Fated To Kill My Mate

TER

rlo

y approaching end, I was experiencing an awful, stomach-churning existential crisis. I found myself avoiding thinking of the concept of time and how it was always in motion; I even avoided looking at any clocks at all. Online, I read a post that said "time isn't passing, we are" and almost hurled my phone against the wall. Every second

o be asleep. I felt touched by all this, but I did not want it. I wanted to be left alone, even for a little while, and I especially didn't want Lucas to mess up his routine for my sake because it would affect his pursuit of his

rying hard to act as though my lateness did not upset him. As I walked up b

d planted a kiss on his

ng." He couldn't even lie

alter my mood or give me the dopamine boost I allowed myself to believe I would have.

come." I heard myself saying

ot here. You'll hav

xpecting me to pick him up and piece him back together every single time, as if I had it any easier. It felt strange now, him being the one saying something positive

ven know h

rything's just a m

k was facing me as he picked a bowling ball off the rack. H

y to have f

want to be here. So am I trying

st, Charlotte. What

sing a little higher with each word. "I'll te

act this way? The world'

red over my naked back. He was not wrong, he was not

, I didn't

re ri

mean that,

e complete

denly conscious of the attent

id, but not for me. You'll be here. You still have a life

you talk

doing now- on a n

I

you're always busy with. The point is you have somewhere to be, and it's not here

ame closer to me,

h you." My heart thudded painfully as I

ai

ast not tonight." I t

t I wrestled his hand off, wh

t me while I waited. Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked and I was now grateful for the rain as I could now cry freely without people realizing. It was easy to br

in drops hit my face, I realized I did not really have a

ed to consider it, looking out over the road, and I sensed a person closeby; it fel

ecause of a heartbreak?" He walked closer t

t was just us here, and I happened to be standing right in between

ed up quickly with, "Stay back!" W

, and that was when I figured I had met this person before. There was

ace only slightly illuminated by the hea

are

and scoffed. "Oh." Suddenly, he grabbed me and pu

with recognition. "

latter y

d, and wriggled my wrist o

down at me with a condescendi

you know

good set of bones and organs

ha

st fantasizing

you even

ery good pa

"What do

I'm the man who is goi

" I said and turned a

N

ha

N

t under

oon. Tell m

this man. "Is this ho

approac

tell. I

and took a step forward, hi

hought. "

t to kill yours

u don't know

N

ing to

ing to hur

ut laugh. I was g

e your house address. I would

ds. "You know, I was giving you the benefit of t

m not a

ing for my phone numb

not the mere, fleeting dopamine

because you're gett

t is

llow me,

He rem

on't fol

ka

that's a wel

ot in a hurry. We are

e you s

meant to happen. I'm not rushing.

" I said and backtracked to make sure he was not going to follow me, but he