New Grub Street

, but then no one could contest the respectability of the abode. In the flat immediately beneath resided a successful musician, whose carriage and pair came at a regular hour ea

sunny weather. True that a gentle rain of soot was wont to interfere with one's comfort out there in the open, but such minutiae are easily forgotten in the fervour of domestic description. It was undeniable that on a fine day one enjoyed extensive views. The green ridge from Hampstead to Highgate, with Primrose Hill and the foliage of Regent's Park in the foreground; the suburban spaces

nd bookcases, and a tiny scullery which lay apart sufficed for the coarser domestic operations. This was Amy's territory during the hours when her husband was working, or endeavouring to work. Of necessity, Edwi

d dined; on special occasions, her services were enlisted for later hours. But it was Reardon's habit to begin the serious work of the day at about three o'clo

ses skirting Regent's Park, and lights had begun to show here and there in the windows:in one room a man was discoverable dressing for dinner, he had not

y he dipped his pen into the ink and seemed about to write: but each time the effort

dusking over; dark

d gazed at vacancy with wide, miserable eyes. Returning to consciousness, he fidgeted nervously on his chair, dipped his pen for the hundredth time, bent fo

ckly. Reardon threw his arms upon the desk, let hi

ened, and a young, cl

want the la

ed his chair a little, and l

here

uite dark in the room, for a glim

tter? Can't yo

At this rate, one goes crazy. Come

get th

me; we can understan

morbid ideas. I can't b

ed with a reading-lamp, which she placed on

n the bli

, and one much in the habit of giving orders to inferiors. Her nose would have been perfect but for ever so slight a crook which made it preferable to view her in full face than in profile; her lips curved sharply out, and when she straightened them of a sudden, the effect was not reassuring to anyone who had counted upon her for facile humour. In harmony with the broad shoulders, she had a strong neck; as she bore the lamp into the room

y; she had been wedded nearly two y

oted scrupulous personal refinement. She walked well; you saw that the foot, however gently, was firmly planted. When

he began. 'Why can't yo

strance, not exactly of affection

o directly. He moved to another part of the room, then came roun

my

el

with me. I don't think

, dear. What is to p

ut of it before I have got it into working shape. In these last few months, I must have begun a dozen different books; I have been ashamed to tell you of each new beginning. I write twenty pages, perhaps, and then

here was no need to destroy what you had wri

hat word, Am

ry practical tones. 'However it was before, you must wr

pt si

ent on to ask. 'What h

before me like an interminable desert. Impossible to get through them.

ving or not.- -Don't stand behind me, like that; it'

sition whence he could see her

different way, 'tha

at

- well, it

I- w

her lips, after she had

eep saying to yourself that I am not what you thought me. Perhaps you even feel that

after a short silence. 'You are much weaker than I imagined

s always bee

eve it. But whilst you are saying so, you let me get nearer and nearer to miserable, hateful poverty.

se I must do

this quarter's rent, and that will leave us just about fifteen

winter. Surely it's bad enough that we have had to stay here all the summer; no holiday of any kind. I have

gave her head just a little sha

e. But I am at the mercy of my brain; it is dry and powerless. How I envy those clerks who go by to their offices in the morning! There's the day's work cut out for them; no question of mood and feeling; they have just to work at something, and when the evening comes, they have earned their wages, they are free to res

ay in a pass

ourse if one refuses to be of one's time, and yet hasn't the means to live independently, what can result but breakdown and wretchedness? The fact of the matter is, you coul

from mine. He is naturally light-hearted

would be a kind of insanity if I refused. But power doesn't answer to the will. My efforts are utterly vain; I suppose the prospect of pennilessness is itself a hindrance; the fear haunts me. With such terrible

ought to have had a holiday. I think even now you

rest pretence of holiday. To go

er or Jack to len

ld be int

e of things is

e length of the r

our brother would do it so unwillingly that we

o that, you know,'

ust and will get something done lon

took one o

at's one side of my weakness. I am utterly dependent upon you

done nothing

sappointment. You would have looked with scorn at anyone who talked to me like that two years ago. You were proud of me because my work wasn't altogether common, and b

editatively. 'I know very well that, if you had a

nd times for saying

ing to us; I feel too sure of it. I often feel disposed to go and beg him on my knees to think of us in his will.' She

said n

want of it, you know. I did think - there's no harm in confessing it - that you were sure to be rich

e sure

t powerful thing in the world. If I had to choose between a glorious reputation w

N

sho

you are

away wit

s. As for a mediocrity like me - what ludicrous absurdity to fret myself in the hope that half-a-dozen folks will say I am "above the average!" After all, is there sillier vanity than this? A year after I have published

nce at him, but

work. There's the shrinking from conscious insincerity of workmanship - which most of the writers nowadays

y mean it. It may very well be that I am just as foolish as the people I ridicule for moral and religious superstition. This habit of mine is superstitious. How well I can imagine the answer of some popular novelist if he heard me speak scornfully of his books. "My dear fellow," he might say, "do you suppose I am not aware that my books ar

ssume that his books are rubbish?

ell, I am suffering from my powerlessness. I am a failure, my poor girl, and it isn't easy for me to loo

e advise you; put aside all your strict ideas about what is worthy and what is unworthy, and just act upon my advice. It's impossible for you to write a three-volume novel; very well, then do

season at the end of October. If you like, don't put your name to it; your name certainly would have no weight with

er. His expression was

nd of faculty to write stories of this sort. The invent

s the attention of vulgar readers. Think of "The Hollow Stat

ng myself to that,' Rear

ll you tell me what

e a novel in two volum

le, and stared at the blank sheets o

,' said Amy, 'and then you will

'll go out and try to

d looked steadi

it?' sh

e to you to leave this fl

efaced way, his eyes fa

inued, in the same tone, 'for

ropose to live?' Am

one of the outer districts. One might find three unfurnished rooms

o as seems

see that I am driven to think of every possible resource. To speak like that is to abandon

uched for

at it means, to give up our home and position. That

three months before Christm

number of pages every day. Good or bad, never mind; let

. I must think of

gesture of

atter? Get this book finished and sold,

ories I have thrown aside will come back in a clearer light

hink of such t

trifle to me - nothing! I can't bear that you should forg

, and looked up

two kind words -

over his hair, and murmured

teps, and walked in the darkness round the outer circle of Regent's Park, rack