The Potiphar Papers

TT

RT, A

h pa made in the parlor at Saratoga. My dearest friend, Tabby Dormouse, told me she had heard of it everywhere, and that it was ten times as absurd each time it was repeated. By the by, Tabby is a dear creature, isn't she? It's so nice to have a spy in the enemy's camp, as it were, and to hear everything that everybody

e story

least. It seems such a pity they shouldn't know what handsome dresses we really do have in this country! And I mentioned to some of the most English of ou

e, all the Englishmen I have ever met

l in dress and manner, that they might have been more willing to meet some genuine aristocra

cy, madam,-the British

me, with the pearl necklace and the opal studs, and that heavy ruby necklace (it is a low-necked dress). The dining-room at the "United States" is so large that it shows off those dresses finely, and if the waiter doesn't let the soup or the gravy slip, and your neighbor, (who is, like as not, what Tabby Dormouse, w

smitten with Mrs. Potiphar, said that he had known few happier m

sation of all the nobles, I seem to see the regular army of my beloved Sennaar investing a conquered city. This, I cry to myself, with enthusiasm, this is the height of civilization; and I privately hand one of the privates in that grand army, a gold dollar, to bring me a dish of beans. Each green bean, O greener envoy extraordinary, I say to myself, with rapture, should be well worth its weight in gold, when served to such a congress of kings, queens, and

ollar for my dinner, in addition to the little bill which I settle at the office, I thought it was equally necessary to secure my bed by a sligh

and with dignity, 'do

contrary,' and thinking it was not enough,

bing, 'you are no gentlema

ch perplexed.

adam-how much must I pa

sir,' replied the chambe

ollar for my dinner, I expect to pay Dol

with pleasure, I'm sure,' replied she, entir

of civilization has not yet mounted the stairs. It is confined to the dining-room. How beautiful is that strain from the Favorita, Miss Mi

with his experience he would be hard upon us, but he is

le. Why should I decline to have a good time at the Queen's drawing-room, because English women have no je ne sais quoi, or at the grand opera, because French women lack aplomb? Take things smoothly. Life is a merry-go-round. Look at your own grandfather, dear Mrs. Potiphar,-fine old gentleman, I am told,-rather kept in what the artists call the middle-distance, at present,-a ca

n one's teeth! But our ambassador is an ambassador. One must have the best society, an

so abominably. He quite

d that evening in the library at Mrs. Potiphar's, when he drew Cerulea Bass to the book-shelve

ft unlocked, he took down only a bit of wood, bound in blue morocco, which he turned slo

g par

pened to be passing at the moment,

y shouldn't be without. I got old Vellum to do the thing up right, you know. I guess he knows about the books to buy. But I've just laid in some claret that y

are books. Why, they might as well insist upon trying if the bloom on one's cheek, or the lace on one's dress, or, in fact, one's figure, were real. Such th

is called gentlemanly, I am very glad he is not. All the solemn, pompous men who stand about like owls, and never speak, nor laugh, nor move, as if they really had any life or feeling are called "gentlemanly." Whenever Tabby says of a new man-"But then he is so gentlemanly!" I understand at once. It is another case of the well-dressed wooden image. Good heavens! do you suppose Sir Philip Sidney, or the Chevalier Bayard or Charles Fox, were "gentlemanly" in this way? Confectioners who undertake parties might furnish scores of such gentlemen, with hands and feet of any required size,

ully to your partner; then carry your heavy heart up chamber, and drown in your own tears. Cheerfully, cheerfully, my dear

humming Il segret

ght of Newport and probable scions of nobility there, and were consoled. But while we were in the midst of the talk, and I was whispering very intimately with that superb and aristocratic Nancy Fungus, who should come in but father, walking towards us with a wearied air, dragging

d he, "I hear everybo

er looked pleased to see me so intimate with a girl he always ca

mother is goin

replied she, "one must ha

st consent to the hard necessity of fashion. "They say, Minna, that all

were all tittering inside, and every moment it became more absurd. Then out it came. Nancy Fungus leaned her head on my shoulder, and fairly shook with laughter. The others hid behind their fans, and the me

atoga conversation. Young Boosey (Mrs. Potiphar's witty friend) asked Morris au

d Morris, supposing he meant the

ustr

ery ancient and honorable Virginia families, that came out of the ark with Noah, as Kurz Pacha says of his ancestors when he hears that the founder of a family "came over with

