couldn't believe we were having this argument at my little sister's wedding. She was marrying my best friend, and this was supposed to be their day. I thought... fuck, I didn't know what I thought anymore. How could we let life get in the way of our love for each other? We had been together, on and off, since we were fifteen. When we got back together last time, we were 24 years old and I knew she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wasn't going to risk losing her again for anything, so I proposed a few weeks later and never looked back. Ten years ago, we were so in love. So devoted. So consumed with each other. Where did we go wrong? With the most sincere and pained expression on her face, she persuaded: - I don't want to be just another challenge or obstacle, something you won't give up on, Christian. "You're taking my words out of context, Kinley. - I am? I haven't been your priority for who knows how long. - That's a lie! I'm inside you making you cum on my dick... - This isn't about sex, Christian! It has nothing to do with it! - What the hell is that? I give everything to you! What more do you want from me? - Do you give me everything? You can not be serious. You think I don't realize how distant you are from me because I can't-" "We're not talking about that right now. - I growled in a low protest. Grabbing her arm, I dragged her to the back of the farmhouse on my sister's property, where the ceremony and reception were being held. During the exchange of vows, we watched my sister and my best friend start over while my world came crashing down in a devastating way. And all I could do was sit there and look at Kinley's face, trying desperately to hold on to the good times, the memories of our life together. I could see in her bright green eyes that I had loved for as long as I could remember that her thoughts mirrored my own, remembering a time when it was us in front of our friends and family, vowing to be together for better or for worse. She still loved me. I still loved her. However, none of that mattered anymore. Life passed us by in the blink of an eye. We were no longer those two crazy teenagers who thought they could face the world together. Our love was replaced by anger, our devotion began to crumble, and our lives began to disintegrate. But anything worth having is worth fighting for, right? She was the only woman who ever touched my heart, my soul and every fiber of my being belonged to her. I was hers. Inside and outside. Yet now her love felt like a double-edged sword thrust straight into my heart. Her eyes were no longer a bright, vivid green. They felt sad and empty, although I could still see the love she had for me hidden behind her depths of uncertainty. She turned to leave and I grabbed her arm, turning her to face me. - I love you, Kinley. She immediately closed her eyes as if it hurt to look at me. Then I reached out, cupping the sides of her face, willing her to open them for me. - Candy. - I persuaded gently
during their vows. You can't hide from me. I know you were remembering our wedding day. How I looked at you when you were walking down the hall. From the moment you walked into that church, you took my breath away and ten years later, you still do. Don't you remember how I used to make you feel, Kins? Please, darling, tell me you remember the way we were. She held her breath as I wiped away her tears with my thumbs. -What happened to us? We were so happy, so in love. You remember, don't you? Kinley I lamented, "Of course I remember. - I would never be able to forget.
He was in my veins, in my blood, imprinted so deeply into my bones that I didn't know where I began and he ended. - You protected me. You're always protecting me, Christian, but you can't protect me from this â from what we've become. - I loved you before. I love you now. - He kissed the tip of my nose. - I will always love you. - You love what we were then, not what we are now. He finished. You know it's over. We had to finish. I couldn't continue to allow him to sacrifice more than he already had for me. It wasn't fair what I was doing to him and I've put him through every month for the last two years. I had to stop being selfish and put his needs and desires first. I loved him enough to let him go, knowing I could never give him what he truly craved. I tried... But I was damaged. He shook his head. - I don't want that for us and I know you don't either. We're still here, sweetie. Deep down, it's still us. - Christian, please... I'm not trying to hurt you. It's the opposite â I'm trying to free you. I'm tired of disappointing you all the time. I can't live like this anymore. - Well, I can't live without you. I opened my eyes, revealing our life together in my devastated expression. It was the least I could do. It was killing me too. I didn't want this, but I had no other choice. I had made the wrong choice over ten years ago, and it cost me the love of my life. - How do I look at the woman I love and just walk away from her? As? Please tell me, Kins, because I have no idea. I swallowed hard as more tears slid down my face. - I know you blame me. - This is not true. - Yes it is. I can see right through you. I have always seen it and I will always see it. I wish I could change things. If I could take it back... Damn, I just can't do this anymore. I spent years regretting what I can't change, and now I see it in the way you look at me, in the way you talk to me. You blame me, Christian, so stop pretending you don't. - I do not care anymore. Let's work on it. "All you'd be doing is settling for me, and I can't do that to you. We've been trying to make this work for years. It is enough. You have to let me go. - The fuck I will. I pushed him. - Stop! Just stop! We agree! -What other choice did you give me? - The only choice we have left! -That's not the answer! Our chests were rising and falling in unison, which was the only thing in sync with us. - How can you not see that? What are you doing to yourself, to me â to us? I backed away, his questions leaving me breathless. - What do you want me to do? -Fight for us! - I can't do more than I already have, Christian! I no longer have the strength to fight! Everything was taken away with every-" I stopped myself, unable to say the words. It hurt like hell. - Christian! I do not want to stay here! I need to leave! -For God's sake, Kinley! You can't leave my sister's wedding! - I don't mind! It's your fault that no one knows the truth, and the longer I stay here, the harder it is not to tell everyone! Even though I didn't want him to say the words, there was no way to contain the fury that was rising in his body as he spat: - Let's not ruin their marriage because you want to tell everyone that we're getting divorced! - Yes! I want to tell everyone! It's time! We've been hiding this for months! We've been pretending to be something we're not for years and I can't do that anymore! For once, can you just listen to me? Can you just see things through my eyes? You can't protect me anymore! I'm not that young girl you found in the forest! Why can't you see this?! - You will always be that girl for me. You may have forgotten about her, but she never left my side. You never left me and you never will. Did you understand? - Christian, we are no longer an us. - We will always be one us, Kins. From the first time I claimed your lips, you were mine. He did the only thing he could in a moment that felt like we were saying goodbye. Grabbing the back of my neck, he crashed his lips against my mouth, kissing me like he did that night all those years ago. He was trying desperately to remind me who we were. Except when we pulled away, resting our foreheads on each other for support, I cried. - I don't want to be yours anymore... This hurts a lot. I lied. Not for me. Not for us. For him. It was my turn to protect him... From me. My mind was thrown back to that night when I met my soulmate at fifteen, in the forest, where he protected me, and... Made me believe in love at first sight. CHAPTER 01 Past Kinley - You need to go easy on the whiskey, Kinley, or you'll get sick. - My best friend Jax warned, standing next to me in the forest. I was trying to enjoy the end of the year party. It was where everyone from various schools always gathered in our small town of Fort Worth, Texas. - Jax, it's the last day of our freshman year of high school! We are officially sophomores and have reached another year at good old Adam
Chapter 1 protected
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Chapter 2 Serious
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Chapter 3 couldn't help
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Chapter 4 The sadness
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Chapter 5 persuaded
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Chapter 6 This only makes
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Chapter 7 one who waits for the guy to call
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Chapter 8 The shit he's seen
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Chapter 9 landlords on behalf
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Chapter 10 She's not stupid
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Chapter 11 deserve
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Chapter 12 turned in a circle
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Chapter 13 the sex was over
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Chapter 14 believe
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Chapter 15 I didn't listen
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Chapter 16 vomiting
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