Rise of Queens

ant my mate to be scared of me. I want her to love me and me to love her back in return. This wasn't what I planned at all. I have been trying to get her to talk for the past ten minutes, but she was

tery got tossed out and we were turned to omegas. We were treated as slaves and we saw hell, now I took an action by myself and you're telling me crap about a stupid goddess who couldn't even save Alpha James. Don't feed me the crap. I don't need the goddess and I for one, don't care about her at all. Don't blame you, you probably grew up with a silver spoon and you don't know what life as an omega entails. It's easier for you to say stuff about how a goddess makes the best decision. Maybe my parents dumping me was a great decision she helped them make too. In fact, I'm getting out of here and this pack. I fucking want to see the Alpha and he should let me go. I'd rather die as a rogue than spend the rest of my life with y0u" She screamed in my face and for the first time, I felt like a failure. All of these could have been prevented if I had gone in search of her instead of waiting for her to come to me. I don't what broke my heart more, the fact that she had to go through all of these alone. I felt for her I wish I could take away all of her hurt. I couldn't and I hated the fact that she canceled me without getting to know me. She didn't stop throwing things at me and I stepped out for a moment. This was beyond my control already. I told the nurse on duty to sedate her till she was calm again and we would have another decent conversation. I walked back to the pack office feeling dejected, I couldn't get the fact that my mate didn't want me and she probably won't want me out of my head. It hurts too much to even think of it. I wanted to be there for her every step but she wasn't letting me. Francis walked past me to go on patrol duties before he squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, this was way more than we thought. I came back later to watch her sleep, I wished it was this easy for all of us. In less than twenty-four hours, she has made a dent in my life already. She had a nightmare earlier and watching the CCTV footage of how she pleaded for a certain Alpha not to kill her shredded me into pieces. She didn't deserve any of this, no human deserves to go through things like this but this life was unfair to everyone. I wanted to hold her in her sleep and watch her take each breath like they were precious but I was scared of her reaction. I didn't want to scare her off, I wanted to take things slowly with her. We are going to be together forever and there's no need to rush things. She tossed around and when she finally opened her eyes, my breath hitched. I was supposed to go out of there so I don't trigger another of her episodes but I couldn't bring myself to walk out. I wanted to be there for her during every stage. She wasn't letting me do this for her, she wasn't allowing me to be there for her. It hurts more than anything else and I don't know what to do. I hated my helplessness more than I hated the fact that I could only stare at my mate after years of waiting for her. I took the seat close to the bed and I watched her shift uncomfortably, I didn't like the feeling one bit. I was going to do this with her slowly and I really hoped it worked out. I tried to take her hand and this time she didn't flinch away from me. She stared at me emotionless, as if she couldn't care what else would happen. When I touched her, she didn't react like she did the first time and my heart clenched. I proceeded without getting discouraged. Not even this neutral facade would