are going to Newpor

hat's what they say. So I suppose

Noah's Ark. It was rather thin joking but it did very well for the wa

and I have been very much annoyed at it. I know it

d wit. It is the worst language I know of for poetry, ethics, and the habit of the Saxon mind. It is wonderful in the hands of such masters as Balzac and George Sand, and is especially adapted to their purposes. Yet their books are forbidden to Nancy Fungus, Tabby Dormouse, Daisy Clover, and all their relations. They read Telemaque, and long to be married, that they may pry into Leila and Indiana: their French meanwhile, even if they wanted to know anything of French literature,-which is too absurd an idea,-serves them only to say nothing to uncertain hairy foreigners who haunt society, and to understand their nothings, in response. I am really touched for this Ariel, this tricksy sprite of speech when I know that it must do the bidding of those who can never fit its airy felicity to any worthy purpose. I have tried these accomplishel damsels who speak French and Italian as well as they do English. But our conversation was only a clumsy translation of English commonplace. And yet, Miss Minerva, I think even so sensible a woman as you, looks with honor and respect upon one of that class. Dear me! excuse me! What am I thinking of? I'm engaged to drive little Daisy Clover on the beach at six o'clock. She is one of those who garnish their conversation with French scraps. Really y

minister danced

eyes around the ball room,-who laughs at the idea of such a girl as Blanche Amory in Pendennis,-who would be pensive if she were not so plump,-who likes "nothing so much as walking on the cliff by moonlight,"-who wonders that girls

(for the minister dances, and swears it is essential to diplomacy to dance well), "are you r

ding books,-of cultivating their minds; and, when they are married, minding their babies, and ministering to the drowsy, after-dinner ease of their husbands, is not the fulfilment of their powers and hopes. But, my amiable Miss Larmes, this is a class of girls and women who are not solicitous about wearing black when their great-aunt in Denmark dies, whom they never saw, nor when the only friend who made heaven possible to them, falls dead at their sides. Nor do they avoid Mrs. Potiphar's balls as a happiness which they are not happy enough to enjoy-nor do they suppose that all who attend that festivity-dancing to Mrs. P.'s hired music and drinking Mr. P.'s

morals," as she well expresses it. "A very gay, agreeable man, who glides gently over the surface of things, but knows nothing of the real

ltivate the hilarious rather than the unhappy. Diogenes, with the

in the city. Watering-place life is a full dress parade of social weaknesses. We all enjoy a kind of false intimacy, an accidental friendship. Old Carbuncle and young Topaz meet on the common ground of a good cigar. Mrs. Peony and Daisy Clover are intimate at

which, by hook or by crook, Mrs. Peony undoubtedly enjoys. Therefore, to be of Mrs. P.'s party is to be well placed in the catalogue-the chances are fairer-the gain is surer. Upon seeing Daisy Clover with quiet li

of Mrs. Peony to draw men to Miss Rosa's side. In Newport it does very well not to dance with her. But in the city it doesn't do not t

, and the father and mother are such nice, excellent people. Not exactly people t

well: and can talk intelligently about them, which puts her quite on a level with them in the estimation of her own set. She rules in the lower sphere if not in the higher, and Daisy Clover is in the way of promotion. Yes, and if she be very rich

he world." It is astonishing how intimate he is with our language and literature. By-the-bye, that Polly Potiphar has been mean enough to send out to Paris for the very silk that I relied upon as this summer's cheval de bataille, and has just received it superbly made up. The worst of it is that it is just the thing for her. She wore it at

his peculiar smile. He did not look at my dress, but

d to see spring flowers

s to mine, and I am co

I am sure, my dear Miss Tattle," he c

e immediate vicinity of the boreal pole for half an hour-a neighborhood in which, I am told, even the m

t time to the wal

t come, and there, sure enough, in the midst of a grou

boreal pole. It is glittering enough, but shipwreck by daylight up

wrecked, Kurz Pacha

to the shore. Upon the slightest symptom of an agitated sea, I furl my sails, and creep into

g his taste, perhaps, who knows?-when I saw Mrs. Potiphar. She was splendidly dressed in

sh you look to-night. Really, quite blooming! And such a s

y, "permit me, Miss Tattle,-quite a

which deserves admiration, and I flatter myself in saying so, fo

I can upon Minerva Tattle's, and, therefore, I am going to have a dress like hers. Most women would be vexed about it, and say ill-natured things if I did

t part of it, and so much handsomer

"I'm delighted with the dress. To be sure, it's r

is turn," said Boosey, and putting his arm round Mrs

omebody would come to

z Pacha, who stood by during

wered I, and h

he dancers a few minutes then turned

w little taste there

came in" warm with the whirl o

said he, in a ge

s, very warm

ong in

me, after, Saratoga for a couple o

anybody's being enthusiastic about anything. That elegant

m the hot city, and breathe this cool air. And then Natu

y,"' retu

man's, and the fort, and to go to the beach by moonlight; and then the bowling-alley, and the archery,

ot," said

ing little Daisy, folding up her fan

Timon, and, grasping her with h

"I wonder who sent Ada

klin, I presum

I. - Before he could answer, Boose

not have him introduced. They say his father a

e doesn't, M

o's who. Why Mrs. Gnu was here three summers ago, and there sat next to her, at table, a middle-aged foreign gentleman, who had only a slight accent, and who was so affable and agreeable, so intelligent and modest, and so perfectly familiar with all kinds of little ways, you know, that she supposed he was the Russian Minister, who, sh

