If I Never Loved You

RAELYNN

My whole body went still as my eyes connected with his. Something passed between us and his eyes flickered for a moment. Both of us didn't move. The spark that was passing between us kept on burning. I was feeling things I never felt before. But I was looking at him and he was looking at me. And that's what mattered.

~ BEFORE ~

"ARE YOU UP?" My mom, being the most curious person I've ever seen, screamed at the top of her voice. I came down after freshening up a little still looking like a mess. She came to a halt but being the dramatic woman she was, she nearly fainted when she looked at me.

"What have you done to yourself? Sherri will be here any minute now and you are standing here?" I gave my mom an apologetic smile which she definitely did not buy. "Rae, go change please and for God's sake, put on some makeup."

"Ugh okay, call me if you need help," I started walking towards my mom's room for clothes because Sherri was a fashionista. She hated people wearing clothes that were baggy or not extra. And all I owned were clothes that were baggy or not extra.

Sherri had been my best friend since I was born. I always wanted to be her. Carefree, wild, out there and most importantly, she did what she wanted to. Her dreams were big. Like me. And we used to dream together. She never had me in any of her dreams.. which pretty much explained her moving away to LA after high school and cutting off all contacts with us.

She has been chasing her dreams ever since high school ended and a major role in her dreams was played by her filthy rich family. I couldn't do that because of obvious reasons. We weren't rich. Were they coming back to meet us? No. But they were coming back.

I lived in Portsmouth, a small town in New Hampshire, USA. It was a really pretty town. I loved it here but I didn't want to spend my whole life here. I put on a cute cardigan and a pair of black pants. After pulling up my hair into a ponytail, I finally drop the idea of putting on make-up. I walked back to the living room.

The bell rang and I started getting a weird sensation in my stomach. Mom opened the door and my dad entered the room. Behind him entered Mr & Mrs Davis and Sherri. I looked at her. She had changed so much, she was so pretty. With a radiant glow, curvier body and tanned skin, I had no words.

The two families talked a lot while I had an awkward silence with Sherri.

"Baby, why don't you and Raelynn go hang out for a bit?" Mrs Davis shifted her look to me smiling sweetly. Sherri looked at me.

"Let's go!" She said. We walked back to my room.

"Nostalgia is hitting me like a ton of bricks," she smiled looking around and then flopping down on my bed.

"You've changed so much!" I sat down in a chair.

"Yes, LA does that to you, you know."

Sherri wanted a lot from the world. I was curious, I wanted to know if she made it. "Los Angeles is beautiful, fast and elegant. You need more than just luck to not just be there but belong there. I've been living my life to the fullest. You sure have heard I'm working with Anna Winter, the editor of Vogue."

She sounded too happy not even realising how many years she has been neglecting me. She was doing a great job though.

"I'm happy for you Sherri. You will make your life even bigger than this," and a smile slipped on her face.

We talked and laughed so much just like in the old times when everything was easier. It felt like yesterday we were kids. But it was different. She was something now. And me? I was too afraid to be the one I wanted to be.

The next few days were amazing. We went on picnics, field trips, hung out, watched movies and everything. It was good. It's been a long time I've lived without friends. I loved her company and finally having someone with me.

But the last day, she got a phone call and she was stressing over it. The Davis family were really tense. Something might have happened. They were leaving for LA the next day. I had so much fun I hadn't had in years and now it was gonna become a distant memory.