Rejected Addresses

Rejected Addresses

James Smith

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This is a pre-1923 historical reproduction that was curated for quality. Quality assurance was conducted on each of these books in an attempt to remove books with imperfections introduced by the digitization process. Though we have made best efforts - the books may have occasional errors that do not impede the reading experience. We believe this work is culturally important and have elected to bring the book back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide.

Rejected Addresses Chapter 1 LOYAL EFFUSION.

By W. T. F.

[WILLIAM THOMAS FITZGERALD.]

[Mr. Fitzgerald died 9th July, 1829, aged 70.]

"Quicquid dicunt, lando: id rursum si negant,

Lando id quoque." Terence.

Hail, glorious edifice, stupendous work!

God bless the Regent and the Duke of York!

Ye Muses! by whose aid I cried down Fox,

Grant me in Drury Lane a private box,

Where I may loll, cry Bravo! and profess

The boundless powers of England's glorious press;

While Afric's sons exclaim, from shore to shore,

"Quashee ma boo!"-the slave-trade is no more!

In fair Arabia (happy once, now stony,

Since ruined by that arch apostate Boney),

A Phoenix late was caught: the Arab host

Long ponder'd-part would boil it, part would roast,

But while they ponder, up the pot-lid flies,

Fledged, beak'd, and claw'd, alive they see him rise

To heaven, and caw defiance in the skies.

So Drury, first in roasting flames consumed,

Then by old renters to hot water doom'd,

By Wyatt's [2] trowel patted, plump and sleek,

Soars without wings, and caws without a beak.

Gallia's stern despot shall in vain advance

From Paris, the metropolis of France;

By this day month the monster shall not gain

A foot of land in Portugal or Spain.

See Wellington in Salamanca's field

Forces his favourite general to yield,

Breaks through his lines, and leaves his boasted Marmont

Expiring on the plain without his arm on;

Madrid he enters at the cannon's mouth,

And then the villages still further south.

Base Buonapartè, fill'd with deadly ire,

Sets, one by one, our playhouses on fire.

Some years ago he pounced with deadly glee on

The Opera House, then burnt down the Pantheon;

Nay, still unsated, in a coat of flames,

Next at Millbank he cross'd the river Thames;

Thy hatch, O Halfpenny! [3a] pass'd in a trice,

Boil'd some black pitch, and burnt down Astley's twice;

Then buzzing on through ether with a vile hum,

Turn'd to the left hand, fronting the Asylum,

And burnt the Royal Circus in a hurry-

('Twas call'd the Circus then, but now the Surrey).

Who burnt (confound his soul!) the houses twain

Of Covent Garden and of Drury Lane? [3b]

Who, while the British squadron lay off Cork,

(God bless the Regent and the Duke of York!)

With a foul earthquake ravaged the Caraccas,

And raised the price of dry goods and tobaccos?

Who makes the quartern loaf and Luddites rise?

Who fills the butchers' shops with large blue flies?

Who thought in flames St. James's court to pinch? [4a]

Who burnt the wardrobe of poor Lady Finch?-

Why he, who, forging for this isle a yoke,

Reminds me of a line I lately spoke,

"The tree of freedom is the British oak."

Bless every man possess'd of aught to give;

Long may Long Tylney Wellesley Long Pole live; [4b]

God bless the Army, bless their coats of scarlet,

God bless the Navy, bless the Princess Charlotte;

God bless the Guards, though worsted Gallia scoff;

God bless their pig-tails, though they're now cut off;

And, oh! in Downing Street should Old Nick revel,

England's prime minister, then bless the devil!

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I watched my husband sign the papers that would end our marriage while he was busy texting the woman he actually loved. He didn't even glance at the header. He just scribbled the sharp, jagged signature that had signed death warrants for half of New York, tossed the file onto the passenger seat, and tapped his screen again. "Done," he said, his voice devoid of emotion. That was Dante Moretti. The Underboss. A man who could smell a lie from a mile away but couldn't see that his wife had just handed him an annulment decree disguised beneath a stack of mundane logistics reports. For three years, I scrubbed his blood out of his shirts. I saved his family's alliance when his ex, Sofia, ran off with a civilian. In return, he treated me like furniture. He left me in the rain to save Sofia from a broken nail. He left me alone on my birthday to drink champagne on a yacht with her. He even handed me a glass of whiskey—her favorite drink—forgetting that I despised the taste. I was merely a placeholder. A ghost in my own home. So, I stopped waiting. I burned our wedding portrait in the fireplace, left my platinum ring in the ashes, and boarded a one-way flight to San Francisco. I thought I was finally free. I thought I had escaped the cage. But I underestimated Dante. When he finally opened that file weeks later and realized he had signed away his wife without looking, the Reaper didn't accept defeat. He burned down the world to find me, obsessed with reclaiming the woman he had already thrown away.

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“This is a pre-1923 historical reproduction that was curated for quality. Quality assurance was conducted on each of these books in an attempt to remove books with imperfections introduced by the digitization process. Though we have made best efforts - the books may have occasional errors that do not impede the reading experience. We believe this work is culturally important and have elected to bring the book back into print as part of our continuing commitment to the preservation of printed works worldwide.”
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Chapter 1 LOYAL EFFUSION.

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Chapter 2 No.2

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Chapter 3 No.3

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Chapter 4 No.4

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Chapter 5 No.5

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Chapter 6 No.6

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Chapter 7 No.7

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Chapter 8 No.8

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Chapter 9 No.9

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Chapter 10 No.10

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Chapter 11 No.11

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Chapter 12 No.12

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Chapter 13 No.13

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Chapter 14 No.14

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Chapter 15 No.15

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Chapter 16 HAMPSHIRE FARMER'S ADDRESS.

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Chapter 17 No.17

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Chapter 18 No.18

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Chapter 19 No.19

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Chapter 20 No.20

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Chapter 21 No.21

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Chapter 22 No.22

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Chapter 23 No.23

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Chapter 24 No.24

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Chapter 25 No.25

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Chapter 26 No.26

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Chapter 27 No.27

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Chapter 28 No.28

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Chapter 29 No.29

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Chapter 30 THE REBUILDING.

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Chapter 31 No.31

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Chapter 32 No.32

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Chapter 33 No.33

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Chapter 34 No.34

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Chapter 35 No.35

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Chapter 36 No.36

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Chapter 37 No.37

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Chapter 38 No.38

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Chapter 39 No.39

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Chapter 40 No.40

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