I can't

to buy some guitar strings for Claribel, and who should advance

nderstood," said

, and though your friend may be very nice, it isn't safe for me to know him. In a country where there's no aristocracy one can't be too exclusive. Mrs. Peony says she thinks that in future she shall really pass the summer in a farm-house or if she goes to a watering-place, confine herself to her own rooms and her carriage, and look at

replied the gentlemanly Boosey

ustache and a lady fanning. They were smiling intelligently at each other, and upon his whispering something that I could n

t?" inquire

to be who was poisoned by Paris,-who mistook what was most obvious for what was most characteristic,-whose ideas of foreign society and female habits were based upon an experience of resorts, more renowned for ease than elegance,-who has no instinct fine enough to tell her that a lionne cannot be a lady,-who imitates the worst manners of foreign society, without the

rolled up

o used to skate so nimbly over the glib surface of society, and cut such coquettish figures of eight upon the characters of your friends. You must excuse me, but it seems to me odd that Miss Minerva Tattle, who used to treat serious things so lightly, should now b

t, before I could reply, up came another cou

the bowling-a

nswered

them to

es

hat do y

has sent her four bouquets, he waltzes with her every night, he bowls with her party every morning, and if that do

d with rather a flushed face, because Norman ha

to understand by

n amusing game, and hopes she is eq

ergy I never suspected in her, "and at the end of

," replied Norman. "Besides, why should yo

ether they were tears of vexation, or of disappointment. The men have the advantage of us because they can control their emotions so much better. I s

ho stood by my side, smil

ass looks at it for a moment with her hard, round, ebony eyes, and calmly wonders that people will make such fools of themselves. And you, Miss Minerva, pardon me,-you come because you are in the habit of coming-because you are not happy out of such society, and have a tantalizing sadness in it. Your system craves only the piquant sources of scandal and sarcasm, which can never satisfy it. You wish that you liked tranquil pleasures and believed in men and women. But you get no nearer than a wish. You remember when you did believe, but you remember with a shudder and a sigh. You pass for a brilliant woman. You go out to dinners and balls; and men are, what is called, 'afraid of you.' You scorn most of us. You are not a favorite, but your pride is flattered by the very fear on the part of others which prevents your being loved. Time and yourself are your only enemies, and they are in league, for you betray yourself to him. You have found youth the most fascinating and fatal of flirts, but he, although your heart and hope clung to him despairingly, has jilted you and thrown you by. Let him go, if you ca

land; when I see the universal rush and fury-young men who never smile, and who fall victims to paralysis; old men who are tired of life and dread death; young women pretty and incapable; old women listless and useless; and both young and old, if women of sense, perishing of ennui, and longing for some

f life, then?" asked I

ha smile

ustr

ons ought not to strike for a republic until they are fit for a republic-as if empires and monarchies founded colleges to propagate democracy. Probably you think it wiser that men shouldn't go into the water until they can swim. Mr. Carlyle, I remember, was bitterly reproached for grumbling in his "Chartism," and other works, as if a man had no moral right to complain of hunger until he had grasped a piece of bread. 'What do you propose to do, Mr. Carlyle?' said they, 'what with the Irish, for instance?' Mr. C. said that he would compel every Iris

ents, he added

h you, and then at you. But don't deny yourself the pleasure of saying the smart things in hope that they will also refrain. That's vanity, not virtue. People are much better than you think, but they are also much worse. I might have been king of Sennaar, but I am only his ambassador. You might have been only a chambermaid, but you are the brilliant and accomplished Miss Tattle. Tum, tum, tum, ti, ti, ti,-what a pretty waltz! Here come Daisy and Timon Croesus, and now Mrs. Potiphar and Gauche Boosey, and now again Caroline Pettitoes and De Fam

broad fields lay dark beneath, and as the music ceased, I heard the sullen roar of the sea. If my heart ached with an indefinite longing,-if it felt that the airy epicurism of the Pacha was but a sad cynicism, masquerading in smiles,-if I dreaded to ask whether the