Is This the Life We Really Want?

hispered, barel

t, but I could see the concern lurking in her eyes

as. On the p

rs clammy. My heart didn't just skip, it

voice lower this time. Like he

haking a little, but I tried

he energy from his end, like he was deci

voice quieter this time. Not sharp. Not slick

at. "I didn't rec

nto a line. She didn't say a word, b

"Didn't want to call t

fed. That word had a

was a

me?" I asked, not h

id, his voice steady. "For how everything

in the wall like it held answers. "It wasn't just

r a second. The

n't r

e," he said. "I just... wanted to see if I could t

"You want

ion. No pressure. Just you and me. S

earching for something. What, I didn't know. But she wasn'

"I don't even know what you want from me, Mal

th hitch. "But I think we owe it to ourselves to clear the air

in? What did he e

, to forget about it. But then another part of me, the part that had felt something shift duri

it. Maybe it was the curiosity. Maybe i

it but too deep into the conversa

u so much Ser

e?" I

e he wasn't expecting

ust off 116th.

h he couldn't see me

you be free

her eyes to flog me. "I

u s

tered. "But I sai

through the line. Not

else, and I just stood there, st

arp as ever. "Girl. No. You can't be ser

hing serious," I said. "I

his position to get close to you. He's not just some random guy;

the air. "I know. I'm not stupid, Rose. I do

. "I didn'

st, her lips pressed into a tight line

it sound like

is. Power games. Men like him? T

lip, looking down at my fingers. Ink smudg

ger I was hearing, it was the concern. She cared. I could tell

t don't want you caught up in s

t of silence, h

ou really think Jor

, quick. "I think Jorda

r mouth, then

," I said. "Maybe I'm just tir

cafeteria with the radio low, the kind of silence that's full of words no one's ready to say. When I

lked

call

er Jordan's

dewalk. The air smelled like corner-store grease and wind o

ift. His coat was gone, but his thermos still sat on the k

ing

one glowing in my hand. I stared at Malik's

dn't

ed in

e tomorr

tral. Famil

d almost

be t

ugh class like normal, but I was distracted. Could barely eat lunch. Couldn't write.

t of Eva's Café, still deciding

kers. The kind of café that smelled like cinnamon and secrets. People inside were mostly older. A coup

eflection stared back, but

, I wal

t sharp enough to turn a few heads. I s

en I s

li

o suit. Just a grey sweatshirt and jeans,

y other guy. Tha

es met

sto

ath hi

dn't

her

ery step louder in my h

the seat

between us like fog t

sa

s

yes l

th