BROKEN VOWS FALLING FOR MY MARRIAGE COUNSELOR

LILLIAN CALLOWAY 

   "I want a divorce."

   The words left my mouth before I had the chance to rehearse them. Before I had the chance to think about how it would change everything for me once he agreed.

   Joe didn't even look up. Typical. I could be screaming or drowning, and he'd still be looking at that dem laptop. 

   "I want a divorce," I said again, louder this time.

   He doesn't blink. Doesn't move a muscle. Five years together. Two forgotten birthdays. Two missed 

anniversaries. A marriage dying in silence. 

   It hurts that he won't look me in the eyes, but I've gotten used to that. 

   The only thing moving between us was the ticking clock above our bed as I stood there like a statue, impatiently waiting for a response while the clock kept ticking. 

   Tick. Tock. Tick. 

   Finally, 

   "Now's not a good time, Lillian. I have an important meeting I need to prepare for in the next fifteen minutes."

   I blinked. "Did you hear what I just said?"

   He sighed, still scrolling. "We can talk tonight, but now's not the best time."

   "No," I said, louder now. "We won't."

   That got his attention.

   Joe set his laptop down slowly, like a precious little child he didn't want to break. "This again?"

   I folded my arms, knuckles white. "There is no 'again.' I'm not bluffing."

   His eyes searched mine. Not panicking. Not even angry. Just... blank. To be honest, I don't know what to make of his expressions anymore. It's like I never really knew him, and it hurts.

   "You're serious."

   I clenched my teeth together. Hard. The fact that he thinks I was joking is far beyond me. He's so self-absorbed and ridiculous. "I am."

   He stood up, buttoning his shirt with calculated ease. "We've had rough patches before-"

   "This isn't a rough patch. This is years. You stopped loving me a long time ago-that's if you ever did," I whispered those last few words to myself. "You just don't have the guts to say it. So here I am, helping you out."

   He flinched just barely. "And this is your way of punishing me? By walking out?"

   "No. This is me finally choosing myself, choosing my

happiness." I begged. "I am tired, Joe, I feel drained. Can't you see?"

   A muscle thickened in his jaw. "No. The only thing I see is you being selfish. You don't care about how your need for a divorce is going to hurt everyone around us?" He growled. "What do you want? Money? A new private apartment?"

   I laughed. "Jesus. You always think everything is about transactions."

   He doesn't respond. He just kept looking at me like I was crazy. 

   I continued. "All I'm asking for is a divorce. You're also not happy, plus you wouldn't have to feel tied down to me. Please Joe. Just say Yes."

   "Have you thought about how this stupid decision of yours would affect our families and my reputation? I  guess not. You're just being greedy right now."

   His words immediately took me aback. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm being selfish. I never thought about how my father would react if he found out about this. He'll be very disappointed in me. I can't let that happen.

   Joe didn't wait for another word from me, already knowing he had struck the final nail in the coffin. "I won't be signing any stupid divorce papers." He mocked. "And I'll get a marriage counselor to help you see that." 

   My nails bit into my palms. I couldn't hear anything past the roaring sound echoing in my ears.

   He stormed out of the room, leaving me with the heavy weight of his words-"