Let Down

?How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay??

---Beyonce

Aanvi Zenobia Henderson

Today's a new day, I thought as I went through my clothes deciding what to wear. I didn't have much to decide from but I wanted to look my best anyway.

Sighing in frustration, I sat in the pile of clothes now annoyed I couldn't find anything to wear. Grabbing my phone I went to the messenger app clicking on my sister name.

Can't find anything to wear, have fun without me.

I sent the message and leaned back feeling my mood go down. Not even thirty seconds passed before I heard the Facebook call come through. I sighed already knowing who it was.

"Yes?" I answered preparing myself.

"What do you mean you have nothing to wear? Just throw on anything, who are you trying to impress?" Cailee asked.

"Nobody but I still at least want to look presentable."

"Nobi, you'll be perfect if you came with some sweats and a shirt."

I did a closed mouth smile at her compliment and rolled my eyes. I just knew she wasn't going to let this go, I sighed letting her talk me into going out.

I hung up the call trying to pick a outfit out, once again. I barely had clothes or shoes but I only noticed it when it was time to go somewhere. I threw my head back in frustration deciding to go through my mom closet for some jeans.

I picked an all black shirt, with the jeans and high top black and white converses. I looked out hoping my mother wasn't there, after seeing she wasn't I made a beeline for the door.

I started walking to the bus stop looking around clutching the bottom of my shirt. I sat down at the bench where an lady along with her child sat talking to each other. I smiled listening to their conversation, I couldn't wait to have kids of my own.

The bus shortly came as I got on showing the bus driver my bus pass and walking towards the middle looking out the window. I watched as everything passed me getting into deep thought.

I stopped once I saw my stop coming up, I pressed the button still sitting until the bus stopped moving. I said excuse me not wanting anyone to get smart with me today.

I knocked on Lee door seeing her come to the door smiling, I laughed rolling my eyes. It was impossible to be in a bad mood around her, she wouldn't let you even if you tried.

"See look at you, beautiful without even trying sis." She smiled pulling me into a hug.

"Where are we going again?" I asked sitting on the chair in her room.

"Going to the drive in, their playing fifty shades darker then maybe the buffet." She squealed making me sigh.

"How much is the buffet?"

"I think like twelve dollars, why?"

"I only have five and I need two fifty to get home afterwards." I put my head down.

"When have I ever ate without you eating? If I have it then you will always have it. You're my sister and you should never feel any other way."

"Thanks." I smiled still having my head down.

"Alright, our lyft is on the way. How I look? Change my lip color or no?"

Cailee had on a denim button up shirt with ripped jeans, a black and grey fur vest and suede knee high boots. She let the pins go in her hair as the curly weave she had installed went down her back with light pink lip gloss.

"No, you look perfect." I smiled looking at her.

"So do you babe, put this on." She handed me a black and white PINK windbreaker. "You'll get cold later."

"What about you?" I asked putting on the hoodie.

"Hoes don't get cold sis." She winked at me as we busted out in laughter.

She gathered her stuff, putting everything in a MK bag. She turned off her light walking behind me as her heels clacked on the wood. The lyft was waiting outside just as she locked the door, I walked towards the car getting in.

"How you doing ladies?" The lyft man asked looking in the mirror at us.

"We're fine." We said in unison smiling.

"That's good." He returned our smile pulling off. He turned on the radio letting the ads play as I looked out the window seeing the scenery past.

"Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me two times, can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs, load the choppers, let rain on you." I rapped to myself.

"Sis." I looked at Lee calling me to see she was recording as I smiled.

"Fool me one time, shame on you. Fool me two times, can't put the blame on you. Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs, load the choppers, let it rain on you." I shot the camera as she gassed me.

"Let me see." I laughed looking at the snap. "I look cute."

"That you do, I'm posting this." She smiled as the song switched and we automatically looked at each other.

"I don't know how to talk to you, I don't know how to ask if you're okay." We both sung with smiles reaching to our ears.

