Here Comes The Harpers

Here Comes The Harpers

Johanna Delacruz

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The Harper cousins thought they had life figured out until they became fathers to rambunctious boys. Matt, Markus, and Mason found out that fatherhood isn't what they expected. With the Gray DNA, there's bound to be chaos as hilarity ensues with parenthood. The Harper cousins will navigate fatherhood with the help of their spouses and family. Did I mention the grandparents are a set of crazy quints? With this bunch, all bets are off. Author: Johanna Delacruz Publisher:i&i Publisher

Chapter 1 No.1

Here Comes the Harpers

����Elias

����I stood on the ground as Bradley Wilson hung upside down from the swings. Someone tapped me as I looked at Owen.

������You know our dads will hurt us when they find out what we did,�� Owen said.

������The twit should have kept his hands off, Deacon.�� I shrugged.

����Bradley moved his lips and waved his arms, but I looked at him with boredom. Why do people think yelling at me works? I��m deaf and turned off my hearing aids. Silence is golden, and in Brad��s case, necessary.

����Let me explain a few key details. My name is Elias Harper. I��m Nora and Matthew Harper��s oldest boy and was born deaf. Nate and Deacon are my dipshit brothers. Nate enjoys a beat-down because he doesn��t leave me alone. Deacon can��t stay out of trouble because, well, he��s Deacon and a dumbass.

����Someone tapped my back. I turned to see Dad standing there, shaking his head. He pointed at my ears. I rolled my eyes and turned on my hearing aids.

������Why?�� Dad asked me.

������Why not?��?

������I have to bail you out when you get into a fight with the Wilson kids, Elias. Do you want to end up in juvie?��?

������Are you threatening me with a fun time?��?

����Never ask my dad that question. He lacks a sense of humor while dragging me home, using my shirt as leverage. What can I say? I��m my father��s child or someone else��s child. My bet is on Cousin Markus. Shh, don��t tell Dad.

����?

����*****

����?

����Matt

����When I thought about having kids, I didn��t plan on having three unruly boys with smartass mouths. I questioned Nora if she had a secret fling with Markus. My question earned me a look from her.

����I dragged Elias into the house as Nora came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. Nate and Deacon came walking down the hallway, saw me, then turned.

������Freeze!�� I said, making the boys stop. I released Elias and shoved him at his brothers. ��Which one of you pain in the asses caused this mess with Bradley Wilson?��

����Elias and Nate pointed at Deacon. I gave my boys a skeptical look. So much for them having each other��s backs.

������Look, stay away from the Wilson boys. It��s bad enough I have to deal with their asshole father,�� I told the boys.

������Well, he created asshole sons,�� Nate said.

����I gave Nate a look as Elias smacked him upside the head.

������In my defense,�� Deacon said.

������You don��t have a defense. You��re twelve and might not live to see thirteen,�� I told Deacon. ��You��re all grounded until we get sick of you hanging around the house.��?

����The boys groaned and stormed to their rooms as they fought on their way. I heard giggling and glanced at Nora.

������It��s your fault. You forgot the raincoats,�� Nora told me.

������I still say Markus had something to do with this.��?

����Nora threw a candy dish at my head, and I ducked. Then she went into the kitchen.

������Love you!�� I spoke.

������Screw you!��?

����Here��s what I learned about parenthood. It��s a damn trap. You start with these sweet angels who turn into holy terrors. You hope they don��t kill each other. That was dreaming on our part.

����Welcome to fatherhood.

����?

����*****

����?

����Markus

����A crash resounded from the bedroom. I checked to see what the boys did now and found a broken bed with Jayden and Kayden standing there. I put my hand over my face and shook my head.

������Why?�� I asked, lowering my hand.

������Well, I told Jayden to catch me. He missed. The bed was a casualty,�� Kayden said.

������Did it ever occur to you that beds are for sleeping and not part of the circus? Oh, I forgot, this is my circus, and you��re my monkeys,�� I said.

������We��re not monkeys,�� Jayden said, looking at Kayden, who shrugged.

����Okay, I should explain something. Hayden and I adopted twin boys. We thought, hey, let��s have a family. We didn��t know the twins would be the dimmest bulbs in the pack.

����Matt said it was payback for my secret rendezvous with Nora. Matt��s an idiot, but I digress. I��m sure Matt was there when he knocked up Nora. While I dealt with Tweedledum and Tweedle dumber, Mason had his hands full.

����?

����*****

����?

����Mason

������Are you shitting me?�� I asked.

������I don��t think that��s possible,�� Owen said.

������It��s possible but doubtful,�� Oliver said.

������Stop talking,�� I said, ready to throttle my boys. ��Who told you it��s a fantastic idea to hang Bradley Wilson on the swing set?��

������I shall not tell a lie. It was Nash,�� Owen said.

����I wanted to hurt Owen. My boys can��t tell the truth if it bit them in the ass.

������That is a lie. It was Grayson,�� Oliver said.

����I glared at my boys, who stood there like they did nothing wrong. ��You��re grounded and never seeing the light of day.��?

������What?�� They asked. ��That��s not fair!��

������Then tell the damn truth for once in your godforsaken lives!�� I spoke.

������Well, I guess grounding it is,�� Owen said.

����I want to hurt my boys, but Skylar won��t let me. If they don��t end up in the clink, it��ll surprise me. If I survive the teen years, I��ll be lucky. If my boys survive it, it��ll be one hell of a miracle.

����?

����*****

����?

����Casey

����I came home to hear yelling and swearing. I tried to sneak out when Larissa caught me. I turned to face my wife. ��Hi, Hunny.��?

������Don��t hi, Hunny, me. Do you know what our boys did?��?

������No, but I��m sure you��ll tell me.��?

������They super glued the teacher to his seat and got suspended.��?

������We hung banshees on a basketball net.��?

����She pursed her lips and gave me a look.

����The boys waited for me to say something.

������You��re grounded,�� I said.

������What?�� Nash asked.

������It was your idea!�� Grayson said.

����Larissa crossed her arms.

������Well, uh, um, bye,�� I said, leaving. Yeah, I��m not dealing with that train wreck I call my sons. I know I��ll catch hell later. Sometimes, a father needs a break.

����I met with Matt, Markus, and Mason. When things get too rough at home with the boys, we escape. Yeah, our spouses would hurt us later, but it was worth it.

����Here comes the Harpers, and then some.

����?

����

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