Was it worth it

Morning like this, I look back to my past and ask myself "was it worth it? Was I just a fool? Did she ever love me or was it all a lie... maybe all the good memories and happy moments we all in my head, a product of my over imaginative mind, maybe I just conjured up the my wishes and saw them in her even when she was lying in my face

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Three years back.'Mr. Mike opara.... you have been found guilty on the charges of attempted rape and constant abuse of your girlfriend miss Johnson, therefore this court sentence you to three years in prison, your properties would be confiscated after which you would be deported back to your country on that ground of immoral act...........'The balding old white judge read out my verdict. 'But I didn't do it.... I didn't do anything to her , Suzy please tell them the truth for crying out loud' I yell, looking around wildly, why wouldn't they believe me? I never did anything to her, I would never have treated her that way but she sat their, in the first row of the court sit, sniffing and pretending to be I tears and despise.

Till now it still baffles me how she changed so fast, why she would turn against me just because of a little misunderstanding? I thought she was different from the rest, I could vouch she was nothing like those other white women who always victimize their black spouse but once again I was proved wrong about her. Now I only have myself to blame and I wish I had listened to all those warning and stayed away from her. 'Shut up you black ape, you should be happy you got a fair deal instead of rotting behind bars for rest of your miserable life' Mrs. Johnson shuts me up with so much hate and rage in her eyes, she never liked me to begin with and she always made it clear that Suzy deserved better than a 'black ape' like me so I wasn't so hurt by her words, I was used to her demeaning address of me. 'You all have to believe me, I didn't do anything, she tried to force herself on me but I didn't do anything to her!!. 'I argue, screaming loudly at the top of my voice while looking in the direction of the judge and hoping he would see the truth and sincerity in me but he was blinded by sentiment, to him I'm just another black miscreant who assaulted a white and should be prosecuted according to the law for it. Everything happened so fast and I was in a daze, the next thing I knew, my hands where cuffed and I was dragged out of the court room by multitudes of police men who lead me into a waiting van to be taken to prison.... The hell I spent the next two year of my life in misery.*******I spent the next two years of my life in confinement for a crime I never commuted and each day I rued meeting Suzy, I cursed my fate and blamed God for watching me suffer this much... I knew my poor mother back in Nigeria must have gotten a wind of my situation and I can imagine how heartbroken and embarrassed she must be of me... I wished I had listen to her insistent warning to stay away from white girls but I throw her word in the trash as nothing and brought her shame instead. Prison life was rough, tough and hellish but I scaled through. For the first few months I was depressed and lost, I would have killed myself if I had the chance too rather than face the world with misfortune and lost but then three crazy guys came into my life and turned it around real fast. 'Hey buddy! We are going to miss you so much' Joan says, patting me in the back. I never thought I would be saying this but I was going to miss them, miss this prison cell that has become a home for me in the last 24 months... after my terrible ordeal with Suzy, I made up my mind never to have anything to do with whites in my life again, to me they represent nothing but pure bad luck and evil but this three fellow standing in front of me somehow managed to force their way into my life without me realizing it. I will miss you guys too' I replied giving him a hug, Danny and Steve stood far behind with sad smiles, they were happy for me but it doesn't stop us all from being sad. Over the last few months the we have form a strong bind of brotherhood, looking out and being their for each other. 'So you'll be going back to Africa?' "Nigeria i correct Steve who is of the misconception that Africa is a country and that all African speak the same language, he never had the chance to go to school properly because as a young child he was moved from one foster home to the other, his mom was and is still a drunk while his dad abandoned them when he just three years old. Steve took to a life of crime very early in life and became an expert but willingly gave himself up to the police when he realized his life could be in danger from dangerous drug lords who had a score to settle with him. 'Right! Nigeria.... so we will never see you again? 'He asked again. 'Maybe you can come to Nigeria after your prison term 'I try to console him, he was the first person who made it a duty to get to know me regardless of my behaviour towards him. 'If I take a leave out of this place, I would be dead in the next few minutes' He replies casually. "Ooh!' I scratch the back of my head thoughtfully. 'You can write us regularly, Joan would read it to us' Danny is a Mexican with a funny accent, he came here as an illegal immigrants in search of greener pasture, he got arrested for robbing a local store and he has been here since refusing to go back to the street, according to him "I have a roof over my head, and I eat at least twice a day all without paying, what more could I ask for" He's a very funny and lively person who has resigned to fate which is a the exact opposite of Steve with the bad boy vibe. Joan is the most quiet of the group, his story is totally different from our 's. He comes from a middle class family and has been on scholarship all his life all thanks to him being a very bright student, he graduated from college as an honor student and worked for a big insurance firm for a couple of years before he was wrongfully accused of embezzling funds and got jailed. 'Yes, you should write to us, and maybe I would take a trip to Nigeria to see you when I get out' Joan agrees. 'Time's up boys... it's time for the black ape to leave' Officer smith announce, coming into our tiny cell room to crowd it either his bulky figure. He hates blacks so much and he made my life so miserable for the first few months that I was here then I got use to his snide remarks and abuse. 'Its time to go guys, I hope to see you all again' 'Maybe them but not me.... stay safe nigga' Steve says bumping my fist. All the life I tagged the term Nigga as offensive but Steve started calling me that from the first day but never in a demeaning way, in fact it has become some sort of nickname for me .I said my Good bye and was lead away by officer smith to collect what is left of my properties at the prison store. 'Here ape, take your trash' He threw a dirty plastic bag at me, I caught it fast and dig inside to find a a shirt, pair of trouser, sneakers, wrist watch and keys. Those where the things taken from me the day I was arrested at the bar. 'Dress up fast.... a car would be here to take you to the hotel, your flight is due for tomorrow' I couldn't help but thing how fast everything is happening, I was released today and I will be back in Nigeria tomorrow, it leaves a bitter pill in my throat to think of how my fate changes from lucky to being unlucky. 'C'mon move it, I don't have all day ape' He sneers