Forbidden Desires Embraced By My Stepbrother

Eva's POV

I stare deeply at the bubbles of my beer, zoning out despite the raucous atmosphere of the bar.

It's the last week of college. We'd had our graduation ceremony yesterday and tonight, all the seniors are in Caleb's bar, partying away the last miserable four years of our lives.

Whoever said college is going to be the best time of our lives only wanted money. They just said that to lure innocent teenagers, who will later become broke adults, to pay fees or take out loans to pay fees.

Thankfully, with mother's past divorces, which I'm not proud of, I am not in any debts.

For me, the last four years were just blank. I can't even remember any of my classes except for philosophy and literature which are my favorite subjects because I hope to become a writer some day.

I already write on websites and have loyal fans but I want to be published and recognized widely.

The thrill of signing autographs on a published book of mine is something I dream of all the time.

"Don't tell me you're zoning out in a bar!" Juliet, my best friend, remarks disapprovingly in my ears, shouting against the loud music.

I reel away from her, rubbing at my ears echoing with her voice.

"Shit, Juliet!" I reproach, mildly annoyed.

"What?" She giggles, seeming to be having fun. She pulls away the empty stool beside me and plops unto it.

The waiter comes up to her like a robot, smiling briefly.

"I will have a rum please," she bats her eyelashes at him and I roll my eyes. Juliet likes to get cute with men.

I, on the other hand, have never seemed to be attracted to anyone. I mean, I have the occasional crushes here and there but then, a guy would speak and I'd realize that I'd just been delusional.

That's why most of my classmates had boyfriends in college or highschool and I didn't.

And yes, I'm also a virgin. I'm not proud of it but I'm also not ashamed of it. There's nothing wrong with having no penetrative sex at the ripe old age of twenty-three.

Thank goodness for modern day alternatives. Archer, my trusty vibrator, is always capable.

The waiter resurfaces with Juliet's rum in a perspiring glass and she thanks him calmly, with no eye lash batting or gleeful giggles.

"So," she turns to me while sipping at her glass, "why are you being a brick? You should be out there," she gestures behind her to the dance floor, "meeting the hottie of your dreams. I thought you said you will finally pop the cherry tonight?"

I wince at Juliet's archaic expression as a heavy sigh leaves me.

Yes, I did say I'd use this opportunity of the get-together to finally let go but before I zoned out, I'd looked around the whole bar and realized that I didn't want to sleep with any guy here.

There are three guys I've had a crush on before and while one of them has been shooting me furtive, suggestive glances all night, I cannot bring myself to go over to him and tell him point blank; "I'd like to be fucked so I can stop thinking about it."

Juliet told me that guys are easy and they will happily oblige.

"Maybe I don't have to be in a hurry, my vibrators and dildos will always be here," I say cheerfully.

The two girls down the row of the bar turn to look at me and Juliet, wearing knowing smiles.

One of them winks and the other hides her giggles with a hand.

I think I may have shouted that a bit too loud over the music.

"Eva," Juliet's face turns serious, "girl, listen. It has to happen this night, trust me. You know most of the people here. In the real world, there are a lot more assholes. College is where the least assholes are."

My brows furrow in deep thought. I know she's right. I have had first row seats to the way my mom changes men every year.

Just when you think he's going to be the one, he decides to show his true colors and then leave her. Mom doesn't marry all her dates though, she's only married five and unfortunately for her, they weren't any different from the others.

But fortunately for me, I got to meet their children and we're still sort of friends even while our parents don't speak.

"Okay," I breathe out in resignation.

"I'll have to drink a lot though," I say to Juliet as I empty my beer in one gulp.

"That's the spirit," she grins, giving me a gentle slap on my shoulder. Her eyes sparkle as she shouts, "oh!! That was a good pun."

I shake my head at her.

"Don't get too drunk though, you know how boys are," she shudders with a grimace.

I chuckle lightly because coming from her? That means she's seen things.

I order two glasses of whiskey to revive my motivation for the night.