoon where I'm not just waking up in the middle of winter,” I replied with a slight bite to my words.

“That won't work, She's just overreacting because she misses her ex boyfriend so much.

You need to go over and bring her some breakfast, I don't think she has had anything to eat.” My boss replied

"I'm not missing that monster, I told you I've been diagnosed and I'm not acting out" She yelled from the background

“No sir,” I say simply, ending the conversation before I can get fired.

I put the phone back on the receiver and lay back down on my bed.

Some part of me wanted to really attend to Sarah and make sure she's alright but again I just don't want to, neither do I want to go to work and besides she does this almost all the time to get me to work when she clearly knows I can't come.

I knew I should have gone to work today, but I had a feeling that I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyways, I've not been concentrating at work for a long time now. Infact I've not been able to concentrate on living at all for a while now.

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

As I showered a lot of thoughts came flashing through my head, the fact that I'm a single Twenty five years old and also the thoughts of my Happiest Moments kinda flashed through my head afterwards.

You may wander, when was my happiest moment?, well it was when I was in this dreamy relationship with a guy named Jeff.

Jeff was a really sweet guy, a great actor when it came to showing affection.

He would always remind me how beautiful I am and how he loves the fact I embrace my masculine side and how he can't take his eyes off my beautiful brown eyes.

He was the sweetest and my first real boyfriend.

The other thing I remember fondly, however, is when we were walking home from the grocery store one afternoon and he kept talking on how much he loved being around me and how I'm different from his exs.

“I love being with you, it makes me feel alive,” he explained to me.

“Yeah? How come?” I blushed

“Because you make me feel happy, when we walk together I see all kinds of happiness spread over your face to crown it all you are not a boring person” he continued.

I looked at him shyly and said,

“you really mean that?”

He nodded his head excitedly, looking back ahead and smiling at the street.

That is actually one of my happiest moments, just being with him and hearing him tell me how important I was to him.

I Never thought I would be important to anyone except Heidi, seriously, but the moment Jeff came into my life he made me realize I too can be important to someone, I too can be special and wanted.

One of the things that attracted me to Jeff was his physique, he was a tall handsome guy who could make anyone fall in love with him any day of the week.

His chisled jaw looked well crafted and his chest was a sight to behold.

I also remember seeing him shirtless for the first time while walking along the beach and thinking how beautiful he was.

That day we went out on our second date and I picked the beach because I love the beautiful sight. I actually had a lot of fun that day and I would want to experience that again.

Jeff made me happy even though he was a bit of a cheat and I guess it's probably one of the reasons that he broke up with me after a few months.

I felt insecure telling him how I felt about his cheating behavior because I know that I couldn't live without him or I thought I wouldn't.

After everything I experienced with Jeff, I hoped for it not to change, I hoped we stayed together forever, I didn't want him to leave me but unfortunately he did and here I am showering alone in my bathroom and I might probably end up alone but who cares.

*********

Immediately I was done with my shower, I dried off, and dressed myself. My hair was dripping wet with the water that hit my back, but that's the only reason I was bothered by the weather.

I decided to put on a pair of black jeans, a black hoodie and headed downstairs.