Marriage to the End

Rain...

Today it rains yet again. Not that I mind. It helps fill the hollowness in my heart created by the people who were supposed to protect me. To tell me what's wrong and what's right. To tell me it'll be alright. And finally, to love me.

Losing it all, makes a person do something that they're not permitted to do. It makes them look like a walking devil. I wonder if the devil was betrayed by the people who were supposed to be his as well. And made him so vengeful that he went against God? My thoughts always take a dark turn whenever the sky is filled with clouds. It's as if the sky is also crying and telling me it'll be alright. After the dark comes light for those who don't give up hope.

It makes me laugh, that I once believed it, no matter the events, no matter the pain. However, as a naive person, I miscalculated 1 small detail. It's only a fantasy to believe it. The light will only come to those who don't have the will to give up. I don't know about myself. What should I consider myself as? People look at me with either of 2 expressions, awe or contempt. The ones with the 1st expression are those who in one or another benefited from me. Although that is obvious. But they look at me that way for another reason. In their eyes, I am a knight in shining armor. Brought light and hope to them when they didn't know what it was. What they don't know is that they are knights of their own stories. I only showed them how to make their exterior shine. The rest is all on them. However, they think otherwise. I don't have time to waste so let them be happy in the illusions they've created.

Now, the 2nd type of expression. How should I say this, they're either dead or wish that they were dead. It'd be better than the life they live now. As to how they see it. They don't think it's wrong to destroy the weak, harass them, rape or other below-the-belt things they do for their entertainment. They have money and that's all the explanation they're willing to give. They own the right to trample others below them as if they are insects. Hmm... An interesting thought. But what if justice existed and cannot be bought? What then would happen to such people? They'd never thought about it. That's where I come in. I never had the luxury to sit idly by. So, it's to say a lot that I could have thought so much just now. Hmm, I wonder if the name given to me is correct, Celeste. Means heavenly. I don't think of myself as an angel. As an angel can do no wrong only right as permitted by God. I'd rather consider myself the devil's advocate. As I don't fear sending people to meet the devil in hell.

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How long does it take for an asshole to show up for the meeting? I would never be here if I didn't need their services. Ha! Heck 3 months ago, if someone told me, I was about to get a baby sister, I would've thrown them out of the window without a second's hesitation.