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After Him

Chapter 6 Fear

Word Count: 1043    |    Released on: 01/06/2021

so they didn't notice I am quiet and my mood changed more. T

of any way to avoid it. I am scared with the

t for us when he

hing I knew I am fixing my

e looking like he's thinking about serious things. My steps become slow, I feel like I d

stop since earlier. And when he looked at me, I just h

ility that this would be the last. Fear of the thought

okay. I stayed hugging him for a while to hide my tears. And when I already calmed m

aven't talk or see each other for days," I

u. How are you?" He asked w

, you?" I wanted to clap for myself for acting so

didn't say anything. The smile on his face was adorable. I looked at him and smiled too,

ightly turned to me and smiled. I re

h. I want to watch city lights

e chuckled and tease me. I just

ack I would think that even a bit, Xavier learned to love me or at least like me. But then, we can't be very happy all

our time here to talk and just runaway to the problems that the world and l

ough ups and downs. I am always there f

looking at the city lights. I

s never me but why do he need to do th

at's bothering you right?" h

huckled and slightly mess my hair. I s

ext week," I didn't say anyth

Now we will be releasing it," his voice sounds really

rd our song. I think this would be the start

ugh his eyes. One thing that I admire about him is

for sure we will be having a ch

r him but there's a little pain in my heart, "Y

that?" he asked

to imagine how could I watch your concerts and events, I'm thinking how could I get a nice

line and wait for too long so you could have a nice place to watch us? Aren't you s

sure you guys will have a bunch of

ere gaining admirers, there will be no little place for me in your heart. Knowing now that I only got one riv

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After Him
After Him
“The love that I knew wasn't like the ones written in a book. It wasn't beautiful and magical. It doesn't bring butterflies in my stomach and it doesn't make me feel special. It doesn't feel like home, I do not feel secured. It does not make me feel safe and worthy. The love that I experience doesn't feel like love. I'm not really sure if it is love because it made me doubt, insecure and made me feel unloved. And all I experience was pain. No it was torture. To see him love someone else when all I could do is to love him and let him love her. Now I don't know if I could ever love someone else, After him.”