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The House by the Church-Yard

Chapter 5 How the Royal Irish Artillery Entertained Some of t

Word Count: 3346    |    Released on: 18/11/2017

granduncle could have told me, for he had a marvellous memory, but he died, a pleasant old gentleman of four-score and upwards, when I was a small urchin. I remember

lped now, and the papers I've got are silent upon the point. But there were jollifications to no end both in Palmerstown and Chapelizod

ch, the dapper, florid little priest of the parish, with his silk waistcoat and well-placed paunch, and his keen relish for funny stories, side-dishes, and convivial glass; and Dan Loftus, that simple, meek, semi-barbarous young scholar, his head

le, a good tough enigma. It was a theme they never tired of. Loftus had already two folios of extracts copied from all the records to which Dr. Walsingham could procure him access. They could not have worked harder, indeed, if they were getting up evidence to prove their joint title to Lord Castlemallard

steady, I allow - but enough to delight the rector, and inspire him with a tender reverence for the indefatigable and versatile yout

time longer. He was coming over to visit the Irish estates - perhaps to give Nutter a wrinkle or two. He was a bachelor, and his lordship averred would be a prodigious great match for some of our Irish ladies. Chapelizod would be his headquarters while in Ireland. No, he was not sure - he rather thought he was not of the Thorley family; and so on for a mighty long time. But though he tired them prodigiously, he contrived to evoke before their minds' eyes a very gigantic, though somewhat hazy figure, and a good deal stimulated the interest with which a new arrival was commonly looked for in

of-the-way lore, and retained it with a someti

herefore, stands in need of an excitator, which excitator may be either good or evil; but is more frequently Satan himself, by reason of some previous oppignoration or compact with witches. The power, indeed, is in the witch, and not conf

dinner, overpower the vivacity of any tranquil gentleman who loves a nap after that meal - gently draw the curtains of his senses, and extinguish the bed-room candle of his consciousness. In the doctor's address and quotati

ped vehemently plump little Lieutenant Puddock, in one of those stage fren

er literal, very courteous, a chevallier, indeed, sans reproche. He had a profound faith in his genius for tragedy, but those who liked him best could not help thinking that his plump cheeks, round, little light eyes, his lisp, and a certain lack-a-daisical, though solemn expression of surprise, which Nature, i

stand well in her gratheth, by Jove, Thir, you mutht give yourthelf up to her body and thoul. How the deuthe can a fel

ns' and lovely wom

an he pothibly have a chance againth geniuses, no doubt - vathly thuperior by nature'-(Puddock, the rogue, beli

in'; and I that had twiste his brains, could not come round it, though I got up every morning for a month at four o'clock, and was obleeged to give over be rason of a soart iv a squint I was gettin' be looking continually at the fiddle-stick. I began with a double bass, the way

, 'study - time to devote - industry in great things a

n Nature, dear Puddock, so pass the bott

lley play-house - incog., I mean, of course. There's that wonderful little Mr. Garrick - why he's the talk of the three kingdoms as long as I

inch over Rocius, honestly, let us hope. 'But this is building castles in the air; joking apart, however, I

poke that sympathetic speech

ustice Greedy,'

was it?- that smo

g clout,' pers

ou know - and stabbed hims

in -'tis written

but English, I'm thinking of - a pilla

by Othello's borrowing his properties from the kitchen; 'I venture to say you were well entertained: and for my part, Sir, th

ith a most gratified derisiveness, for he cher

s; O'Flaherty, the illiterate, blundering in with sincere applause; and

table being by this time in high chat, and the chairs a little irregular, Puddock slipped off his, and addressing himself to Devereu

w, i' the grave, a

ch - as the reader may not be aware

d, as presentl

led with an imaginary hoop on grandly backward, and in spite of a surprising flick-flack cut in the attempt to recover his

ed up, with a snort an

with a melancholy bow, in reply to a fiery and start

und with a wan smile; and I fancy he thought a lady had somehow intro

company,' said the general, a little surly, and looking full upon the plump Monimia