"And last night, I think I lost my patience. Last night, I got high as expectation." I smiled dancing in my seat.

The car stopped and we thanked the man heading to the drive in. It was semi packed with cars and some people who had blankets on the grass or beach chairs.

"Want snacks?" Lee asked as we looked for a good spot to sit.

"Not yet." I took the blanket putting it down next to a couple who was laughing their butts off.

"They gon annoy me." Lee rolled her eyes sitting down.

"Let people be great." I smirked as she did a dry chuckle.

We grew quiet watching the people set up the screen, once the movie started everything grew silent. I was thankful because I been dying to watch this movie.

"I'm going to get something to eat, you want something?" Lee whispered in the middle of the movie.

"Rotel and some twizzlers." I went in my pocket handing her my five dollars.

"Keep it, what you want to drink?"

"Arizona, don't matter which one." I shrugged.

"Alright."

I bit my lip and smirked watching their sex scene, feeling myself getting worked up. I leaned back never taking my eyes off the screen, I felt Lee sit next to me as she handed my drink and food.

"Thank you." I mumbled pushing it off to the side.

"You welcome." A deep voice said making me jump and quickly sit up looking over.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked looking around for Lee with my heart pounding against my chest.

"Calm down, Lee talking to my brother but she didn't want to have you starving and I ain't wanna third wheel so I offered."

"I'm going to curse her out." I rolled my eyes. "What's your name?"

"They call me Mitch." He held out his hand as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I don't do nicknames." I stated shaking his hand noticing the tattoo of the clock inside a rose with dark shading. I was still looking at the tattoo, in love with the artwork. I held his hand then let it go after a few minutes, noticing I was holding it too long.

I looked in his face smirking at how good he looked, the moon reflected off his perfect dark skin as I noticed his blemish free face, he was glowing. His waves were making me sea sick the longer I looked, his teeth showed that he never missed his six month checkup. He kept his self up well and everything about him just screamed stay away. He was the type of handsome to make a stranger stop and stare

"Zephyr." He looked directly in my eyes making me shiver. "What's your name?"

"Nobi."

"So I can't tell you my nickname but you could tell me yours?" He raised a eyebrow.

"We two different people." I moved my finger between us.

"That's how you coming?" He asked with amusement in his eyes making me do a quick chuckle.

"Yeah." I nodded looking at my shoes noticing him wearing the latest Jordan's. "I like your shoes, how tall are you?"

"6'5." He told me making me look up at him quickly.

Something has too be wrong, he's too perfect, I thought as I sat there with my mouth ajar.

He chuckled, licking his lips "What? Why you staring?"

"Nothing." I shook my head looking at the screen as Christian was opening his gift.

Throughout the rest of the movie, I felt Zephyr looking at me but every time I looked at him he would be on his phone. Once the movie went off, I gathered my trash waiting until he got up so I could fold the blanket up.

"Do you know where my sister and your brother are?" I asked folding the blanket under my arm.

"I texted him, he said to meet them by the car." I nodded throwing my trash in the garbage can. "Lemme get that for you."

He grabbed the blanket from under my arm before I could say anything, I let him do him beginning to follow him. I ate my twizzlers in silence watching the people around me, which was a habit of mine that I couldn't break.

"So how old are you?" I asked making conversation.

"20, you?"

"17."

"You still in high school?"

"Yeah, this is my last year. When's your birthday?"

"February 14th." He said making me look up at him. "Yeah yeah I know, I've heard it all before-"

"It's not that, February 14th is my birthday."

"You lying, yo that's crazy." He shook his head as we approached an all white Mercedes-Benz. I gawked at the car in admiration not even noticing Lee talking to me.

"Helllo? Earth to Nobi?" She waved in my face as I noticed all eyes on me.

I slapped her hand out my face not liking that. "My bad, what?"

"Sef was speaking to you." Lee laughed.

"Wassup Nobi?" He spoke giving me a hug.

