Perfect Husband

"Ah, so annoying. Feri is coming home today. I have to prepare everything to welcome him," I muttered reluctantly as I got out of bed and got ready to shower. Earlier, before taking a nap, I had already cooked.

"Serving the husband, kisses, hugs... Ugh, disgusting!" I grumbled again as I let the water soak my body. After finishing my shower, I put on makeup and perfume. I did this because of an incident in the past. Feri was furious when he saw me looking messy, sweaty, and unkempt the last time he came home.

It's not that I don't care, but as far as I understand sex, I simply can't enjoy it with Feri. It's confusing. I've heard on TV or read in magazines that physical intimacy is supposed to feel incredible, like floating in the air. But honestly, I swear, all I feel is disgust and pain. I don't understand why my husband thinks it's so important.

For me, not having to do it is a blessing. It's pure torment, truly! What should I do? I've even considered asking Feri to marry another woman because of how burdened I feel with this emotional responsibility toward him.

Drrrrt Drrrrt...

My phone vibrated on the nightstand. Reflexively, I glanced at it and answered the call.

"Yes?"

"Ina, I'm almost home. Have you gotten ready? I miss you."

I rolled my eyes lazily.

"Yes... I have."

---

"Ina, I'm sure. You can heal, your trauma will fade, and you won't suffer anymore when we're together," he said. I let out a heavy sigh and replied,

"I hope that can happen."

"Alright, wait for me at home." My heart pounded as I heard his words before he hung up. I put the phone down and immediately started trembling, imagining Feri approaching me with his desires. For some reason, it made me feel deeply uncomfortable. I couldn't even accept his touch. All I could think about was pain.

"Ugh... Damn it!" I muttered, covering my ears. The sound of Feri's breathing and voice during intimacy felt revolting to me. Why does this feel so unbearable? I can't live peacefully like this.

For two years of marriage, Feri has tried to help me and reassure me that I'm different. He says all women want this-affection, touches, and most importantly, emotional maturity. But what's wrong with me? I even wish I could be free from him. If only Feri would divorce me and leave me for another woman, I would feel so relieved. I can't bear this emotional torment anymore. I don't enjoy it at all. I hate it; I'm disgusted by it.

Click...

The sound of the bedroom door opening startled me, and I hadn't even realized that Feri was already home. I stood frozen, wide-eyed, leaning against the table to steady myself as I trembled. Seeing my expression, Feri instinctively came closer and embraced me.