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The Prophet of Berkeley Square

Chapter 4 THE SECRET WATERS OF THE RIVER MOUSE

Word Count: 3732    |    Released on: 28/11/2017

ng his shoulders, opening out his chest, and expanding his nostrils in an effort to fill as large a space in the atmosphere of the parlour as possible

rogress-at least on the Prophet's part-was impossible. The Prophet was now as big as the structure of his frame

hed out thoroughly, Madame

earer to the Prophet's, too

ition of Sagittarius Lodge in its own grounds beside the River Mouse at Crampton St. Peter, N.-N., I said, sir-totally and entirely unnecessary. I will go further, sir, and I will say more. You have not only done that. You have also prove

" began the Pr

sternly inte

elf, sir, I b

on my h

that you search yourself thoroughly be

s and turn out his boots. However, he sat still while Malkiel drew out a large gold watch,

sir,"

het, "on my honour that all I

ce in the Ber

ce in the Ber

nodded m

forecast and an honoured grandmother may have

ut to fall into a mournful reveri

nd. You owe it to me to explain you

sir," interrupted

r the self-sacrifice and-and the position of-of Sagittar

Malkiel in a muffled voice

he River Mous

amp

St. Pete

N

ha

Peter. N. That

. Peteren, totally and

of a family that hitherto has dwelt apart, has lain as I may say pe

the Prophet, hastily. "I would

ellybrand's has betrayed me to you. You know my name, my profe

ed into it at least a shilling's worth of "creaming foam," drained it to the dregs

founded the Almanac, l

the River Mouse?" the Proph

s that. But he lived and died in Susan Road

s," said the Pr

e forbearance of women. Madame was affected, painfully affected, by the gas, sir. It stank in

dee

weeps,

pardon!" sai

d-the

rd you

were not, in the whole roa

was entirely

ery stupid, but r

are that Susan Road lies in the most sought-after portion of

t blushed

. Of course-I unde

or lonelin

ural

nders. And so, to an extent, it was. My father had left a very tidy bit of money-a very tidy bit indeed, and we resolved

urnful superiorit

lying districts. They must not, indeed they cannot, be properly prophetic within the radius. A central atmosphere would reduce them to the level of

flowed at this almost rustic

e children-if we had any-should not grow up Eastern. It

d the Prophet, con

you see, sir, are not always in stric

realise that this question wa

n says in his The Inner Hist

clergyman would approve of," continued Malkiel. "Ye

inquired the Prophet

s the Easte

A

uld we bear to launch them in life, handicapped,

the nature of the questi

king only Arabic might well be a

we resolved to go to the north of London a

" almost crie

that eventually led our steps t

rea

now it

perso

epute, of

Prophet, who had in fact never bef

ss, sir, last Augu

red the Prophet, a

umn," continued Malkiel, with conscious

he re

fter she read about it in the paper. There were the grocer's tw

to state whether this was

Mouse we resolved that we could do no better than th

sai

, s

what

ir

the desperation that occasionally attacks ignorance

am, I fear, a very ill-informed

id Malkiel, with gentle commise

het grew

why on earth should I think of an

l district of the metropolis. F

e. I was thinking of en all the time. I be

iently to make its existence for an in

nfluence suitably the minds of the children-should we have any. For we

n the deal table and lowered hi

that. We all have our am

"Malkiel's Almanac cease! But wh

at, sir, sublime! The

y let it

he lived in these days. Had he seen Sagittarius Lodge, the children, and how Madame comports herself, he would have recognised that the family was destined to rise into a higher sphere than that occupied by any pr

that is your son-wil

kiel. "Not if Madame and I know it. No,

is surroundings, and rapt by some great vision of enchanted architects, busy in drawing plans of the magic buildings of the future ages. The Prophet felt that it would be impious to disturb him. Malkiel's reverie was long, and

rnus is to be an architect," repeate

ession than that of prophecy?" as

smiled m

t mix with prophets, but she has a 'day,' sir, on the banks of the Mouse,

dee

cts and their wive

ined the Prop

acred beings set apart, denizens of some holy isle or blessed nook of mediaeval legend. Would he ever

ompetence beside the Mouse. They do not see the telescope, sir, in the locked studio at the top of the lodge. They do not know why sometimes, on Madame's 'Wednesdays,' I am pale-with sitting up on behalf of the Alm

began to g

a prophet in the Berkeley Square, that he can read the stars with Gunter's just opposite, ay, and bring out an almanac if he likes within a shilling fare of the Circus? If this is so"-he struck the deal table violently with his clenched fist-"of what use are the sacrifices of myself and Madame? Of what use

at back in his cane chair trembling in every limb. The Prophet was deeply moved by his emotion, and longed most sincerely to assuage it. But his deep and growing c