"My bad, my head was just everywhere. Hey Seffy." I smiled knowing he hate that name then looked towards Lee. "We leaving?"

"Yusef wanted to eat at this restaurant but if you tired and wanna go home then we can." She shrugged.

"I could eat." I said obviously not wanting to cockblock.

"Aight, it's lit then." Yusef smiled.

Zephyr opened my door making me thank him as I slid in the passenger seat with Lee behind me. He made sure I was in my seatbelt before he pulled off quickly as I side eyed him.

"You got any preferences?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Huh?"

"In music?"

"Oh I listen to anything, from pop to rap. All I do is listen to music so I'll know any song." I shrugged.

"So if I play this song, you gon know it?" He challenged.

"Most likely." I smirked challenging back.

"You heard that Sef?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

"Yeah, let's see if she all talk." They laughed.

Zeph waited until we were at a red light to plug his phone in the aux cord, he was typing but looked up and smirked then went back to typing making me laugh and raise a eyebrow. I heard the beat and laughed knowing the song.

"I thought you were about to play some gangster trap type music." I laughed.

"Nah, you said anything."

"I'm hurting baby, I'm broken down. I need your loving, I need it now. When I'm without you, I'm something weak. You got me begging, I'm on my knees." I sung to him as he glanced at me then at the road with a wide smile.

"Sugar, your sweet. Will you come and put it down on me? I'm right here-"

"Stopp!" Lee and I laughed cutting him off as she recorded him.

"Both of y'all sound bad." Yusef remarked laughing just as Zephyr pulled into a parking lot.

The restaurant was lined up with cars, letting me know this was a popular place. As we walked in, I looked around seeing the nice decor. The restaurant gave off chill vibes as everyone ate and listened to the r&b music that played lowly.

"I like this, y'all come here often?" I asked still looking around.

"We've been coming here for years." Yusef answered shrugging as a white girl walked over to us.

"Hey Sef and Zeph." She smiled giving them hugs then putting her attention on us. "Hi ladies."

Her name tag read, Hailey, she was pretty. She had blonde box braids and a touch of makeup on, I liked the box braids on her. I unintentionally looked her up and down making Lee nudge my shoulder.

"Don't take it personal, it's a rude ass habit of hers." Lee told her.

"It's okay." She shrugged walking us to a booth.

Lee waited until I slid in the booth to slide in next me, Zeph sat across from me as Yusef resided next to him. I looked at the menu looking it over seeing so many choices.

"What's good here?" I asked looking at Zephyr as he stared at some female.

Unintentionally, I looked over seeing the beautiful ass girl he was staring at. Her boobs were damn near spilling out her shirt and her body was to die for. Just looking at her made my insecurities ride out, I put my head down rolling my eyes.

"What you say?" Zephyr asked looking towards me.

"Nothing." I rolled my eyes looking through the menu.

"You know what you gon order?" Lee asked as I shook my head indecisive.

"Everything looks so good."

"You should try the lamb, it's real good." Yusef spoke.

"Ew." Lee and I said in unison. "If it didn't come from a pig, chicken or cow, I don't want it."

"I'll make you change your mind on that if I take you to this popping ass Jamaican spot, they curry goat something different." Zephyr stated.

"I'll pass." I smiled putting my menu down finally deciding what I wanted. Zeph furrowed his eyebrows and opened his mouth to speak but a woman cut him off instead.

"Zephyr, Yusef y'all finally decide to come visit y'all favorite auntie." She smiled putting her hand on Yusef shoulder.

"You know we couldn't stay away for too long." Yusef stood up to hug her smiling from ear to ear.

"Wassup beautiful?" Zephyr had an identical smile but his was actually reaching his ears making me almost smile.

"Who are these beauties?" She asked looking at us with the smile still on her face.

"Zenobia." I smiled reaching to shake her hand.

"Cailee." She shook her hand.

"I'm these knuckleheads aunt, Yvonne. I run this so your meal free." She smiled at us with her country ass accent before looking at her nephews. "Y'all come see me in my office before y'all leave. Nice meeting y'all."

