Farewell Love!

Italian garden, where white statues gleamed amidst green leaves, and where all day long one could listen to the laughing waters of fou

Piazza dei Gerolomini. The girls were very fond of Villa Caterina, and their father, Francesco Acquaviva, had been very fond of it. He had named it for his wife. It was here that the couple had passed all

she might experience a change of soul. The broad light and ceaseless murmur of the sea would calm her and str

he passed long hours in silent meditation, her eyes fixed vaguely upon the air; when spoken to, she would start

in the things that used to please her. She was very gentle, very kind to everybody. To Cesare Dias she showed an unfailing tenderness. She was often silent before him. When he

a great comfort, and, at the same time, a great pain. She wrote at great length, confusedly, with the disorder and the monotony of a spirit in distress; and as she wrote she would repeat her written phrases aloud, as if he were present, and could re

d she expect him to, indeed? Had he not

a calm judicial mind, amused at their "rhetoric," and forbore to answer them. He went less frequently to her house than formerly. They were rarely alone togethe

ish me to do?"

to be merr

she said, drooping her eyes

aring a scen

ssed to himself that he would not be able, as s

day, in May, she wrote him a letter of farewell; she would never write again; it was useless, useless. She bade him farewell;

replied at once, saying he thought the change of air would be capital for Anna. They had best leave at

"Dias has w

" aske

can't come to bid us go

usy. Will you gi

saw that Anna's hand was trembling as it h

ery kind,"

les on the la

ked out upon the sea and let in the sunlight, and she moved from corner to corner, taking note of the dust on the furn

a as

going to

id not

" said the wise Minerva, and went off

Anna?" ask

l up there,"

is she

ying, or thinkin

a," sighe

irgin and the portrait of her mother? No one disturbed her. She

the windows and locked the door,

there too long. It

I am so much better. I am glad we have com

metimes she would get up and go to the door of Anna's room. There was always a light burning within. Two or thre

light burning at night?

am afraid o

f the lamp had the semblance of a wreck slumbering at the bottom of the sea. Sometimes, hearing Stella's footsteps, Anna opened her eyes and smiled upon her; then relapsed into her stupor. For it was not sleep; it was a sort of bod

d mornings, in the evenings that palpitated with starlight, every window and balcony had its special fascination. But Anna saw and felt nothing of all this; her mother's room alone attracted

a-An

nswered, starting

ay; it i

m co

it was necessary to ca

them with dark circles under her eyes, her lips colour

ng to be of help to her. She tried to persuade

stay so long. It

red. "If you knew th

ught to wish for the excitem

garet," quoted Anna, going to the

spirits. Laura and Stella did not interfere with her, but it saddened them to witness her decline. Stella's anxiety was almost motherly. When she s

come here for a visit. But he's delaying a litt

at all," replied Anna, her eye

nd he has promis

ve it," Anna a

e protected from the sun by blue and white striped awnings, which fluttered in the afternoon breeze like the sails of ships. At night the moon bathed houses, country, and sea in a radiance dazzling as snow. Anna, in the midst of all this merriment, this health and beauty, felt only the more profoundly a great longing to end her life. It was seldom now that she so much as moved from one room to another. In the evening, when

d-I have guessed." And in the kiss which Stella gave her, before going out, on the evening of the 17th of July

" Stella said, and her kiss seeme

ra too came and kissed her. And then she heard the carriage drive away. Anna left the drawing-room and went out upon the terrace. There was a full moon; its light was so brilliant one might have read by it. There was someth

er easy-chair, wi

ng," said C

look at him, and she did so with such an expression of deso

ughtful. He drew up a chai

o see me, Anna? Didn

had forgotten. It is

p my promise,

red: when she was ill, when they thought she was going to die. So it was pity for one threatened wit

cured you," he said, bendi

ing. I think I shall never be cured. There i

who can do you any good-

garette-case, took out

g flame of his match, and

voice. "But you know I am a weak creature. That is why you ha

you s

ved itself stronger than I. It is destroy

ir of the night, watching the

of abnegation, of sacrifice, of unrequited love, has come to nothing! Those pla

lans were based upon absurdities. Perhaps there are people in the world who are so perfectly made that they can be contented to love and not be loved in return; they are fortunate, they a