be brave. You must se

nd noble words Malkiel lift

"One moment. The thought of Madame-the Sto

tion is always very scared and very terrible. Three minutes

sir, to

at was tightly buttoned and that his mouth was tightly set

ess?" asked

hosen to enter my life. You cannot deny that. You cannot d

rformance in the library still strong upon h

nter my life. That act has given me t

rophet, overwhelmed by the pitiless logic of hi

take from you the knowledge-denied by Madame to the very architects-of who I really am. You have told me, sir, that I m

o have taken on the peculiar properties of the gimlet. The Prophet began to feel extrem

o say nothing of Corona and Capricornus-to probe you to the core"-here the Prophet

y!" cried

sued Malkiel, "at whatever cost to myself. This

et, endeavouring vainly to seem at

The son of Malkiel the First is not a man to be trifled with or dodged. Moreover, much more than the future of

repid as he was, to avoid recoiling when he found himse

long with Madame and family, from the borders of the Mouse and reside henceforth in a central situation such as I should wish to reside in? Why should not Capricornus eventually succeed me in the Alma

to," stammere

r hitherto we have had reason to believe that all prophets-with the exception of myself-were dirty, deceitful and essentially suburba

mechanically to

f anything, sir?" s

arrived to throw off all further pretence of bravery and

ling about, sir? Why

altered th

for another glass

Prophet, desperately. "

uptly formed resolution, calle

rick S

ng librarian, appearing with suspiciou

-on hearing this ironic paradox the Prophet stood up, very much in the attitude formerly assumed by Malkiel when about to dodge

seemed about to be accurately reve

egmatically from the neck of the second bottle of c

leave us, Fre

f thoroughly exhausted by the effort of getting there, and then languidly left the parlour,

et watche

ick Smith," cried Malki

lty red, and the young li

pledge in this vintage," said Malkiel, placing on

Prophet, "I am no

that got to do with it?" retorte

ophet

s pledge-that, ti

at

lkiel, that you have ever met him, who he is, or who Madame and family are, unless I give the

ly the Pro

we

st like a British workin

the dogskin glove which, in the agitation

I shall confer at once with Madame. Till I have done this I cannot tell you what form the tests I

rds the door when it was hastily opened and

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The Prophet of Berkeley Square
The Prophet of Berkeley Square
“Based on the novel of the same title by the British writer, Robert Smythe Hichens (1864-1950), THE PROPHET OF BERKELEY SQUARE is a send-up of the astrology and psychic reading craze that so permeated London society circa 1900. With its witty dialogue and hilarious plot, Frank Morlock's adaptation of Hichens's satiric masterpiece is just as funny today as the bestselling novel was when first published in 1901. Hennessey Vivian, the would-be Prophet of Berkeley Square, must fend off his rival, Jupiter Malkiel II, to secure the devotion of enough fashionable adherents to win the prophecy "battle of the stars." The over-the-top characters are easily recognizable as familiar types in today's modern society. Great comedic drama!”
1 Chapter 1 MRS. MERILLIA IS CARRIED TO BED2 Chapter 2 MALKIEL THE SECOND IS BETRAYED BY THE YOUNG LIBRARIAN3 Chapter 3 THE TWO PROPHETS PARTAKE OF "CREAMING FOAM."4 Chapter 4 THE SECRET WATERS OF THE RIVER MOUSE5 Chapter 5 MALKIEL THE SECOND POISONS MISS MINERVA6 Chapter 6 THE OLD ASTRONOMER DISCOURSETH OF THE STARS7 Chapter 7 THE DOUBLE LIFE OF MISS MINERVA8 Chapter 8 THE PROPHET RECEIVES HIS DIRECTIONS FROM MADAME9 Chapter 9 THE PROPHET BEGINS TO CARRY OUT HIS DIRECTIONS10 Chapter 10 THE PROPHET AND MALKIEL THE SECOND CONVERSE BY TELEGRAM11 Chapter 11 MISS MINERVA OPENS HER BOOK OF REVELATION IN A CAB12 Chapter 12 THE ELABORATE MIND OF MISS MINERVA13 Chapter 13 THE PROPHET IS INTERVIEWED BY TWO KIDS14 Chapter 14 THE PROPHET JOURNEYS TO THE MOUSE15 Chapter 15 THE PROPHET CREATES A DIVERSION AT HIS OWN EXPENSE16 Chapter 16 THE PROPHET RETURNS FROM THE MOUSE WITH TWO OLD AND VALUED FRIENDS17 Chapter 17 MALKIEL THE SECOND IS MISTAKEN FOR A RATCATCHER18 Chapter 18 THE SILLY LIFE19 Chapter 19 MRS. MERILLIA HEATS THE POKER20 Chapter 20 THE PROPHET RETIRES FROM BUSINESS