After Him

After Him

aMIRACLE

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The love that I knew wasn't like the ones written in a book. It wasn't beautiful and magical. It doesn't bring butterflies in my stomach and it doesn't make me feel special. It doesn't feel like home, I do not feel secured. It does not make me feel safe and worthy. The love that I experience doesn't feel like love. I'm not really sure if it is love because it made me doubt, insecure and made me feel unloved. And all I experience was pain. No it was torture. To see him love someone else when all I could do is to love him and let him love her. Now I don't know if I could ever love someone else, After him.

Chapter 2 Veronica Marchella

"Vy, can you give us a minute?" my boyfriend asked me.

"Do I really have to leave you two here?" I asked almost whispering.

I do. But to your feelings about me, I don't know.

"Ah right. Of course I trust you," I faked a laugh as step back and leave them two alone.

I smiled bitterly when I go out. Why in hell did I go with him, knowing she's here? I almost forgot that in those four years we've been together, he never really loved me. He was just doing what his father want for him.

I'm so stupid to believe that I could replace her part on him. So stupid to fall for him.

I don't know why I still fell in love with him knowing that he was just being nice and caring towards me for his fathers' sake. I am still in love with him even though he loves someone else.

I went to the receiving area of the recording studio that is owned by Samantha Nicolas, the woman he loves. Everything feels unreal, it was as if I am invisible and no one cares about me. No one really does.

Nothing new, knowing everyone here was admiring Xavier and Samantha together. And me, I am the antagonist of their story.

I decided to leave the company. But before I could find a taxi, I saw the person I refuse to talk to in here. The only person I don't want to talk with even though he's being nice to me. I don't know why, but my body felt shiver when his eyes met mine.

"Veronica!" I almost roll my eyes when he shouted my name. But still managed to fake a smile on him.

"Hi," I said a bit awkward.

"You're leaving already? Where's Xavier?" he was smiling beautifully at me. He was so tall that I needed to look up to him so we could see each other better.

"He's still up. He needs to talk to Samantha about important things so I leave them two. I am going home now because I still need to do something," I lied about the reason why I need to leave.

I didn't know why we talked to each other so sudden. I knew he was Lucas, I kind of heard his name. Well the truth is, this wasn't the first time I saw him. I already know him, but not personally. I just know something like he was Samantha's driver and they're close. That's why I always acted like I knew him for the first time.

"I can bring you home, if you don't mind?" he was still smiling as he offers me a ride. He was like in a commercial with his beautiful smile.

I refused his offer immediately. As much as possible I don't want to have a long conversation with him.

I don't know why but it doesn't seem right, "No, thank you. I'm fine with a taxi. Samantha might be needing you anytime, I don't want any trouble," I laugh a bit to make it sound like I wasn't trying to avoid him.

"Are you sure? Samantha wouldn't mind that for sure," he said calmly but I still refuse his offer.

"I'm fine don't worry. I'm going now. Thanks for your offer anyways," I said and bid my goodbye to him as I got in the taxi.

I saw him waving at me when I looked at the side mirror of the taxi.

Lucas is nice and kind, always. Even when I first saw him, he's nice and very approachable. He always talks to me and sometimes he spends his time with me while waiting outside the recording room.

When I got home, I dialed my friend's number. I feel like I needed to talk about what I am feeling to lessen the burden.

The past weeks, Xavier's being cold in me. Before he always keep up with me, he's nice and caring.

Maybe it was for his father who had a heart disease but lately he's being short tempered and moody. We also shared a lot of fights the past days because of his mood.

I don't want to think that this is happening now because Samantha came back but I couldn't help myself. Since she came back from Australia, Xavier changed.

I am not dumb too, I may be stupid for loving him while he's in love with someone else but that doesn't mean I wouldn't feel that he still wants her. Besides we're together now because this is what his father want for him.

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