its arms nervously with her hands, and s

ew away his cigarette

nlight cover

ort of writing to you. I left Naples, and came here, far from you-from you who were, who are my light, my life. In vain, I have passed whole days here, praying to my mother and to the Madonna to free me from these terrible, heavy, earthly chains that bind me to that longing to be loved, and that are killing me. No use

asked, "And what do y

thi

thi

l is ended; all is over. Or, rat

u, it grieves me t

gant. I know it. I am paying dearly for my folly; ah, the expiation is hard. It is all due to my one mistake

it all to en

t the simplest s

ha

o rest for ever, under th

t. People don'

h, who have not been loved enough. It is in those maladies of the heart, where the heart bursts with emotion or dries up with despair. It is in those long an?mias which destroy the body fibre by fibre, sapping its energies. It is in that nervousness which makes people shiver with cold and burn with insupportable heat. Oh, no one dies suddenly of love. We die slowly, slowly, o

ourself

they well up from my soul of their own accord. I am an absolutely desperate woman, but I am calm, I shall always be ca

then you have hoped for something. For w

cried. "That you

hat I ask it with sympath

illed me with delight, from the moment when first the words you spoke, whether they were hard or kind, scornful or friendly, seemed to engrave themselves upon my spirit, from the moment when I first realised that I was yours-yours for life, from that moment I have hoped that you

ly, looking off upon the broad shi

n into a torpor. But now you rouse me from it. My heart throbs as if you had reopen

do you torment yo

d tastes had bred differences of feeling. In a hundred ways, voluntarily and involuntarily, you showed me that love did not exist for you, either that you would never love, or, at any rate, that you would never love me. I read my sentence written in letters of flame on my horizon. And yet, you see, in spite of the b

tell

u with all my strength, but in silence; I would live with you, loving and following you like a fond shadow. Every hour, every minute, I would be able to offer you unspoken, but eloquent proofs of my love. I would be your satellite, circling round you, drinking in the light of my sun. I would watch my chance to do for you, to serve you, to make you happy. And in this way, never asking f

me to marry yo

ant-whatever you wish will suffice for me. To be

he said, col

but I am dy

, Anna. It freezes one'

on't ask you to love me.

never ask

ev

omi

romi

old most sacred, w

er me; by my affection for my sister Laura; by the holiest thing in my heart, that

lain of me, and

I will regard you as m

et me live

. You shall dispose of

come and go, without finding f

await in patience the ha

is mind, and he hesitated to ask it. But with burning eyes,

me with jealousy?

out her arms and beating her brow wit

ease and offend you. I am making demands that are b

away. She moved toward

ousy. Do you wish me to visit the woman you're in love with, or have been in love with, or the woman who's in love with you? Do you wish me to receive the women who are you

heart-free, that is

ou will always be-free i

will seem terrible, for I can only decline, while you will grow to maturity. In your imagination you have conceived an ideal of me which doesn't correspond to the truth, and which the future will certainly correct, to your sorrow. Between our characters and our temperaments there is a profound gulf; we have no reason to believe that th

ved; his brow was knitted; and on it, for the first time, Anna could read a secret distress. There was something almost like shyness in his eyes;

at you wish. I have told you cruelly, brutally, what I shall expect from you in return from my sacrifice. I have repeat

nds on the parapet of the terra

ho are so wise, so cold, who despise all passion, as you do-why are you

f saving you; because Stella Martini has written to me saying that

that you are willin

replied, not wishing to

ty," she said humbly, cros

was looking at the sky as if she wished to read there the word of her destiny. But in her heart and

, what have

thout you I should die. Anything is

wife and my friend,

ve," and she k

kissed devotedly the wall of the terrac

s, the geraniums, the jasmine-buds, and pressed them to her bosom in a mass, because they had listened to her talk with him. And before

as sitting up for Laura and Stella nodded in the anti-ch

ough the house, and ent

you who have done this,"