The Sacred Fount
it to him that he would proba
going then
off by myself somewhere long enough to tell myself how much I do enjoy them. That's what I was cultivating solitude for when I happened just now to come upon you. When I found you there with Lady
ied, "I'm glad you turned up. I w
nk I know
little to keep him, and I was reassured as I felt him, though I had now released him, linger instead of leaving me. I had made him uneasy last night, and a new reason or two for my doing so had possibly even since then come up; yet these things also would depend on the wa
hed, "I know
at present remembered how the effect of this had told for me at luncheon, contrasted as it was with that o
had a right to call people, and I felt a glow - also, I feared, too visible - as soon as I had seen whom he meant. His meaning Lady John did me somehow so much good that I believed it would have done me still more to hear him call her a harridan or a Jezebel. It was none of my business; how little was anything, when it came to that, my business! - yet indefinably, unutterably, I felt assuaged for him and comforted. I verily believe it hung in the balance a minute or two that in my impulse to draw him out, so that I might give him my sympathy, I was prepared to risk overturning the edifice of my precautions. I luckily, as it happened, did nothing of t
he answered with an accent that
to a fellow like you as old as Lady John. She has at any rate
thing, which all but made me star
ssible, refuge in a surp
to spe
e he could on other women, or on the particular one, at least, who mattered to me. I felt I really knew what I was about, for to draw him on Mrs. Server was in truth to draw him indirectly on himself. It was indeed perhaps because I had by this time in a measure expressed, in terms however general, the interest with which he inspired me, that I now found myself free to shift the ground of my indiscretion. I only wanted him to know that on the question of Mrs. Serv
onversation whatever,
dered.
ithout uneasiness now. "Why, ha
" I laughed, "her absence of topics suffers it to be either a privilege or a deluge! She affects me, in any case, as determined to have nothing to do with me. She walks all the rest of you about; she gives you each
There was even a particular place, if I could but guess it, where he would have li
- re
an, that I thought you s
've had to notice it at a distance,
u haven't any idea at
thought that, as I tell you, marked. What does her avoidance of m
after another moment, "that
ised. "The most harml
was a touch of the comic in hearing h
lse," I replied, "I doubt if y
g me. But instead of leaving me he brought out the next moment: "I don't want anyone to back me. I don't care. I didn't mean just now," he continued,
ock. "A creature so bea
ound myself checked by my
brillian
ention again. "Is
cious of rather an inspiration, a part of which was to be j
ty as ever, he was, thanks to his preoccupation, not disagreeably a
ea of
got it straight. "Well, of
there is," I went on, "there's s
ou don't know
ithout detaining him on this, "Of what in
hinking so - that ther
t it struck me too much.
ay, how it had done so. "T
waited, showed a discomfort. "Do yo
self. "Haven't th
ken. Moreover I wou
aimed. "If you've kept them off, it m
y think! However, I repeat," I added, "that I shouldn't even
there you are!
rned. You see, at any rate, how little it need make her af
it a description that applies here to a dozen other women? You can't say, you kn
however, doubtless admonished me as to the need of presence of mi
me," he said with
Brissenden, I
y shoul
And among the ladies I except Mrs. Brissenden, with wh
hich, as I but amicably shook my head for no, he had his fi
he won't
? That won't alter the fact
lready again put my hand into his arm, and we strolled for a little till I threw off that I was sure Mrs. Server was waiting for him. To this he replied that if I wished to get rid of him he was as willin
expected. "Do you ask me that in orde
f at a loss. "
at we've ma
scretion. All the more that what on earth have we made out? I assure you I haven't a secret
d at it. "Well,
just
radiant. That she's so tremendously happy. It's the question,
ried not to show it. "My
know," he after
her happy?" I the more easily represented such a convict
all with his own thou
ith her under her appearance --? Then wha
hat one doesn't see anything wha
you mean in her
as none too much money; she has had three children and lost them; and nobo
r. "How you do
with her to be the more bew
ay you're charmed? That always - doesn't it? - describes
er for himself; he had his way of being lucid without brightness. "I'm not at all easily charm
's the last thing!" I laughed. "But isn't this - quite (wha
ture emphasised by a snap of his forefinger and thumb. "I knew
there must be something the matter. I only desire - not unnaturally - that there should be, to put me in the right for having thought, if, as you're so sure, suc
before him as he slowly shook his head. "Th
lectual eyes, to ascertaining just how queer the person under discussion might be. "Oh, of course I'm not speaking of her as a
t not for a fellow like me
ou mean,
fferently. "Well, to
the firm ground. And you mean you're no
be kind to her. Theref
be kind to her, you get on with her, as we were saying, quite enough for my argument. And is
relief, some greater help than I was as yet conscious of the courage to offer. "It
the world sh
fies me. She has s
relation to the small secret thrill produced in me by these
ays. What she tries for is this
But isn't that
le to have t
't for her? If it a
pectedly to me, came out the rest of his confession. "I want to - I try to; that's what I mean by being ki
st felt I had burnt my ships and didn't care how much I showe
s, and his melancholy eyes ranging far over my head - over t
st the man. Are
ged the tree
s. You've the wherewithal to give. It's th
tude, another pause. "It
I'm not
in down to me. "I think you're
t cost you anything if - as I confess to
fter talking of it this way
t you are as kind as the case requires and that you do help. I daresay that you'll find her even now on the terrace looking out for you." I patted his back, as we went
returned, "but you
ouldn't keep out of it if she wanted me as much as she wants
her go for you. I think I want your assi
ou already every ounce of mine I can squeeze out
w how you know it - which I've not a notion of. It's just what
I suppose you to allude to the oddity of my being so
rissenden said; "and a cl
I laughed, "fro
ed. "Does
all, to dodge a l
e found out what
ask her. I wonder even tha
nconsciousness he had yet shown me - "well,
ck to where most of our party is gathered. You're not going for tea - you're going for Mrs. Server: just of wh
a manner for himself. "It's as if something might happen to her. It's what I told you - that she may break down. If you ask me how, or in what," he continued, "how can I tell you?
'? The effort you distinguish in her is the effort of concealment - vain, as I ga
e me, before he had quite arrived, a queer sidelong glance. "Wouldn't it really be better if
part of your admirable consideration. But I must
airly pleaded. "But
!" I almost triu
e wha
d, between you and Mrs. Server, as
tually speaking, plastic wax in my
e not to,"
. "And being will
er of it - should know? Well, for all those things, and in spite of w
ype="