"You too." Lee and I smiled in unison.

A few minutes later, an employee came to take our order. I watched Lee and Yusef talk off a storm before drifting into my own thoughts. Zephyr excused his self from the table and two minutes later the girl with the big boobs went in the same direction. I shook my head putting two and two together instantly putting myself down, why did I think I even had a chance?

I sighed asking Lee can I see her phone, she passed it to me as I logged onto my Snapchat watching my own videos. I smiled at my own snaps as if they were someone elses.

Just as the food came, Zephyr came back to the table rubbing his hands together. I looked at him in disgust eating my baked macaroni, I put a picture on Snapchat then finished eating.

"Taste this." Zephyr offered making me look over to him.

"What is that?"

"Baked lamb chops."

"I don't want it."

"Just try it and if you don't like it then I apologize."

I shrugged my shoulders seeing no harm in it, he held out his fork so I can take a piece but I cut a piece with my fork instead. I didn't know where his mouth been, so I wasn't eating off of him.

"So how is it?" Yusef asked with a smile as I slowly chewed it.

"It's actually not that bad, not bad at all." I laughed taking another piece.

"This why I ordered extra." Zephyr laughed putting a lamb chop on my plate.

"Thank you." I mumbled cutting a piece with my hands.

"You don't like meeting new people." Zephyr looked at me.

"Is that a statement or question?" I asked confused.

"A little bit of both I guess."

"Well no I don't. Lee is the more talkative one out of us, I don't like attention or people at all."

"I noticed, you like people to walk before you and you like staying quiet or let people answer for you."

"Nice observant skills, should be a detective." I sarcastically remarked drinking my pink lemonade.

"I also know when someone starts acting funny towards me, what I do this fast?"

I stared at him squinting my eyes, this young man swore he was psychic. He licked his lips and leaned forward matching my stare.

"You did nothing to me." I shrugged.

"So then why-"

"Wassup Zeph and Sef?" The girl Zeph snuck off with and two of her friends stood in front of us giggling like airheads.

"Siss-"

"Shut up Lee." I cracked a smile knowing she couldn't hold her tongue for long.

"Wassgood Ashlyn, Cassie and Redd?" Sef spoke returning their smiles. "What y'all on?"

"Nothing y'all know we love some Yvonne's, had to stop by before we went to the club." The girl Ashlyn spoke.

As they went into conversation I started recording myself for Snapchat. "Sis." I called out making Lee look up as she posed and stuck her tongue out for the video. I laughed posting it then texting some people back.

"So what is this? A double date?" The girl Redd asked looking exactly at Zeph.

"Why is it your business?" Lee asked making me shake my head, I knew it couldn't be long before she said anything.

Sef looked at her shaking his head as I looked at the girl Cassie rolling her eyes. I did a slight chuckle then continued replying back to people until Redd said something to me.

"You're pretty, isn't she Zeph?"

"Nah, she beautiful." Zeph looked over at me making me put my head down hiding my flushed face.

"Look you got her blushing, she a little younger than you usually go for but-"

"Stop what you doing." Zeph cut her off staring at her blankly.

"I'm just being friendly." She smiled rubbing his arm up and down. "We're going to be late, bye Sef and company. Zeph, I'll see you later on."

I did a little chuckle continuing to eat the baked mac and cheese, that I'm falling in love with. Once my plate was almost clear Sef and Lee excused themselves from the table, leaving Zeph and I.

"Redd is-"

"You don't owe me an explanation, I don't know you to be all in your business."

He stood up taking Lee seat putting his arm over my chair, staring directly into my eyes as I put my attention elsewhere. I hated eye contact.

"You liked your food?" I asked the first thing that slipped since he was still staring.

"Yeah, I always enjoy my food here. What about you?"

"I loved it, especially this baked mac and cheese."

"I'll tell Von to give you some to take home, you should try their strawberry chocolate brownies."

