Hot Night Calls More

If you'd told me I'd have phone sex with the woman of my dreams on the day I met her, I'd have thought you were nuts.

If you'd told me I'd fall in love with her before even meeting her, I'd have simply laughed at you.

If you'd told me I'd have sex with more than 20 women in the three weeks between talking to her for the first time and actually meeting her - all with her blessing - well, then I might have been speechless.

Then I would have laughed at you and called you nuts.

I guess that's why we're not usually informed of the unbelievable things that are going to happen to us before they actually occur. They're just that - unbelievable - before they happen.

Oddly enough, this whole thing happened because of perhaps the most innocent thing you could ever imagine.

**********

It was a simple phone call to my mother.

I did this every now and again - call my mom at work in the middle of the day. No Oedipus complex or anything; I'm just very much a momma's boy, and since the Marine Corps had stopped dipping its bucket into my well three days ago, I didn't have a lot to do. I figured giving my mom a call would be as good a way as any to kill five minutes.

After all, I was sure she would welcome any break from ensuring that the specialized taco flippers of the world were properly compensated for their single-digit IQ efforts.

Only, my mom didn't answer the phone at the Taco Bell office building, and neither did Betsy, the middle-aged woman who worked down the hall from her. Instead, someone new answered.

"Taco Bell offices, this is Kelly, how can I help you?"

The voice instantly stunned me. I opened my mouth, closed it, opened it again, croaked out something that didn't even remotely resemble English, and then coughed.

"Hello?" the voice said again.

This time I cleared my throat, so as not to sound like a moron again.

"Hi. Sorry, didn't expect anyone to answer the phone that fast, and my mouth was full." It was a blatant lie, and she probably knew it. This wouldn't be my last conversation with her, but it would be the last lie I told her.

Well, almost.

"It's okay. What can I do for you?"

The voice struck me again, but this time I was prepared for it. I didn't think she was trying to sound sultry, but it was working either way. She could have been an operator on one of those sex lines - yeah, I know, most of those are men using voice changers, but still - because her voice sounded that good. No hint of an accent, so I guessed she was a native.

"It's Kelly, right?" I said, hoping to get myself back on solid ground.

"Yeah. Who is this?"

"Hi, Kelly. I'm Brad Carver."

"Related to Linda somehow, I'm guessing?

"That I am. Is she around?"

I was a bit surprised someone besides my mom or Betsy answered the phone.

"Actually, she's in a meeting right now. I can take a message for her, though."

"Are you a new person they just hired over there?"

"No, actually I'm an assistant manager at one of the stores. I was just in the office to pick up some things, but the whole staff - Linda, Betsy, Ron, everyone - they all went into a meeting. I'm off today so they asked me to watch the phone."

"Ah. Lucky you," I replied. "Well, I'm Linda's son. Was really just calling to say hi for a few minutes. I'm kind of like you - I'm off today and I'm bored."

"Well, I was going to take a message for her, but you can keep talking to me until they're done. It shouldn't be too long now."

Nice. A come-on, maybe?

"Sounds like a plan."