When Winter Blooms

e seven on

se, I didn'

oudly showing me, except she'd clearly gotten it from somewhere she wasn't supposed to, because when I aske

il

mm

d you get

ddy's

f-limits at all times, a rule that Lily was apparently aware of and had

ily was at her afternoon play session downstairs with the neighbour's kid, the study door was slightly

d the d

en I s

and deliberately empty, no clutter, no person

o it, the blankne

desk, books on every surface, papers that

hat felt like someone

asn't what

t of the door was e

hole wall, some overlapping, pinned and taped and layered, like

here, and here.

them we

led like it was her natural resting state. In some she was

graphed at all, reading, or looking out a win

her belly and the other wrapped around a mug, looking down at herself with this expressi

y, red-faced, wrapped in white and the woman was looking down at

he world had simpl

l photographs and just saw her as a whole, this woman, everywhere, alive in every fram

d of anything. He'd

in my

fast I nearly d

ff, sleeves rolled up, which me

me with an expression I couldn't read, which was pretty standard f

" I said, i

e and I was just putting it back, I wasn't

s fi

t's on th

e said it quiet

and, blue spine, some kind of nature photography

n't touch mine

then stood there with hi

door was right there. I'

n't l

n't help it, and he must have seen

Claire,"

orked that out. Like he

autiful,"

f the complicated feelings sitting un

ed at t

as," h

ed in the room like

elt

said, still looking at the photog

thing, I'm not s

..." He

d ag

eren't straightforward. She said it was the thi

re di

to do with that.

," he said. Quiet,

, or maybe I didn't let myse

f Claire with the newborn. He

under his arm, and walked to the door. Completely

d in the

udy is still off-

r h

anaged. "O

d to his footsteps

udy for another m

ents he'd pulled out of the rest of the apartment and put in here where he

t he'd said. She wo

he saddest thing about the situation. not even close. But so

ve seen something in me worth liking. The idea that

he desk, neatly, where he'd kno

under the water for ten seconds the way my mother taught me when I

erald-less for once, telling me something very fast about

her to the elevator and n

said, as the

ea

at me. "Your e

st tire

han four, the one that made me think she'd been watching adults her who

just put her hand in mine and

t meant she didn't fully believe

ezed h

a wall full of photographs or a man who kept them all behind a closed door, o

hink about

managed