"That sound so good." I damn near drooled.

"Or the peach cobbler or apple pie."

"Stop naming stuff." I laughed. "I want everything but-"

"I could make that happen." He cut me off flagging down an waitress.

After ordering a to-go macaroni and plenty of desserts, we made conversation. I liked his mentality and how he thought, most of his responses would have my heart beating fast or have me stuck. I liked him but I wasn't going to get too serious in my feelings.

"You good? You ready to go?" Lee asked coming back interrupting our conversation, I was going to say no but something was off about her.

"Yeah, come on." I squinted my eyes noticing Sef didn't come back with her.

"Where my brother?" Zeph asked just as confused as I am.

"I don't know and don't care, I'm bout to order our Lyft sis."

"That nigga took my car keys?" Zeph asked feeling on his self then sucking his teeth.

"Yeah."

"Aight, well y'all don't have to get no Lyft I'll take y'all. Wait for me outside."

He got up going towards the kitchen as I tried to catch up with Lee. She looked pissed off like she wanted to beat someone ass. I wasn't going to say anything unless I had to.

We waited a whole ten minutes until Zeph came out with keys in his hand. He guided us to a red Toyota Corolla opening the passenger seat for me and the back seat for Lee.

"Thank you." We said in unison.

"Who's car?" I asked.

"Von's, I just gotta come back to pick her up."

I nodded as he turned on the radio and let it play lowly following the directions to Lee house. Since she was upset she didn't make conversation and stayed out of ours.

"I apologize for anything my idiot of a brother did to you." Zeph spoke as he pulled in front of her house.

"Fuck him." She rolled her eyes. "Thank you for the ride though, you didn't have to do that."

"No problem Lee."

"Call me when you in the house sissy, take care of my sister Zeph." She pointed at him then kissed me on my cheek.

He waited until she was fully in the house to pull off, once he stopped at a red light he turned to look at me then at his phone. I watched him send a message to someone then turn back to me.

"How far you live from her?"

"Maybe ten to fifteen minutes." I shrugged.

"Oh alright, you had fun tonight?" He asked after a minute or two passed.

"I mean I had better days." I laughed making him laugh. "Just kidding, I did enjoy myself tonight."

"We could do this again?" He glanced, catching me off guard. "You said it yourself, you enjoyed tonight so it should be no reason you say no, right?"

I looked down in my lap contemplating on biting my tongue or not, my mouth betraying my thoughts quickly spoke saying exactly what I was thinking.

"So you can fuck another girl not even thirty minutes in again?" I spoke shaking my head at myself, I was so outspoken.

"What?" He scrunched his face up looking at me not focusing on the road.

"I didn't mumble nor stutter."

"Okay but I'm confused, you said again, when did I fuck the first girl?"

"I hate when people play stupid, that annoy me more than lying?. You know what you did." I rolled my eyes feeling myself getting aggravated.

"No I'm real life not playing, I don't know what you talking about."

"So tonight when we first walked in you didn't basically eye fuck that girl with the big titties then meet her in the bathroom?"

He was still squinting his eyes making me roll mine, I know he knew what I was talking about. I grew aggravated at the fact that he couldn't just man up to it.

"I mean it doesn't matter anyway, it's not like we were going to magically fall in love. I have no right questioning you as you have every right to do what you want."

"Nobi, you have everything all wrong."

"As I said no hard feelings, right?" I smiled getting out the car as he parked grabbing my food. "Thank you for the ride."

He was going to say something but I closed the door instead, I walked up the stairs and rung the doorbell waiting for my mom to open the door. Once she did I waved at him watching him pull off.

"Who's that?" My mom asked once we were in.

"A Lyft." I lied.

"Okay, I'm going to sleep I suggest you do the same, you have school in the morning."

"Alright, night." I mumbled walking to my room.

I took off my clothes and got into bed feeling exhausted. I had a long day and all I want to do is sleep until I was forced to get back up.