If I don t have you

"When I'm happy, you feel happy too. But, when I'm sad, do you feel the same way?" 

***

A dark brown-haired girl was enjoying the sunset in the afternoon. Her long hair was left loose. The girl closed her eyes, feeling the fresh air that constantly pierced the pores of her skin. Occasionally, her wavy hair followed the direction of the wind, which went nowhere.

With a shabby white dress and her feet left completely bare without any protection, this girl was huddled on a green meadow that was quite large and beautiful. 

A handful of bitter smiles were imprinted on her lips, she didn't know what the smile was about. Her sad eyes were still looking at the sky. She had made an abstract painting with colors that had been mixed together. The flocks of birds flying made the sky even more crowded. Unlike this girl, who was always in endless solitude, the silence that always hit her, and the sadness that dissolved and accompanied her sad days.

Jessia Kaula Rinjani. That's her name. Usually called Sia. A petite girl who always has a cheerful look on her face, but now it's different, she's not like she used to be. With each passing day, Sia has become a loner, a girl who doesn't like to hang out with her friends, always looking strong in front of others, but in reality, she is the complete opposite. She was a fragile girl, full of sadness and sorrow that was dissolving.

A worn-out object was taken from a small pocket on her dress. She rubbed it gently and smiled sardonically afterwards. Sia closed her eyes, hugging the object in her arms. With her tight embrace, Sia couldn't help but feel the pain in her heart. The pain was not comparable to a knife cut on the hand.

Beads of clear liquid just slid out of her sad eyelids. Sia didn't want to cry, she didn't want to cry about it. However, it was so difficult, and her feelings were so broken. 

"Why did you leave me, El?" she said softly while touching a small photo in her hand.

A sob escaped Sia's thin lips. Again, she couldn't forget the incident. The incident that required Sia to be willing—willing to be left behind by someone who had given color to her life—made her realize that she needed to be more willing. 

However, she couldn't at all. Sia couldn't forget that person, it was too imprinted on her memory. Maybe even if Sia experienced memory loss, the thought of that person would still be loyal in her brain.

Sia's cries grew louder, she couldn't bear it. She wanted to catch up with him before he left. However, Sia still wanted to live life as it should be. 

This place became a silent witness to the beginning of Sia's sadness. She will never forget the place where she accepted the harsh reality of losing someone she loved.

Sia didn't know if this was the lifeline God had given her or if God was just testing her resilience. Sia hoped that the second answer was the one she was currently living in. Sia knows that every test that God gives to his servants must have wisdom and pleasure that can be obtained afterwards. 

However, Sia didn't know if this was her lifeline or just a test that God had given her. Sia raised her head up so that her tears would not continue to flood her cheeks.

She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the fresh air of this beautiful sunset.

It didn't feel like time was passing so quickly. A dark grin began to fill the sky, which was beginning to take on a reddish-yellow color. Sia got up from her seat and cleaned her buttocks, which were probably dirty.