EYES OPEN

alls at

tching the minutes tick over on the clock like they personally owe me something. His name

," I

an who is exactly where he said he would be. "Just got t

ch h

a second. Most pe

he one the compa

say. "Di

. Listen, the signal here is pretty

el with wifi in every corner and a business centre on

say. "Sl

oo. Lo

you

n on his side of the bed and li

its axis, plates cracking, something dramatic to mark the moment everything changed. But it is just you in a room that

self sixt

tion and the particular specific grief of loving someone who

ne. Fift

unt

ng my legs over the side of t

bout. I bought a WhatsApp cloning app. Paid for it with a gift card so it would not show on our shared

the a

my screen like a secon

n with Vivienne

ap

ht, starting at 6pm when he was supposedly stuck in

read something you know is going to hu

s, I have been thinking about this all week. He replied with three words I am not going to repe

are

open th

The texts that confirm this was planned, deliberate, a whole itinerary org

ds are

me. I keep expecting them

p to two separate cloud accounts and then I email them to an address Derek

of the bed and I thin

hort, careful, circling. He confirmed what I already suspected, that he has felt something was wrong fo

ot imagi

erything yet. I wanted

e full pi

n our

you

omes in und

e

t's confirmed. They'

f that screen, sitting somewhere in the dark processing the same thing I am processing, w

age come

what y

ots. Enough to be undeniable. I leave out the on

iet for fo

en did y

ck. I waited because I want

her

, he

eath catches because it is not what I expected from a man I have never met, a ma

eight

want to do

e do. Not what ar

do YO

e eight words f

et in the dark bedroom tha

ee weeks, someone is aski