Once Abused, Now Loved

Hara suffered from her mate's cheating when she was still pregnant with his child. She was so hurt that she escaped from the pack and worked part-time as a waitress in a nearby bar. She met Ryder who was the owner of the bar. He was the Alpha of the Red cross pack, the strongest pack in the werewolf kingdom. Upon seeing the pregnant Hara who was also his fated mate, he unknowingly falls in love with her. Everything gets further twisted when Hara's first mate asks for a second chance. What would Hara's ultimate decision be - stay with Ryder or go back to the arms of the man she once loved?

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Having him so close was all it took to break my resolve and have me yearning anew for him. His hands possessively wrapped around my waist brings me crushing into him.

I look up and our foreheads caressed each other's. He shuts his eyes with a harsh growl that would have had any other werewolf weak in the knees.

"If you leave, if you leave, Hara-" I see he's struggling to get the words out. I cup his face and gave him butterfly kisses. He sighs softly and continues, "If you leave, you taking my heart with you, leaving me with nothing but grief and loneliness. My Wolf can't be apart from his mate, and I can't be apart from you,"

"Ryder..."

"You're mine, Hara. From the moment I set my eyes on you, I knew it. And every single time I fucked you shitless, that was me, leaving a statement that You're mine, only mine..."

CHAPTER ONE. PREGNANT AND SAD.

Tears streamed down my eyes, dropping rapidly on the pregnancy kit I held. Again, I checked and yeah, the two lines were still glaring at me.

Was this really happening ? I didn't wanna believe it. It was crazy - how quick one's reality changes.

A glimpse of my reflection in the mirror and my heart sank. The doubts at the back of my mind eluded me. Beneath my usual gloomy looks, short blonde hair and eyes dimmer from much crying laid the signs that I was indeed expecting a child.

The darker circles beneath my eyes. The slight paleness of my face. I should have known sooner that these changes meant a lot.

A sob escaped me at the realization that it indeed was happening. My hand went to my stomach in a reflex, rubbing it softly.

Having a baby was a dream-come-true to a lot of mated female werewolves. I've witnessed a few throw a party and gush endlessly on what a beautiful baby they'd have. Some of these parties I've attended.

But right now, throwing a party and gushing over my sudden pregnancy was the last thing on my mind.

I was wallowing in self-pity and the only thing on my mind was to call Hailey, the only friend I had. I grabbed my phone from the table and dialed her number. She picked on the second ring.

"Hara, what happened? I've been so worried. No calls. No text. Are you alright?" Her voice held more fears than worries. "I thought...My God, I thought he'd killed you or something..." She whispered with a sob.

"I'm alive, for now." I paused, gulping down the tears that formed a lump in my throat. "Hailey, I-I took...''Tears clouded my vision and I blinked them down. "I took a test,"

"A test? Why?"

"I was-uh-feeling kinda sick and funny so I thought I should take a test. And I haven't seen my period in a while, so..."

There was silence. But I could hear both our hearts beating so loudly.

"You took a pregnancy test?" She asked, almost like a statement. I could hear the tension in her voice. The same tension I'd felt when I was taking the test.

"Yes, Hailey. I took a pregnancy test."

"And?"

Again, I shut my eyes at the torrent of tears that came at them. When they fell, I opened my eyes again. "I'm pregnant, Hailey. I'm fucking pregnant!"

"Oh God!" She cries. Of course, she knows what i'll-fates awaits me now. It will be worse than the nightmare I've been living in for five years.

"I'm perplexed, to say the least. I still don't understand how the hell I'm having a baby. I thought babies came from a bond filled with lovin' and caring. All I have with Roland is nothing but pains. Why would a baby come from it?"

"Hara, c'mon. You have to be realistic. Babies come from sex and that's something you and Roland do a lot,"

Right. Sex. More like, rape. Because more than half of the times we got intimate, he'd done it so forcefully and against my will. And at the end came the torture and beatings. Most times, I ended up unconscious and woke up at a remote hospital downtown, away from anyone who knew us.

Roland was a devil, but a very meticulous and smart one. He was one hell of a hypocrite too and a liar. Been five years we became mates, and each day of my life had been hell.

In public, we portray an epitome of a happy bond, blessed exclusively by the goddess. But within closed doors, he pounds my pussy like a monster and beats me to a pup. It was worse that I had no one to talk to, but even if I did, I was too scared to ruin his good reputation.

Telling everyone he was in fact, a monster would taint the reputation he was trying so hard to protect.

