Is This the Life We Really Want?

nge everything, not with

n't pl

ps to my dad's office building in Harlem. I hadn't eve

I wasn't ready to put out. And deep down, for reasons I couldn't explain, I wanted m

s favorite lunch, hopped on a train d

A world I was too young to step into, or so he made it seem. But today, I wanted to see it for my

ry Wells," I said when I r

p, adjusting her gl

His dau

you all the time. Give me just a moment." She start

be done soon. You can wait over there, or

aid, managing

floor. The city stretched out past tall glass windows,

he conference room, gripping

loser I got to that door, the more nervous

e the feeling that

hy I stopped, u

vo

alm. Fa

those projections

fr

No

, slow, careful like

here

ousand times without thinking. The same blazer from the conference now slung over the

li

ntorship lunch. M

Ma

up my throat. My heartbeat pounded so loud I

s eyes f

e that, the

er

ything in that one word. Confusio

ooth again. Composed. But I saw it. The crack. The shift

father

eyebrows lifting. "What are

came out. My eyes flicked fro

e. "Wait... do you

sured. "We met recentl

s voice. Like every word had to be

at me. "You mean the st

ce. Felt sti

ke the three of us were holding pieces

finally, lifting the paper bag like i

kept bouncing between us. I cou

"I didn't k

me, his voice low. "And I didn

o another silence, h

side of his head. "Well

I just came to surprise you, Da

, but his voice d

't say anything. Back at the con

egretful smile. "It only

it still felt like I'd mi

ag tighter. I n

oice thinner now, "I

side, gave me s

top

ng. I just didn't know

didn't wait for an explanation. Did

My heart? Even louder. I needed to breathe. I needed

lunch, make him smile. I didn't know I was the one in for th

hat I was carrying and decided to press in harder. People walked

ne had

his card without blinking? Was my dad's boss? Just like that? Was I ju

missed it. Or why

ectric. Not fear exactly... but that feeling

han poetry, bigger than college,

ction in the office glass, one thought

sees you clearest... is

, heart thudding like it w

Maybe this was something beginni

r not, I kn

wear

it better t

e hadn't tak

her