Emotionless Attachment

As I relaxed in bed, swinging my feet back and forth laughing hard at the reels Gwen, my best friend, sent while on a video call with her. "Be my girlfriend?" a message popped up on my phone's screen, making my heart stop for a moment as I was taken aback. It was from Leo, a guy I had been admiring for a long time. "Gwen!" I called out.

She looked at me, "What's going on? You're screaming, Pat." visibly disturbed. "Guess what?" I grinned.

"Did you find yourself a sugar daddy, and now we're rich?" she teased. I was momentarily puzzled, then burst into laughter. "No, no sugar daddy here."

Gwen asked eagerly, "What's the news then?" I felt my cheeks redden, "He asked me to be his girlfriend!" throwing my feet up in the air.

Gwen stared at me, still trying to figure out who the person was. "Who asked? Leo?" she asked to confirm. Leo was the only boy I talked about in most of our chit-chats. Thrillingly "Of course!" I replied. It felt like I had been waiting for this day, and finally, it had come.

"That's so cute! I'm happy for you, Pat,", She expressed but her happiness seemed forced. "Your cheeks are as red as my bank account right now," she pointed out.

I grabbed a hand mirror to check and was surprised to see that my cheeks were indeed a vibrant shade of red, illustrating the intensity of my blush. I had blushed so hard that even my teeth were visible.

Glancing at Gwen's face, it was evident that she wasn't genuinely happy upon hearing the news. "Gwen, aren't you happy that Leo asked me to be his girlfriend?" I asked, feeling bothered.

She looked at me "I don't know how I feel about it but I have a bad feeling about him. He just doesn't seem right for you," trying to make me understand her. I've had long conversations with Gwen about Leo, and it was evident that his behavior raised more red flags than green flags. His major red flag was his being too friendly with girls, and his green flag was his smarts and my liking for him. I looked at Gwen in disbelief. "Are you jealous that I have a boyfriend?"

"No, P.P. Pat," she stammered. "I'm sorry, but that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm only trying to look out for you, Pat. It's just that I struggle to put my thoughts into words. Please believe me, I'll never be jealous of your happiness," she tried to explain.

"I understand and appreciate that you're looking out for me, but at least pretend to be happy," I urged Gwen. “He told me he'd cut them off once I accepted to be his girlfriend." I tried convincing Gwen, “He likes me, and the feeling is mutual.” That was the beginning of my delusion.

Gwen replied apologetically "I'm sorry, Pat. I didn't mean any harm,".

Feeling dissatisfied with Gwen's reaction, I decided to end the call. Despite Gwen consistently pointing out these concerns, I chose to overlook them. My admiration for Leo persisted for a long time. I didn't reply to Leo's text that day but I remained excited, thinking about how my first kiss would be when I finally got to see him. I thought about Leo all night, to the extent that I dreamt of kissing him. Waking up with a smile, I quickly returned to sleep, still consumed by thoughts of him.