Her Own Making: A Family
ol' s pot roast filled the dining room, a smel
smell of my ow
the food untouched, a kno
able, the portraits of long-dead Millers staring down with judgmental eyes, t
th
nt Carol said, her voice dripping with a
ot good enough f
, weak smile, her hand fluttering to her chest as i
don' t trou
stressed about the
ive program, I' d be
, sitting beside m
t worr
ve go
as a point, y
as the
as the exact conversati
p my internship opportunity at Star-Tech, the one I had bled
t handle the rejection, and the entire family, Mich
ould be a temp
was
beginning
watching my dreams get handed to my manipulative co
al bed from an illness exacerbated by stress and negl
d the beeping of the heart monitor that
, cold and sharp
o
ag
and from Mich
phantom limb from a life
ar and steady, surprising everyo
giving up the
lence fell o
Miller, lowe
s smile froz
d been full of feigned sy
ediately
t thought, with my condition... the doc
brow furrowed with conce
e reas
ed abou
st an in
ealth is mor
ant," I stated, look
the man I loved, but as a stranger
my career
rned
o say," my aunt snapped, her sweet facad
is your
s fra
ost l
ag
predator wrapp
fragile about h
ision," I said, pu
against the floor was l
pting the posit
nient for anyone' s plans, bu
ng stronger than they had
a small, symbolic rejection of ever
could feel their eyes on my back, a
' t lo
ation, it was a decla
lanned for me was o
hadn' t experienced since before my parents died
cated in the attic of their spr
freedom was quie
ld jewelry box my
d a pair of sapphire earrings, pieces I
ing to
aste fille
ng would n
n thi
' t he
small, reputable pawn shop on the other side of the c
an old man with glasses perched on h
?" he asked, hi
and placed it on
ke to se
xamining it under a bright l
ional, his mov
d the gold, and scribbled fi
gment in his eye
refre
ty," he said finally
er you a f
ed a n
ore than
eed money fo
t," I said wi
thick envelope of cash in my purs
life, converting a symbol of a false
t just currenc
r, the deposit on an apartment, the pri
fternoon, my
s Mic
go to v
lled
lenc
s later, a t
need t
t is ver
aving heart
l m
sage, a cold anger
palpit
lways so
pell, a sudden bout o
tom illnesses she deployed whenever
ell for it, ev
y from my first life, a memory
twenty-fir
se weekend getaway for us, a
so e
was all I coul
Millers, away from Bet
supposed to leave, Beth
hest, gasping for
to the emergenc
e doctors found absolute
damage w
sted we canc
aid, his face etched with worry as he sat
needs
dn' t
ded an
my suitcase packed and waiting
thany, but
hat my happiness woul
was just something to be put on hold
he root of
ig betrayal, it was a
e "too aggressive" while Bethany w
his business, promising to pay me back with interest that never m
onal labor of managing Bethany' s m
' s text message
y no longer brought te
niversity thousands of miles away, a place renowned fo
w my name, my history, o
the keyboard as I fil
ut wanting to build technology that connects people in meaningful way
life, I had
ance letter for days, a be
ily convince me that going so far
cal community college instead, so I could s
ere would be
ld be no
ked "S
ion window popped
ation has be
rst one in a long, long
t applying to
ying for a
I was determine
ger a weight dragging me down,
aken one l
d not get