Loves' Redemption

Sleep paralysis, they say it's a disorder that wreaks havoc on your mental well-being. In those moments, you're utterly disconnected, a mere spectator in your own body. Conscious of your mind but your body can't move.

I found myself trapped and battling desperately to regain control, to make even the slightest movement.

Alas, I was free and tears welled in my eyes, overwhelmed by the sensation.

Then, amidst this struggle, a call pierced through, "Elizabeth!" My mother's voice. Panic surged within me at the thought of her discovering me in this state. I willed my finger to budge, then another, until eventually, I could command my entire body. Thank Goodness

It dawned on me that my bed was soaked in sweat, and I hurriedly tried covering it up with a pillow.

I wiped away my tears, not wanting to get my mum worried.

My mother stormed into the room, her face etched with irritation and a frown "Why are you still in bed? You're running late and it's your first day at college." She yelled at me

Oh shit

Paint rushed through me as I realized I had forgotten about the whole college thing; yesterday's packing had taken its toll.

Shit.

Hastily, I rose from the bed and dashed to the bathroom to prepare for the day. I quickly turn on the shower to be greeted by cold water.

Fuck it's freezing. I didn't have any time to complain about the water. I quickly took my bath and got dressed.

"Where on earth is my leather jacket", I declared to myself, scattering my wardrobe to look for it. It took a whole ten minutes to find it.

I took my lipgloss and mascara from my bag to do a little bit of light touch on my face.

Perfect.

I ran down the stairs trying to fit my leather boots into my legs when my phone fell from my hands.

Shit. Looks like today was not the day for me.

I picked it up to check if the screen broke but luckily for me it didn't.

Rushing to the kitchen to whip up something quick, I was relieved to discover breakfast waiting for me on the table. "I love my mom so much," I thought, grateful for her thoughtfulness. I kissed her on the cheek while she did the dishes. "Thanks for the food mum". She replied with a warm smile.

I took a good look at my mum from the corners of my eyes. She was by the sink washing the dishes. "What a stunning woman", I said to myself.

My eyes traced from the top of her head to the tip of her feet. My mum, in her mid-forties, looked like a total goddess. She didn't have a single wrinkle or any aging sign or whatever Her fashion sense was on another level!, I could not help but wonder if she had even more fashion sense than I did.

We have similar features- platinum blonde hair with curls at the end with the same height. The only difference was that I was a curvy lady, while my mum had a slim-fit body. With that body of hers, she could make a man weak on his knees. 'I always wondered why she didn't remarry after my dad's death. It has been almost thirteen years now.

Was she not lonely all these years? I whispered to myself. I know I keep her company but now that I'm leaving for college who would? She told me a few months ago how guys at her workplace try to ask her out on dates. But with the men she had seen no one was compared to my dad.

I brought back the topic by asking "Mom, why haven't you remarried?". She was taken aback by the question, I could see the surprise on her forehead lines. "And why do you ask such a question" she gave me a stern look. "I'm sorry mum, " I replied , hurt. After wiping her hands on a towel, she knelt beside me, "You know what? I haven't found anyone quite like your father yet. And guess what? You have your dad's eyes love, she added. I can still vividly remember the day we met, just like it was yesterday. His eyes were the first thing that caught my attention.

"They were so captivating", she added. Once I've found someone you'd be the first person to know okay plum bum, he uttered kissing me on my forehead.

"I can't believe my baby girl is going to college," she remarked with a fond smile. As she rose to embrace me tightly, I felt her display of affection was excessive, but I understood-after all, I was her only daughter.

The time had come to set out. I cast one last glance around the house, then settled into the passenger seat of my mom's car, a book in hand. My eyes scan through the pages. As she turned on the car ignition and started driving.

"Are you excited about college?" my mom inquired. I kept my response concise, "Yes, Mom." She persisted, "Do you think you'll make friends if you keep burying yourself in books?" Was she launching this debate now? "Mom, why do you want to start with this? I thought we were over this now.," I replied flipping the pages. "But books can't replace real connections, they're a means to escape reality," she reasoned with a frown in between her eyebrows. I inhaled deeply.