' says Father Roach, testily, for he had been himself frighte

egan to a

let's fill our glasses - my Lord Castlemallar

tty wine,'

a song? I say, gentlemen, there are fine voices among y

ng, I'm told,' said Captain Cluf

ld one, and not yet quite off the hooks), 'Mr. L

g a note. So when he opened his eyes, looked round, and blushed, there was a g

ld writer upon fasting in Lent, and was, in fact, a reproof to all hypocrisy. Hereupon there was a great ringing of glasses and a jolly round of laughter rose up in the cheer that welcom

ghty good dogs, which he lent freely, being a good-natured fellow. He liked good living and jolly young fellows, and was popular among the officers, who used to pop in freely enough at his reverence

ooked in on some such business upon his reverence - a little suddenly - and fou

e had been caught in the very act of criminal conversation with the hare-pie. He rose with a spring, like a Jack-ina-box, as they entered, and knife and fork in hand, and with shining chops, stared at them with an angry, bothered

'unreasonable remarks' of his parishioners (a roar of laughter); that he was, perhaps, rightly served for not having publicly availed himself of his bishop's dispensation (renewed peals of merriment). By this foolish delicacy (more of that detestable horse-laughter), he had got himself into a false position; and so on, till the ad misericordiam peroration addressed to 'Captain Devereux, dear,' and 'Toole, my honey.' Well, they quizzed him unmercifully; they sat down and eat all that was left of the hare-pi

reams of laughter from the company. Indeed the lord mayor, a fat slob of a fellow, though not much given to undue merriment, laughed his ribs into such a state of breathless torture, that he implored of Toole, with a wave of his hand - he could not speak - to give him breathing time, which that voluble performer disregarding, his lordship had to rise twice, and get to the window, or, as he afterwards s

the officers and Toole a grand Lent dinner of fish, with no less than nineteen different plats, baked, boiled, ste

