I Met Myself

Sabrina

"Why?"

"Why this kind of life?"

A curse or a blessing?

I had always imagined nothing but a blissful union all my life but here I am, fighting for my life daily in this prison I found myself.

There was absolutely nothing here for me but I just had to hold on.

"I can't just give up like this," a word I would always use to pacify myself each time I'm down.

It's been years now and my strong hope and prayer would have come out great but my dear husband, Lincoln, is just the opposite of it all.

I grunt in pain as I browse my eyes around, searching for my phone.

Several punches and kicks had hit my bones and I don't think I can go on anymore.

I was hiding from Lincoln, sitting quietly under one of the chairs so he wouldn't catch me and resume the heavy beating and loud insults.

"Finally!!" I found my phone.

And in a haste, I dialed Ashley's number. My whole body was trembling as I pressed on the keypads on my phone.

I held the phone closely to my ears, anxious to just hear her talk over the phone. "Hello Sabrina," her voice echoed through from the other end of the call.

"What's the issue?" She said all of a sudden. I presume she noticed my shaky voice.

"Its Lincoln. He's at it again and this time it's worse than the last time," I muttered on the phone as tears rolled down my eyes.

She let out an audible sigh over the phone.

I became scared to the bones. "What if Ashley is tired herself of hearing this issue over and over again?"

I just might be disturbing the innocent girl who is enjoying her single life while I'm here suffering in the hands of a man I said yes to willingly.

"You need to stand up for yourself, girl. You can't keep being quiet. If he shouts at you, you do the same or even worse," She said in a loud tone.

"You know I can't talk back at him. He hates when I even try to say a word amidst an argument. It would be the end of me if he hits me out of anger more than he does usually," my voice and hands trembled as I spoke.

"Oh! I see. So, this is what you will settle for. That idiot doesn't allow you to do anything. You don't work! He hardly gives you anything and pressures you into getting up early to make breakfast for him."

"He starves you of virtually everything a married woman should enjoy! Why are you still sticking with this dude for God sake?" She voiced out in frustration.

"I love him, Ashley. I can't do anything to him. Don't forget he is my husband and I'm legally married to him. I won't stop loving him all because we are having a slight issue!"

Ashley scoffed over the phone.

"You need to wise up, Sabrina. I love also but not stupidly to the extent of being beaten this way. You are dying, girl incase you don't see it! This thing ain't working. You need to just leave this guy!"

"I can't, babes. Alll of my life belongs to him. If I leave him, I'd be as useless as anything. I don't want to cause any more problems to my life or even use mine to affect cause I mean where would I go if I leave him?" I lamented.

"Oh!....So, will you keep staying with him while he treats you like trash? I pity you. Stop letting him hit you like a punchbag. Will you keep doing this until he ends your life?" Ashley lashed out.

I buried my face between my knees and wept quietly. Thus was becoming too much for me to bear.

"Just leave this marriage already, friend. You'll find someone who is better than him. To me, it feels you are under a wicked spell and you are enjoying cause no lady will ever want to find comfort in a place where it doesn't exist!!"

"You actually think I can trust another man the way I do with Lincoln? Never and I want to bear kids for him.." I said in a low tone.

For the past five years, I haven't bore Lincoln a child. Perhaps that's why he has been this heartless towards me!

I just hope his doctors aren't lying to me. Each time, we were there, they tell me there is nothing wrong with me.