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I ASK good things that I detest, With speeches fair; Heed not, I pray Thee, Lord, my breast, But hear my prayer.

Prayer

I ASK good things that I detest,

With speeches fair;

Heed not, I pray Thee, Lord, my breast,

But hear my prayer.

I say ill things I would not say -

Things unaware:

Regard my breast, Lord, in Thy day,

And not my prayer.

My heart is evil in Thy sight:

My good thoughts flee:

O Lord, I cannot wish aright -

Wish Thou for me.

O bend my words and acts to Thee,

However ill,

That I, whate'er I say or be,

May serve Thee still.

O let my thoughts abide in Thee

Lest I should fall:

Show me Thyself in all I see,

Thou Lord of all.

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When Love Turns to Ash

When Love Turns to Ash

Gavin
4.7

My world revolved around Jax Harding, my older brother's captivating rockstar friend. From sixteen, I adored him; at eighteen, I clung to his casual promise: "When you're 22, maybe I'll settle down." That offhand comment became my life's beacon, guiding every choice, meticulously planning my twenty-second birthday as our destiny. But on that pivotal day in a Lower East Side bar, clutching my gift, my dream exploded. I overheard Jax' s cold voice: "Can't believe Savvy's showing up. She' s still hung up on that stupid thing I said." Then the crushing plot: "We' re gonna tell Savvy I' m engaged to Chloe, maybe even hint she' s pregnant. That should scare her off." My gift, my future, slipped from my numb fingers. I fled into the cold New York rain, devastated by betrayal. Later, Jax introduced Chloe as his "fiancée" while his bandmates mocked my "adorable crush"-he did nothing. As an art installation fell, he saved Chloe, abandoning me to severe injury. In the hospital, he came for "damage control," then shockingly shoved me into a fountain, leaving me to bleed, calling me a "jealous psycho." How could the man I loved, who once saved me, become this cruel and publicly humiliate me? Why was my devotion seen as an annoyance to be brutally extinguished with lies and assault? Was I just a problem, my loyalty met with hatred? I would not be his victim. Injured and betrayed, I made an unshakeable vow: I was done. I blocked his number and everyone connected to him, severing ties. This was not an escape; this was my rebirth. Florence awaited, a new life on my terms, unburdened by broken promises.

Chapters
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1

Prayer

18/11/2017

2

Lo! In Thine Honest Eyes I Read

18/11/2017

3

Though Deep Indifference Should Drowse

18/11/2017

4

My Heart, when First the Black-Bird Sings

18/11/2017

5

I Dreamed of Forest Alleys Fair

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6

St. Martin's Summer

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7

Dedication

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8

The Old Chimaeras, Old Receipts

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9

Prelude

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10

The Vanquished Knight

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11

To the Commissioners of Northern Lights

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12

The Relic Taken, what Avails the Shrine

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13

About the Sheltered Garden Ground

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14

After Reading "Antony and Cleopatra"

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15

I Know Not How, but as I Count

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16

Spring Song

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17

The Summer Sun Shone Round Me

18/11/2017

18

You Looked So Tempting in the Pew

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19

Love's Vicissitudes

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20

Duddingstone

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21

Stout Marches Lead to Certain Ends

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22

Away with Funeral Music

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23

To Sydney

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24

Had I the Power that have the Will

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25

O Dull Cold Northern Sky

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26

Apologetic Postscript of a Year Later

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27

To Marcus

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28

To Ottilie

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29

This Gloomy Northern Day

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30

The Wind is Without There and Howls in the Trees

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31

A Valentine's Song

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32

Hail! Childish Slaves of Social Rules

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33

Swallows Travel to and Fro

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34

To Mesdames Zassetsky and Garschine

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35

To Madame Garschine

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36

Music at the Villa Marina

18/11/2017

37

Fear Not, Dear Friend, but Freely Live Your Days

18/11/2017

38

Let Love Go, If Go she Will

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39

I Do Not Fear to Own Me Kin

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40

I Am Like One that for Long Days had Sate

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