SOME MEN WEAR PANTIES BOOK 1 WET SPECIAL EDITION

1:23 a.m.

Thursday morning:

I awakened from a deep sleep, horny. My husband snored away next to me, sounding like pigs on the loose. My clit was swollen. I had to rub my walls and quietly sing into the dark room to calm it. My pussy's name was Strawberry, and she had a thing for grapes and anal beads. The AC kept me cool. My nookie was hot, and my ass wanted to be good and fucked. I looked at my sleeping husband like he was a Martian.

Should I awaken him?

Hell, yea, Girl! my salty walls screamed with an attitude.

But my heart won over the battle and said, "Let the man sleep. He has a long day at the office. He takes care of his family, so who was I to wake him up?"

"You are a horny bitch, that's who you are. And you need to wake his ass up, Girl. I'm pulsating and I'm wet and right now I feel more like a twat than Hello, Kitty and you need to feed me, Seymour and I wasn't talking Little Shop of Horror Feed Me either, bitch."

I was about to explode. I had to rub my pussy again, to get her to calm down. Shhh, I cooed, hoping she listened. My pussy could be a stubborn bitch when she wanted to. I think she loved my husband more than I did. Strawberry had a mind of her own, and she wanted a Banana in her Split. Deep down inside I knew I could not wake him up. He had to get up at 6 a.m. Plus when we got married, he said he didn't like anyone messing with his body while he slept. He said Lorraina Bobbit forever fucked his head up when she cut off her husband's dick years ago. I understood. Because if somebody cut my pussy, I was seriously putting some unleaded in their asses, and I wasn't about gas.

2:34 a.m.

When the clock struck 2:34 a.m., I was smoking a cigarette. My thighs drummed together like Sheila E. on tour with Prince in the 80s. I needed some loving. I took a cold shower half an hour ago, without using the soap like the white girls do in the movies, since they seemed to be taking all the black men these days. I tried dating a white man, but he smelled like Rufus 24 hours a day, never used a wash rag to wash his ass and tried to stick his fist in my ass while fucking me with his big toe. Oh, hell no, and a no, and a fuck no, and a double you-got-me-fucked-up no. My homeboi, with his chocolate ass, dated a white girl and married her because she did things a black woman wasn't into. You're not pissing on me, taking a dump on me and I wasn't blowing bubbles in your hairy booty hole. I wasn't that type of country gal.