Shabanas Submission

Two years ago

When I was a small kid, I always wanted a perfect family where we would always be happy. We would go to parks, my parents would teach me how to ride a bicycle, we would have weekend plans, go to picnics and most importantly enjoy time with each other but all my dreams and hopes shattered into pieces when I first saw my father beating my mother. For a five-year-old, you can easily understand how it was for me. It hit me hard like I was daydreaming and fell off the bed on the cold hard floor.

I don't know what happened that day but from then on my heart started losing its pieces and I couldn't keep it together. Do not get me wrong, I tried and I tried my best to make our family really happy but it was not that simple...

The fights between my parents increased as me and my elder brother Jason, got older and the next thing I knew, I was pushing them away from me. It did not help when I came to know that my father never wanted me, he wanted another son in the Dawson family. So I started pushing him away from me. My mother wanted a girl alright but I guess she did not want me but still she was the one with whom I communicated most.

Lastly my brother...he, you would expect that out of all the shit stuff that happened, he would at least support me but turns out he was more interested in the assets and the numbers. He never liked me and I don't know why but he always tried to degrade me like I am a worthless "luggage".

The friends I had were not reliable and always temporary. No one seemed to stick around with me. Maybe because I am anti-social or I never opened up to them. I have always been like the sufferer in silence type. All those years of trauma have done this to me. My father beats me, my brother beats me and my father makes my brother beat me. So now you know why I am the way I am.