What Remains of Me

now how I

not the city, not even the sound of traffic. My mind was a broken rad

se was too quiet. It used to echo with Jason's laughter, his tiny feet thumping on

lowly, like the air

nt hit

shampoo I used on him. Still lingering. Still here. My legs wobbled, but I didn't fa

ouch. Just sat there, staring into nothing. My min

was

o

by wa

even get to

t could hold me together. But inside... It was chaos. A loud, ugly chaos ripping my soul in half. I sh

ave gotten th

n't have

r creak

y ears caught the sound of shoes-the expensive

od beh

la

ir got ev

confusion. He probably thought I had followed him home because of what I saw at the offi

e was soft... fake-soft. L

ct you here. I wanted to come f

n't r

vous even. His eyes were red. Maybe from guilt

And I'm sorry. I know I messed up. But things haven't been easy bet

I lifted my ey

when I

mirk that stretched my lip

em of his shirt, the way he always did when he was trying t

, you haven't been present either. Everything was about Jason. You b

my head

"You think I'm here

fro

se could

d like a ghost. My legs floated toward the dining table where Jason's drawings still lay. Crayons scattered

ked i

t like it was

pered, "Jas

fell like

e bli

to w

ed up

his lips-like I was joking. Like this was just ano

ok my

cracking. "He's gone, S

color drain

little. "What...

w, still holding Jason's

nted so badly. I took my eyes off him for just a second and.

is mouth, but n

His skin was blue. His lips. His fingers. Everything. I pulled him out

their way to my chee

" I said. "My ba

to hold me. Maybe to say somet

king away. "Don't touch me.

Like the ground was slip

I picked it up. Flipped through the pages. His birth certificate. His vaccinatio

abandoned emotionally the second things got hard. The same boy I ca

, ple

care. You lost the right when you kissed another wom

care. I couldn't. Something in me ha

k. I shut him do

n silen

Suffo

ds moved like they had a purpose-folding clothes, tossing

doing?" he asked, hi

ply. "I can't stay here. Not

ck my path. I p

said. "You don't get to beg. You mad

lung over my shoulder, hear

ped out, I turned

ye, So

, I walked in