An alcoholic mother, an abusive stepdad. Bullying. Toxic relationships. SH and an overdose which lead to a psychiatric section and a new journey V has to navigate her way through. Will she make a success of this second chance she's been granted or will she always be trapped in her trauma?
Chapter 1 I survived.
The lights burned before I could even open my eyes. The sound of the machines beeping sent a pulsing through my head which I could only describe as agonising. The reek of disinfectant and alcohol burned through my nose arousing me from my sedated slumber even more. I could start making out little whispers and I could feel the presence of someone next to me. This couldn't possibly be the other side. I wasn't sure I'd end up in heaven, people who sin like I did don't get to enter the pearly gates but I thought still it would be more comfortable than this. That's when it dawned on me. I failed.
They got to me in time. I was alive. My eyes managed to start opening, the light burning my corneas more so by the second. By the time they managed to finally adjust I realised the presence I could feel was my dad. The emotionally unavailable man that I still loved dearly was trembling and filled with tears. The sight shattered my already broken heart even more but the emotions of anger and hurt broke through too.
"You're awake" my dad says grabbing a hold of my hand.
"Where am I?" I asked. Reality still not properly set in.
"You're in the hospital, Sarah realised there was something wrong and got to you in time to call the ambulance"
Sarah? My Ex Sarah?
My dad continues "Rose called me and I rushed home. I got here just as the paramedics did. There was empty packets everywhere. We've been so worried"
My memory started coming back a bit. I remember waking up, taking a shower, made my bed. Wrote my notes to everyone. Went downstairs to the medicine cabinet. Poured myself a glass of juice. Made my way back up to the bedroom, popped open the capsules filled with powder and emptied them into the juice to drink. I figured they would absorb into my blood stream quicker. Drank the concoction with the anti depressants and Valium I had been prescribed a week before when I had my psychotic break. Then my mind goes blank.
"Rose got an awful fright, as did your brother" "I thought he was at school?"
"He was but he had a migraine so came home early, they got home but Rose said she thought you were resting and after the week you had she thought to leave you in peace. I'm so glad Sarah got there when she did. The doctors say if the ambulance was just 10 minutes later the poison would of taken you" my dad said with his voice breaking. I daren't look at him. The guilt was too much. I wouldn't of needed to endure guilt if it had worked. Another reason to be angry. This was meant to be done. I wasn't meant to feel this way anymore. The pills didn't take away the sadness or the hurt. Just created more. What a failure I was.
"Vanessa?" A nurse calls. "The psychiatrist wants to come see you if you're ready?"