Deny Thyself

rmly on her hips. "Where is the water?" She demanded harshly. "It took you long eno

he wagon. Sitting down she pulled her knees up to her

climbed up. "Evlyn, you've been crying." She moved closer and wrapped

nto Callie as if she was

l guides

tarted asking me about my mother and my father. He asked me if my father killed my mother!" Evlyn burst into tear

ou. When you have a friendship with someone, Evlyn, you hold on to that person. You put all your hope in them. You are a very loyal friend. And I know it is because of your suffering. I know you still have a problem with men, but honey, someday you are going to meet someone wh

nd dabbed at h

I won't tell. But hurry,

she saw Peter standing there, a bucket of water in one hand, wildflowers in another. "I'm sorr

She kept her head lowered; studying a pretty rock nears his

om him crying, he made a vow to himself that he would never do or say anything to make those eyes cry ever again. "Please a

"Nobody has ever given me fl

He grinned at her. "If you were my gir

ich illuminated her eyes and sm

her. "Thank you, madam." He was delighted when he heard

urtslinger's v

romise I'll see you later. Don'

id feeling embarrassed all

stepping closer to her. "You're not a f

believe that." E

her. "I will prove it to you." Wi

her gait expressed certain displeasure. "What were you doing talking to him, and accepting fl

up from the beautiful flo

ld you get such a dumb idea like tha

t no bait. Then he brought me flowers. He said if I were his girl he'd bring me flowers every day!" Evlyn tipped her

sa snapped. "Now stop spinning like a child and help me pack these dir

ething wrong?

e a fool? Not a thing." Rosa said.

improve throughout the afternoon. Who wanted a grou

wagons were ready to

ing to go meet some new women." She announced. Without waiting for Rosa's undoubtedly rude answer, she hurried off. Up ahead just a ways

a smile on her. "Of course not

up to the woman's brisk

." The woman said

Gurtslinger?"

are Evlyn Riebe. It is a pleasure to meet you. Wha

b, and had no other reason to stay so my fri

y man, so I suppose I'

all

husband. To the ends of the earth it seems at times!" Mrs. G

declared as if the notio

oung girl not have a beau

til the day she died. I didn't have a good childhood. I suppo

nodded. "She marr

y of putting i

harsh during the day and even worse after he had the drink. I coul

t Mrs. Gurtslinger. "Mr.

He was a rough one. Made my life absolutely terrible. I was married

him awful?" Evlyn asked

ust know how it is, from

rry again after your

He was kind and gentle. He truly loved me. And I could

n't have married your first husband had you known his violent ways. You

with love and Mr. Gurtslinger then I would have been very lonely and a shriveled up old lady. And Mr. Gu

y you would take a chance with being hurt ag

ssify them together. They are different. Men are similar. Some are horses, some are mules. They aren't the same. Mr. Gurtslinger is a good man; my first husband was

with her. "I think so." It didn't mean s

when a young man proves that he is worthy of your love and trust you

ay. "So what you're saying is that I don't think anyone worthy of my love o

urned to Evlyn with a surprise

ther foolish. "I'm trying to grasp the meaning." She sign

k. "Not at all, dear. You will do plenty more thin

on do I have y

My dear, if I told you that the journey would be of no benefit to you. Just

That doesn't make much s

seconds before drifting to her husband you was riding just ahead of them

rs. Gurtslinger quickened her pa

I'm sorry I was so ornery today. I was very inco

now best of all how your emotions bounce like a ball. Your

n together. "Thanks. You're t

to pick a few of the beautiful wildflowers that were growing there. She han

ich fragrance. "No human-made perfume could ever

decide whether she should ask Rosa a question. Throwing ca

sed look. "Trust myself?

