The Compleat Bachelor

n that embarrassing period of the afternoon when morning attire is being exchanged for the tea-gown, and the indiscreet visitor

e midday practisings, scarcely over, by young ladies lanky in stocking, with surreptitious chewing-gu

e behind, and she was to follow later. I had a smal

on always seems inclined to laugh when she s

ound of childish romping, and a young mother's call of "Come here, Chris." I made all

eet bachelor friend whose title falls short, be it only by a syllable, of the full warranty, and I will show you a man who shall wai

but the nurse had gracefully relinquished the engagement on finding she had two children in charge, the grown-up one scarcely more manageable than the chub

of garment; while his mother, rosy and bright with romping, did her best to look crossly

how dare you com

th your son in the matter of a certain giant in whom we

fore on. It is as well you are a bachelor, Mr. Butte

u yourself were playing the part of a bear when I

ly!" returned Mrs. Carmichael. "You don't know wh

I replied. "I remember in my youth

of what trouble children are. They take the whole of your time-they ar

s. Carmichael, with power t

ke his neck trying to climb a handrail, under the impression it was a beanstalk-that was one of

ok my

" I replied. "He's probably got tha

getting so big and strong-and noisy," she added, a

answered, "a reducing diet of cin

der-tea?-Chris, put your arm through he

op with their brothers to their perky airs over their first long frocks. You may have given them away amid rice and slippers at the rate of two a year, when their bridal blushes almost made your task superfluous. You may ha

d always make her tingle with curiosity by an artful hint of pre-nuptial reminiscence. Besides which, she herself was t

s ago my advice was not superfluous. Whose experience was it selected you this little house

ct, Mr. Butterfield," she retorted, "and we

ss of the last phrase, a

exhaustive course of s

ul in the matter of salads,

nements of black coffee?" I conti

bad," Mrs. Kit retu

iticism of her coffee, and w

to cast on at the bottom in mending stocking knees? Who explained to you the principle of the chimne

made no response. I saw the victory of a just

have you made the treacle puffs

yiel

were a failure. I put them into the oven, and

a conqueror, and in that moment lost t

"Of course they run if you forget

called sister! A light c

those recipes, C

the bread crumbs. And he didn't! Oh, Rollo"-she turned to me-"and y

chael rose, and put as

Caroline to coach you in things before coming to see me, and edited the recipes! L

I began. She silence

maccaroni should be kept in a dar

was on the authority of

ory finger reduce

rs, and airily set me right! Mr. Butter

tion was not equal to the brilliance of the idea, I was to be branded as a fraud! The brown sugar was an original notion; and if, forsooth, like the Great Eastern

th which people will impute to one a base motive rather than go out

ostrophised Mas

self-you drink cinder-tea, but the day shall arrive when you shall be told you know less about it than the hand that pours it out

iant and spiced with goblin. His mother, laughing at my apostrophe, made a chubby fleshy fold in the childish cheek that was pressed

ll you just a short story, and I'm going to receive my

I entered the ma