In Search of Redemption

everything in order. I smiled just imagining the surprised face he would make. Even though we had been dating for many years, I had never given myself to him. This would be my first time. We had g

ake away the attention that was being paid to him. But I didn't know how, it felt like I was dream

ad the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen? Big green eyes that stared at me with an intense glow... I don't know if it's my imagination, but it seemed that his eyes transmitted a lot of love, they seemed to release sparks of

I felt for him fairly... I don't know... Maybe an eternal emotion... A love that understands absence, that doesn't fall apart with time. And for some reason I knew it was the same he felt for me. But the strangest thing was that I had never seen him before and yet it was as if we had known each other for a long time, as if we could com

loss. Then with a look I said goodbye and knew that I would meet him again. His eyes promised me that, while my h

emely comforting and pleasant. It took me a while to realize that I was lying on the ground. I got up and absent-mindedly dusted off my clothes and started walking.

e anything! Why was I lying there? Why couldn't I remember? Doubts started going through my head... Was I one of those people who had no home,

ther I was invisible or they were too insensitive to realize how lost I was. Everything was so strange there. Everything seemed like a dream. I felt a strange sensation of unreality, everything was so different... Even the trees seemed to bloom in a purposefully perfect way. There was a natural swimming pool where children of vario

surprised me to realize that despite her gr

t the same instant she turned around and seem

n the bench. I obeyed. I was about to introduce myself, when I remembered that I didn't k

y tell me what

ause she must have thought I was a lunatic. After all, it

hat... Well, I'm not sure, but I seem to h

t's just that we're not in a city. Not like you imagin

? But even if so it would have to be in some

er eyes and then she looked at me wit

still don

k what she was talking

ther who is talking t

out. Why hadn't I noticed them before? The man was a gentleman, also gray

ild, he will be a

grateful to get away from that woman. I didn't like bein

e a perfect scenery... too perfect to be real. Everything seemed to be purposely placed there to deceive and enchant. No one could deny that it was a beautiful setting and that in a way, it was so pleasant that you didn't want to leave it. But this could have been done exactly so that people wo

r not to interrupt the conversation, and somehow he realized my presence and with a gesture, asked me to wait. I then stood at a certain distance, watching the two of them talk. It was all so strange! I could un

Actually, I didn't mind, imagining that she might be jealous, after all I had already received several hostile looks because of my appearance that always attracted the

startled. It was the gray-haired gentleman. He smiled gentl

again. You have a

t like seeing her again. But it was just a very shy, almost u

curb my words. What did I care who she wa

" He replied as if tha

h ye

ouldn't come right away, however now I am at your disposal, come, let's sit down to talk more comfortable.

't mind I don't want to sit down, I just want

ll your questions an

y do you act like you ha

is Antonio, and yes, I am responsible for the brothers

my memory is playing tricks on me, some things I remember and other things I don

s if he could see

have to tell you is something of vital

n't he tell me right away what that seat was?

want to get out of here! I guess I was

n you understand or believe what I have to tell you if you are so impatient? Then you w

entire being, it was so natural that it was almost palpable. Without another word I decided to sit down, and he followed me silently. It seemed, or I felt, I don't know for sure, that he was sad, t

condition and actual state

en turned his face and stared at some

you will never get sick again.

filled with tears. When I managed to stop myself, I accepted the handkerchief he kindly

ey are having fun in a pool, with no one to watch and protect them?

nger. Just like you, not

f?" I asked, staring at him indignantl

hat happened to you.... You just need to accept it... Actually being scared

thing! Why don't yo

why don't you try to accept and resig

s. What was he

a thought nagging at me that instead of passing through my brain first to be evaluated and proce

rl, who had looked at me in a hostile way, reappeared out of nowhere and I watched her as she approached. She was really very beau

. My eyes filled with tears of indeterminate guilt. I shook my head and began to seriously consider the possibility that I was crazy. And there could be a mental hospital. How could a girl I had never seen before arouse such feelings of guilt? And after all, why so much resentment? At first I thought it was because of my appearance, but it made no sense. She is beautiful! There was no reason for all th

e hate me so

different truth than yours, she just like

what's wrong with me, and you speak as if it i

swer me, but stopped himse

s the answer to

ng, but saw nothing but someone approaching.

his funeral myself. I shed tears over his coffin. Then a flash of confused memories flashed through my mind, but I chased them away with the arrival of my beloved father. The emotion was too great to think of conjectures at that point. If I was delirious or crazy or dreaming that was! I wanted to stay like this forever. I reached out to him and threw myself into his arms and was greeted with a st

ath

, my

d? Weren't you h

Of course I'm glad to see you again! It'

rstand. Why do

er and looked con

ent Geisa told me she had woken up, I was in

in the pool. Now she was there, leaning between daddy's legs, also watching me, like a shy child. She reminded me of someone... But who? I turned my gaze to Dad and the comparison was

My parents... My fiancé... My mother calling our attention not to play in the rain, the rush to get ready to go to school, the happiness for the birth of the newest member of the fa

é. We were going to get married and never fought. We had a perfect and unique relationship... And today, thinking about all that I have been through I realized something that before had gone unnoticed, Julio was always with me. In the best and worst moments. In my graduation, in the parties, in Claudio's wedding, in the big and difficult decisions, in Geisa's funeral and years later, in Dad's as well. They were irreparable losses for the whole family. Mom almost went along... But the years went by and the pain turned into longing. Suffering was no longer the predominant characteristic in the fami