trust issues. She said that I won't learn to trust others until I

romise and you trust yourself to k

yn conceded

n didn't take to the idea more. "Evlyn?" Rosa said suddenly

re still on the conversation she had

he trail boss' assista

pened. Rosa, since we're on the subject, do yo

ght you said my words were for

ed her. "But I just wondered if

unch." Rosa said. They turned and started walking back down the line of slowly movi

lous of you many times, Ev

n surprise. "Why would you be jeal

makes other girls feel like rocks. You have a good heart, and a personality that people, especially men, are drawn to. And I have seen Mr. McCain watching you. I think you're right. He d

over Rosa's mouth. "So many women, including you are beautiful, with good hearts and personalities. You grew up in a good family and have so many benefits

Turning they continued

hould discourage him and keep my distance. He'll probably t

hing their wagon the girls climbed up inside. Callie was sitting

ted her friend

osa asked as she settle

have you girl

Mrs. Gurtslinge

ster's wife?"

bit confusing." She paused. "Callie, how

en you trust yourself, you have confidence in yourself, your decisions, and your talents. I read in a newspaper once that if you d

I don't trust mys

earned it in your family. I'm just saying that it's not you

hink I have

d others without giving either half the chance to

Evlyn has problems trusting people, including hersel

d Evlyn's knee. "You've had a rough life, Ev. A

ot abn

ell, if you put

ng you. You're a great friend to me, and you guys are going to be great aunti

nd for the night. While the men and boys cared for the animals and equipment, the women and girls collected buffalo chips fo

o come home to." A male vo

gainst the pot. "Excuse me." She gasped placing a han

lond hair in need of some scissors. "Beggin'

. "Is there something I can do for you?" She asked for politeness sake. How she wishe

figured that would be the polite thing to

ied! Why! Why I don't even

" He said with a wide grin that revea

m. "Sir, I have no intention of meeting or marrying you. Now if you would be

don't need to be frightened of me, missy. I'm a

ured him. Her eyes widened in delight when she

. "Are you causing problems?" He stopped just behind

wagon master. "Heck, no!" He exclaimed.

" Gurtslinger ordered. Jason didn't even stop to look

closer to Evlyn. He peered into her f

ing a strand of hair away from he

ebe, you'd be a lot less trouble." He muttered as he turn

to marry." She c

dn't reply to her as he hurried b

el, his open bible resting on his legs.

Cai

st. He bent to retrieve it. "Why're ya yelling like a

you?" Gurtslinger's question s

and looked at the trail boss. He didn't appea

st that you m

entirely confused by the trail bo

ntended. He swooped down on her as an eagle does a mo

ked, getting annoyed with this whole thing rather quick

ght in armor. You are." Gurtslinger turned and lumbered to his wagon, where his wife had been standing. She g

should go see if she was okay. He started toward her wagon. Maybe he should declare himself. That would at least keep Jason away, unless it scared Evlyn away too. He didn't like to think of that, but he had the strange feeling that such a declaration wou

out Jason. I wanted to

." She extended the bowl towa

He shouldn't appear that he was chasing her. Couldn't appear to forward.

im. "Good night."

in the firelight. He balled his hand into a fist. "I'll see you tomorrow." Turning h

man. She couldn't imagine him ever hurting his family. However,

Cain?" Rosa asked

k to her soup. "He just came

Rosa said as she walked aw

rried Callie's bowl to her. "Here you are." She sank do

ells delicious." Callie paused before continuing. "Could none o

ating whether to menti

roup up some. Fellowship would be just the thing. Benjamin and Evlyn had approved of Callie's plan, and Evlyn promised to deliver the invitations to each of the families that very afternoon. Their respons

, sure that Mrs. Gurtslinger woul

earily. "And why is that?"

r response. "I-Well, I had an

, placing her hands at her hi

t join us for supper tomorrow night and some music.

Evlyn's face. "You get such immoral ideas right out of your head. We won't be havin

e had never heard her raise her voice before. He

e?" Mrs. Gurtslinger

yes, m

wagon and eat your lunch. And I better hear no more bad reports of you,

pset Mrs. Gurtslinger. Could it have anything to do with all the other women not wanting to talk with her, much less be seen with her? Evlyn sat down on the grass and pulled her knees up to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs

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