"I'm not saying I won't make friends, mum, I just love reading" I explained with a faint smile, my hands slightly on her shoulders.

"I know love, but this was how you were in high school. I don't want you to also be like this in college Elizabeth", she resorted trying to make me understand her. I do

"I'll make friends, mum okay. Trust me", I said reassuring her with a smile

"Alright fine, you win this time", she uttered, returning a slight smile showing her little dimple by the right cheek.

Ughh, why didn't I inherit my mum's dimples? I remember my mum telling me when she saw I didn't have dimples as a baby. She tried all manner of things to make it happen but none work.

Staring out of the car window, I absorbed the scenery-a flock of birds, pigeons soaring high in the sky, and what I believed to be a crimson parrot. The gentle breeze brushing my face invoked a sense of tranquility, a feeling of freedom akin to those birds.

Sometimes, I wished I could be one of them, soaring high above, free from sleep paralysis, free from anxiety-free from it all. I watched as the kids in my city ran around cheerfully. The bright smiles on their faces, they had dirt all over their body but they didn't care, they still played and jumped around happily. I would give anything to be a kid again. They had nothing to worry. All they do is cry, play and eat. That's all

I surveyed how the people walked in a hurry like they were on a mission.

Some men were in suits and ties, I guess they were going for a job interview. The ladies wore body-fitted skirts and blouses. The houses in my city were mostly bungalows but some buildings were for high-class people but they were not found where I stayed. It was a peaceful city filled with middle-class people.

My mother made sure she provided me with all the necessities I needed while growing up. I never lacked anything since when I was a baby. She made sure I went to the best schools and wore the best clothes.

Horn

A grumpy man who looked like life had dealt with him real good horned at my mum. "Can you move your car faster, woman?" he shouted. As he opened his mouth to speak a fly came out of it.

When was the last time this man had his bath? He looked hopeless and dirty. Funny how he had a cigarette in his hands. He could afford to buy a cigarette and not to bathe.

What a shame. His teeth were brown and his lips dry. His clothes were crinkled. One would have thought he was nuts. Flies were pestering around his head, I could swear this man had not had a bath in years.

"There is a whole lot of space on the road for everybody, don't yell at me", my mum shouted back at him trying to keep her eyes on the road. I calmed my mum down to avoid her exchanging words with this good-for-nothing drunk man. He wasn't worth her time. People like this are not worth exchanging words with. I won't be surprised when he gets into an accident because of the way he was driving. I wonder how he can afford a car. I'm sure he stole it. She agreed to what I said.

My thoughts drifted back to the previous night. Why did this keep happening to me? I questioned myself, my eyes still in the book but my mind was not in it.

Suddenly, my mom tapped my shoulder, bringing me back to reality. "I called your name three times, Elizabeth, and you didn't respond. Is everything okay?" she inquired with concern. "It's fine, Mom, I'm alright," I reassured her. "Your mind seems unsettled; are you sure you're okay?"

she pressed further. I smiled, attempting to put her at ease, and assured her that everything was fine.

"I can't believe you're leaving me alone in that empty house, Lizzy," my mom exclaimed, her eyes welling up with tears. My mother can be so emotional and extra sometimes

I reached for my handkerchief to gently wipe away her tears. "My physical presence may not be with you, Mom, but I'll always be in your heart and mind," I comforted her.

She smiled through her tears and affectionately called me "My plum bum," a nickname from my childhood. I embraced her tightly.

Since my dad's passing, my mom has been my rock. His siblings had abandoned her, leaving her to care for a five-year-old girl all on her own.

I harbored a deep-seated resentment towards them for causing her so much pain. I remember watching my mom plead with them when we had nothing to eat, and they all turned their backs on her. She had told me my dad died in a car accident when I was just five, leaving me with no memories of him. Sometimes, I wished there were visiting hours in heaven; I would visit him every day.

But I took solace in the belief that he was watching over both my mom and me. "I miss you, Dad," I whispered to the sky.