It was stupid of me, but in the very least, I still care about him alot. That's what makes all these even more pathetic.

I'd met Hailey coincidentally at the hospital in one of many visits. She'd witnessed Roland forcing himself on me in my sick state. She'd confronted him about it and he'd run off. Ever since then, she'd stayed in touch. She was the only one I had, but she was human.

Our pack, Red moon, has a peace treaty with humans and so, we coexist in a way.

It was one of the peaceful things about our pack and the only reason I could keep my best friend.

"Are you gonna tell him about the baby?" She asks.

"Should I?"

"God, no. Don't. Your mate is a maniac. God knows what he's gonna do to you if he finds out about the baby. You gotta keep this one away from him, Hara,"

"What if he sniffs it out? He's my mate, remember? He feels every inch of me. Hiding this pregnancy would be one hell of an impossible task,"

"Then cloak the baby with your mind or hide it away from the part of you he can access. I don't know, think of something. You're the werewolf, not me,"

I roll my eyes at her incessant thinking that we, werewolves, are meant to do even the impossible. There's no ending as to her imaginations about my kind.

"I'm a werewolf, not a god or a goddess, Hailey. There are things I can't do, "

"So what now?" Her voice had dejection written all over it. "What happens to you?"

"I don't know, but I'm scared. It's times like this that makes me badly wish I had some sort of family left. Maybe a distant cousin, or an aunt. Anything. I could use some family lovin' right now,' ' Saying those words made me hurt even more. I've been on my own without a family since I was 10. My parents and blood relatives had died in a massive explosion when they'd gone hunting in the woods. It was a tragedy which claimed a lot of lives in our pack.

Ever since then, it's been just me and me alone. And then Roland happened.

"No matter how you think about this, there's just two things to do. Abort the baby..."

"I don't think I'd be able to do such a horrible thing," I shuddered at the thought of killing my unborn child.

That would make me a monster.

"...or keep the baby and leave Roland. Disappear. Run away!"

I froze at her words. Run away? Abandon...Roland? The words seemed more terrific than aborting a baby.

In five years, I'd contemplated leaving Roland once a month or a week, but each time the thought came, I died a little more inside. Roland might be my nightmare, but he's the only one I've got.

It was the feeling of attachment, the dread of not wanting to be alone again, that keeps me by his side regardless. Leaving him would be disastrous to me, I might not be able to bear it.

I needed him to feel alive. Without him next to me, I'd feel numb, empty, worthless. Hailey thinks I'm psychologically sick and emotionally damaged, but it is what it is.

I can't leave Roland, even if he goes down in history as the most abusive mate.

"I know what you're thinking, Hara, but you gotta stop this silliness. It's not just you anymore. You've got a life growing inside of you and it's your duty to keep it away from danger. And as far as I know, no one poses as much threat to it as Roland does,"

"But I can't leave Roland!"

"And why not?! Because you love him?"

I didn't confirm her words but I didn't oppose it either. Whatever I felt for Roland was complicated. It could be love, or just a strong feeling of attachment. I'm not sure, but it was strong, and goes beyond our mate-bond.

"Sooner or later, you'd be begging to leave him. I just hope it won't be too late for you, Hara."

The loud footsteps down the hallway jerked me off my chair and sent my phone crashing to the floor.

I hurried to my bed and pretended to be asleep, covering myself with the duvet.

Deep down, I prayed to the moon Goddess, not for myself, but for the child in my womb. Let it be safe until I figure out what to do with it.

Just then, I heard her giggling and his harsh breathing and moaning. The door threw open and they crashed to the floor, him on top of her.

I sat up, watching the scandalous scene with teary eyes. My heart hurt like it'd been ripped in two. He wasn't just cheating on me with one of his human-whores, but he'd gone as far as bringing her to our home.

I watched him kissing her so wildly and squeezing her boobs in such a crushing manner. Then he broke the kiss, and got to his feet, staggering to me.

My eyes shone in fright and I was already crying, rubbing my hands in plea.

"Hey, Hun. Guess what? I brought a guest. So how about we do a threesome?" He laughed hoarsely, his gaunted body shaking from how hard he was laughing.

"No, please. Don't do this, Roland. Please..."

"You know I hate it when you plead like this..." He tore the duvet away from my body, revealing my transparent, nightgown. "And don't you try to keep my pussy away from me. Now, unclad and spread those legs. We have a long night ahead."

At that moment, leaving him didn't sound so disastrous anymore. With every move I made to unclad, came the thought of abandoning this hell and the devil who ruled it.