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1 A Prologue - Being a dish of village chat2 The Rector's Night-Walk to His Church3 Chapter 2 The Nameless Coffin4 Chapter 3 Mr. Mervyn in His Inn5 Chapter 4 The Fair-Green of Palmerstown6 Chapter 5 How the Royal Irish Artillery Entertained Some of t7 Chapter 6 In which the Minstrelsy Proceeds8 Chapter 7 Showing How Two Gentlemen May Misunderstand One Ano9 Chapter 8 Relating How Doctor Toole and Captain Devereux Went10 Chapter 9 How a Squire was Found for the Knight of the Rueful11 Chaptear 10 The Dead Secret, Showing How the Fireworker Prove12 Chapter 11 Some Talk About the Haunted House - Being, as I 13 Chapter 12 Some Odd Facts About the Tiled House - Being an 14 Chapter 13 In which the Rector Visits the Tiled House, and Do15 Chaptear 14 Relating How Puddock Purged O'flaherty's Head16 Chaptear 15 Sculapius to the Rescue17 Chapter 16 The Ordeal by Battle18 Chapter 17 Lieutenant Puddock Receives an Invitation and a Ra19 Chapter 18 Relating How the Gentlemen Sat Over Their Claret, 20 Chapter 19 In which the Gentlemen Follow the Ladies21 Chapter 20 In which Mr. Dangerfield Visits the Church of Chap22 Chapter 21 Relating Among Other Things How Doctor Toole Walke23 Chapter 22 Telling How Mr. Mervyn Fared at Belmont, and of a 24 Chapter 23 Which Concerns the Grand Dinner at the King's Ho25 Chapter 24 In which Two Young Persons Understand One Another 26 Chaptear 25 In which the Sun Sets, and the Merry-Making is Ke27 Chapter 26 Relating How the Band of the Royal Irish Artillery28 Chapter 27 Concerning the Troubles and the Shapes that Began 29 Chapter 28 In which Mr. Irons Recounts Some Old Recollections30 Chapter 29 Showing How Poor Mrs. Macnamara was Troubled and H31 Chapter 30 Concerning a Certain Woman in Black32 Chapter 31 Being a Short History of the Great Battle of Belmo33 Chapter 32 Narrating How Lieutenant Puddock and Captain Dever34 Chapter 33 In which Captain Devereux's Fiddle Plays a Prelu35 Chapter 34 In which Lilias Hears a Stave of an Old Song and T36 Chaptear 35 In which Aunt Becky and Doctor Toole, in Full Blo37 Chapter 36 Narrating How Miss Lilias Visited Belmont, and Saw38 Chapter 37 Showing How Some of the Feuds in Chapelizod Waxed 39 Chapter 38 Dreams and Troubles, and a Dark Look-Out40 Chapter 39 Telling How Lilias Walsingham Found Two Ladies Awa41 Chapter 40 Of a Messenger from Chapelizod Vault who Waited in42 Chaptear 41 In which the Rector Comes Home, and Lily Speaks H43 Chapter 42 In which Dr. Sturk Tries this Way and that for a R44 Chapter 43 Showing How Charles Nutter's Blow Descended, and45 Chapter 44 Relating How, in the Watches of the Night, a Visio46 Chapter 45 Concerning a Little Rehearsal in Captain Cluffe'47 Chapter 46 The Closet Scene, with the Part of Polonius Omitte48 Chapter 47 In which Pale Hecate Visits the Mills, and Charles49 Chapter 48 Swans on the Water50 Chapter 49 Swans in the Water51 Chapter 50 Treating of Some Confusion, in Consequence, in the52 Chapter 51 How Charles Nutter's Tea, Pipe, and Tobacco-Box 53 Chapter 52 Concerning a Rouleau of Guineas and the Crack of a54 Chapter 53 Relating After what Fashion Dr. Sturk Came Home55 Chapter 54 In which Miss Magnolia Macnamara and Dr. Toole, in56 Chapter 55 In which Dr. Toole, in Full Costume, Stands Upon t57 Chapter 56 Doctor Walsingham and the Chapelizod Christians Me58 Chapter 57 In which Dr. Toole and Mr. Lowe Make a Visit at th59 Chapter 58 In which One of Little Bopeep's Sheep Comes Home60 Chapter 59 Telling How a Coach Drew up at the Elms, and Two F61 Chapter 60 Being a Chapter of Hoops, Feathers, and Brilliants62 Chapter 61 In which the Ghosts of a by-Gone Sin Keep Tryst63 Chapter 62 Of a Solemn Resolution which Captain Devereux Regi64 Chapter 63 In which a Liberty is Taken with Mr. Nutter's Na65 Chapter 64 Being a Night Scene, in which Miss Gertrude Chatte66 Chapter 65 Relating Some Awful News that Reached the Village,67 Chapter 66 Of a Certain Tempest that Arose and Shook the Capt68 Chapter 67 In which a Certain Troubled Spirit Walks69 Chapter 68 How an Evening Passes at the Elms, and Dr. Toole M70 Chapter 69 Concerning a Second Hurricane that Raged in Captai71 Chapter 70 In which an Unexpected Visitor is Seen. In the Ced72 Chapter 71 In which Mr. Irons's Narrative Reaches Merton Mo73 Chaptear 72 In which the Apparition of Mr. Irons is Swallowed74 Chapter 73 Concerning a Certain Gentleman, with a Black Patch75 Chapter 74 In which Doctor Toole, in His Boots, Visits Mr. Ga76 Chapter 75 How a Gentleman Paid a Visit at the Brass Castle, 77 Chapter 76 Relating How the Castle was Taken, and How Mistres78 Chapter 77 In which Irish Melody Prevails79 Chapter 7880 Chapter 79 Showing How Little Lily's Life Began to Change i81 Chapter 8082 Chapter 81 In which Mr. Dangerfield Receives a Visitor, and M83 Chapter 8284 Chapter 8385 Chapter 84 In which Christiana Goes Over; and Dan Loftus Come86 Chapter 8587 Chapter 8688 Chapter 8789 Chapter 88 In which Mr. Moore the Barber Arrives, and the Med90 Chapter 8991 Chapter 9092 Chapter 9193 Chapter 92 The Wher-Wolf94 Chapter 93 In which Doctor Toole and Dirty Davy Confer in the95 Chapter 94 What Doctor Sturk Brought to Mind, and All that Do96 Chapter 95 In which Doctor Pell Declines a Fee, and Doctor St97 Chapter 96 About the Rightful Mrs. Nutter of the Mills, and H98 Chapter 97 In which Obediah Arrives99 Chapter 98 In which Charles Archer Puts Himself Upon the Coun100 Chapter 99 The Story Ends