Sins and Lies

Italy - Tuscany 2018

What a stupid idea to think it's better

feel pain to feel nothing.

We elevate feeling to such wrong levels that we prefer

set ourselves on fire to live with our emptiness.

Stone Circle.

I'm always running.

No matter the day, time or place, I will always run when my chest tightens to the point of almost tearing everything from the inside out. Running has always taken a weight off my shoulders, quieting my soul, but sex is better than running. That's why my body is naked like this, while I roll around in the lap of the man I found at the club a few hours ago.

"Yes!" Huh! He moans as he grips my waist. — Dio Mio!

He lifts his hands to touch my breasts which are bouncing in rhythm with the sway of my waist, but I push them away as I press my hips down onto his erect sex and my large sex tightens my private part which makes me let out a moan. excitement with every movement.

I intensify the rolls even more when I realize that I can come, I already feel the feeling of weakness coming within me, while I squeeze the chest with some of the man's hair and I end up reaching orgasm seconds later. I believe he does too.

My body slumped onto the bed in exhaustion as I panted trying to get my breathing back to normal.

The man comes closer and tries to touch my lips, but I push him away again.

“It won't go beyond that. I say standing up and running my hand over a towel that was there.

I go into the bathroom to wash off the traces of what I've just done.

This isn't the first time I've had sex with a stranger anywhere. I'm always on the go no matter where.

If they ask me questions I answer with silence. No name, no address, no conversation or promises that we'll see each other again. I've already lost count of how many penises entered and left my vagina and honestly, I don't care about their names.

I finish showering and wring out my long blond hair so the water will run off. I wrap my body in the towel and stop in front of the mirror, running my hand over it to see my reflection.

I'm in chaos. The dark circles under my blue eyes betray the sleepless nights I have. My skin has some blemishes, the result of something I don't even know about. Life has not been kind to me, ever. Therefore, I decided not to be nice to her.

“Sfortunata puttana!” I mutter and adjust the towel, leaving the bathroom.

Before I even get to the hotel room I ended up in, I hear the man's voice on the phone.

"Leave it to me, Papa, she can't get away." I will take you back.

Figlio di...

I should have known he was suspicious when he invited me out for a drink at the club. He seemed uninterested in anything since everyone was asking obvious questions.

Without a sound, I run my hand over my dress that is on the bed. I can't get caught, he can't get his filthy hands on me, I'm never coming back.

I go to the exit door and lightly touch the handle. Thank you for not squeaking. I open it slowly, I can even see the hallway of the shabby place where I am, but I can't get out, because the man's hands push the door slamming, and the other throws me away.

"Going somewhere?" he asks

I try to run, but the room is bereft of space. The man holds me trying to drag me to a room where he can keep me in a hurry, but I won't allow it.

With my elbow, I hit his chin making him wobble and thus free me, but it doesn't last long. Before I can even close the bathroom door, he reaches me, pulling my hair and hitting my head against the same mirror as before, which shatters everywhere, making me dizzy and fall to the floor, taking a few shards with me.

Blood oozes out as I try to lift my body in a desperate search for an escape.

" Huh! You're a lot of work, dear". He says as he positions himself on top of me. "Dad said I could use brute force if I had to, but that I'd have to take it."

I try to move, but I'm too weak at the moment.

The man doesn't miss the opportunity to try to touch me, even though he just did it a few minutes ago.

“Let's see what we've got here…” He pulls my breast out, but I smack him in the face, making his neck twist. "Cagna!" he revolts and punches my face making me lose a little more strength.

He squints his eyes shut, fighting the urge to close his eyes and fall asleep, but it comes on like a drag, taking me in gradually.

I want to give up, maybe I've never wanted to give up as much as I am now. My body is exhausted, my mind is heavy.

I'm tired of running.

Maybe I should go back to his arms, live what he wants for me.

I'm just going to sleep for a second...

“Amore mio, svegliati!”

I don't know how long I blacked out, but the voice in my head made me open up eyes in time to see the man rip off his pants.

An error.

Carelessness.

My hands are free to move as needed.

I want to give up, but not today!